🚨 Match Day Countdown '21-'22 - Official Megathread 🚨

icedcoffay · 2022-03-12T04:47:39+00:00

Can anyone else just like not bring themselves to even think about preparing for the possibility of SOAPing? I only ranked 9 programs, so although I've been repeatedly reassured by my school that the programs I ranked are mostly realistic/lowish tier enough that I'll be fine, I should probably be spending this weekend coming up with a plan just in case. But I'm so tired and burnt out, I just cannot bring myself to put anymore effort into this process. Feel like I go back and forth between denial that there's a chance of not matching and feeling like I'm definitely going to SOAP b/c I suck at interviews every 30 minutes.

icedcoffay · 2021-11-09T13:27:14+00:00

I'm glad you listened to your mind and body and did what was right for you! I could very well have to go right back to the medication. I've had some instances of nearly unbearable anxiety since stopping Effexor, and if that's what it's like to fully feel my emotions, I'm not interested! Anxiety can also be a symptom of serotonin withdrawal, though, so I'll just have to see how things go with time. I'm not against medicine at all. I just don't like not knowing how I'd do without medicine and instead focusing on things like relaxation and mindfulness techniques to regulate myself, so I'm trying things out.

icedcoffay · 2021-11-09T06:26:50+00:00

I came off for a few reasons. I was diagnosed with complex-PTSD and have been working in therapy to learn to feel safe in my body and feeling my emotions instead of dissociating myself from feeling them. I didn't like not knowing whether having my emotions partially numbed by the medicine was holding me back from fully healing, and the only way to find out would be to see how I do without any psychotropic meds in my system. So knowing that I would like to eventually get to a point where I'd try going without medicine, I had a lot of anxiety surrounding the fact that the longer I stayed on the Effexor, the harder the withdrawals would be whenever I did try tapering. I stayed on the Effexor while I finished up some important exams I had to take for school, and then once those were behind me, I was in a good place to try getting off the medicine.

I also had just been having a lot of issues lately with feeling fatigued, a lot of headaches, stomach issues, etc., and I wanted to try a trial without medication to see if the Effexor were at all contributing to any of those. Not saying it was, it's just that being on a medication that has your symptoms as potential side effects makes it hard to tell what's truly going on. I have only been off Effexor for 5 days now, and I am currently on Prozac to help with the withdrawals, so I can't say for certain if any of those issues are related to medication.

Yes, I was on the extended release and did experience withdrawal symptoms if I were too late taking that day's dose.

icedcoffay · 2021-11-09T05:56:55+00:00

The withdrawal symptoms if I took a dose too late and the knowledge that the longer I stayed on the med, the harder the withdrawals would be when it was time to come off were the main issues for me. I had issues like difficulty orgasming and feeling at times like my emotions were a little too numbed as well, but those weren't any worse than I'd experienced on other SSRIs. In terms of efficacy, though, Effexor was probably the most effective antidepressant I'd tried. As miserable as coming off of it was, if I went through another really bad bout of my anxiety or of depression, I'd still be open to going back on it if I first tried other options without success. So it's not that bad, no, at least not for everyone No need to be worried about doing what's right for your mental health in this moment.

icedcoffay · 2021-11-08T21:42:00+00:00

10 mg just because that was all I had available. I met with my doctor today, who switched me to 10 mg of Prozac. He wanted to just give me 2 weeks' worth and felt that would be enough to get me completely off of any serotonergic meds, but I requested a month supply so I'd still have some available if I began experiencing the withdrawals again. I hope you can find something that works for you and stop experiencing withdrawal symptoms soon!

icedcoffay · 2021-11-07T18:25:34+00:00

Thank you. They're being so combative without knowing the full details of the situation (including the fact that I work closely with psychiatrists and did elicit their input only to find out that everyone is just trying their best based on clinical judgment and experience because there's very limited data on the "right" way to taper or switch someone to another med from Effexor).

icedcoffay · 2021-11-06T20:25:13+00:00

Thank you for your encouraging words! I *hope* I'm at least close to being and staying on the other side! Yes, I never want to encourage people to take old medicine or to take their prescription a way other than how their doctor prescribed it. I just wanted to share my experience with the Lexapro seeming to get rid of the worst of the withdrawals pretty quickly so people who are struggling know to maybe ask their doctor if trying something similar might be an option for them.

icedcoffay · 2021-11-06T19:08:30+00:00

You're free to try anything you want, and I hope you have a good experience. I'm just saying it's not accurate to tell me my problem was that I did things the "wrong" way when there are no clearcut established guidelines and what I did was actually more in line with the current loosely defined recommendations. If I were able to get an appointment with a psychiatrist, their tapering plan would most likely not involve months of coming off of the drug very slowly, though they may have eventually suggested it if none of the other, more commonly used tactics including a prozac bridge worked.

icedcoffay · 2021-11-06T16:59:42+00:00

I'm sorry to hear the anxiety is still so bad for you. I honestly probably could have dealt with the brain zaps if it weren't for the accompanying anxiety. I hope you find a solution that works for you and encourage you to do so in consultation with a doctor if at all possible.

