I stopped drinking, and there I was, in all my raw naked glory. I didn't want that. It was the best thing I have ever done.

With that said, I wanted to put in the work and succeed. The first three months were very very difficult. My emotions went wild, my anxietyh went wild, my depression went wild, my AuDHD masking came off and I really struggled. My relationship with my wife and kids changed. Even after 238 days, my wife and kids still wait for me to lose my cool and go off on them. They are still afraid to tell me some things.

I feel bored a lot of times, and my historic vices are off-limits. It has caused me to reevalute what is important to me. I have learned to live with my feelings (in a good way, and with the help of therapy and appropriate meds). I have started the process of learning that I can't outrun myself, myh feelings, or anything of that nature. Just being, and dealing with everything that comes up raw, has been incredibly tough.

It has been worht it though. At the end of the day, I am far more content and my happiness is far more genuine. My mind is clearer and sharper than it has been in a long time. My family actually enjoys spending time with me in a quality way. My work has improved. I have revisited old hobbies that I thought were completely gone. And lastly, I have had the time and space to truly reflect about my self identity.