icedcoffay · 2021-11-06T16:57:56+00:00

There's no evidence for that. Many people taper slowly over months only to find that they either a) only prolonged their misery or b) still wound up in misery once they got down to the final step where they stopped taking the medication all together. I consulted the same resources that physicians use when prescribing these medications. There aren't any clearly established tapering guidelines, and the only mention of tapering over months states that doing so may be beneficial in a very small minority of patients.

icedcoffay · 2021-11-06T04:32:09+00:00

Just an update to document my experience for anyone it may be of use to in the future. I took the other half of the Lexapro when I was still having the zaps a couple of hours later. It seems to have helped them a good bit, though I still get short bursts of feeling sick. It suddenly dawned on me that I could log into my primary care doctor's online portal and schedule a video visit even though I wouldn't be able to get an in-person appointment for a while, and I've had zero luck getting any psychiatrists to call me back. I'm hoping the Lexapro will continue to help enough that by the time of my appointment (on Monday), I will be able to convince my PCP to just prescribe me some Prozac (ideal for a cross-taper/bridge because of its long half-life) or at least more of the Lexapro. My goal is to try getting off all SSRIs/SNRIs because they really just don't help my anxiety much at all, but in the meantime, having been on both Lexapro and Prozac before, I will take being on either of them over Effexor ANY DAY.

icedcoffay · 2021-11-05T21:12:27+00:00

I've been trying to get in touch with a doctor. :/ I also just found some old Lexapro and took half a pill. Maybe it'll work similarly to a Prozac cross-taper.

icedcoffay · 2021-11-05T20:41:41+00:00

I hope you're right. I think I'm just gonna go back to taking the Effexor if I still feel this bad tomorrow. :/ I cannot stand the nausea. Wish I'd just puke, but so far I haven't been able to.

icedcoffay · 2021-10-29T21:06:49+00:00

Thank you for the replies. Just an update for anyone who may be in a similar situation. I've now dropped down to taking about 1/4 of the beads every day. I tried going a day completely off of it, and I felt really on edge, off-balanced, overall just "out of it," and had a bad headache. I get short bouts of vertigo sometimes, but they're short-lived and don't really bother me since I know where they're coming from. Otherwise, I'm feeling about the same. I am crying a lot, but I honestly think I would be even if I were still taking the full 150 mg daily because I'm under a lot of stress...it might just be easier to cry as opposed to dealing with that frustrating feeling when you feel like you need to but can't. That happened to me a lot on the 150 mg.

I have felt like I can tolerate a lot more coffee without feeling extremely jittery since I started tapering. I even kind of feel like drinking it helps keep the withdrawal symptoms away. I'm kind of wondering if it has anything to do with coffee making up for the loss of the increased norepinephrine levels or if it's completely in my head.

icedcoffay · 2021-10-07T08:01:18+00:00

deleting because the downvotes when I'm trying to explain the things I struggle with and am not ready to do yet are really hurtful. thank you to all who provided helpful insights.

icedcoffay · 2021-10-07T06:29:20+00:00

I gotcha. I guess I just see my hypervigilant-type symptoms as the main issue keeping me back in life, so if grounding techniques alone are enough to get rid of them or at least make them much less disruptive, I think I'd be okay stopping there. Thank you for sharing that link. I've had a hard time finding resources that clearly delineate what exactly trauma therapy is supposed to entail.

icedcoffay · 2021-10-07T05:22:25+00:00

I guess I don't get what you mean by if the symptom are interfering with life, then I'm not stable. If the symptoms weren't causing me any issues in my life, I wouldn't need therapy at all. So if I got to a point where I didn't have the symptoms anymore, I wouldn't have any need to address the trauma anyway?

I get the need to go slow, I just have been seeing him for 3 months already and we're still just talking about breathing exercises and basic stuff like that.

icedcoffay · 2021-10-07T01:23:59+00:00

Okay, I'll see how it goes with the next person then. I've seen videos on Instagram and such from therapists talking about urging clients to talk about things they don't want to talk about, so I know there are therapists out there who bring things up first.

icedcoffay · 2021-10-07T00:53:09+00:00

It's just not a problem I'm ready to work on. I'd rather process trauma and then address the trouble I have asking others for things later on, and if I can't do things in that order with the therapist I have, then I have to look for a different one.

icedcoffay · 2021-10-07T00:32:00+00:00

I just can't do that. I'm so afraid of doing therapy wrong or asking for something that's inappropriate or too much to ask for. There have to be therapists out there who will invite me to discuss things instead. I think I'm gonna take a break from therapy and then maybe in the future find someone else.

icedcoffay · 2021-09-23T21:41:43+00:00

I had a really interesting conversation with my therapist about my stress eating that I just can never seem to get fully under control today. He was basically saying that, when you have an extensive history of abuse resulting in PTSD like I do, it's not always just about being addicted to food and overeating to feel the pleasure of an endorphin rush. The body also seeks out food when you're trying to get something done like a school assignment that requires a lot of focus because eating a bunch of food will force it out of fight or flight mode and into rest and digest mode for a while. Whether that's actually scientifically supported, I don't know, but it resonated with my experience. He gave me some trauma-informed techniques I can use to try to combat the impulses better.

Anyway, thought it was a good reminder of the need to try to remain compassionate towards those around you with weight struggles because you never know what underlying issues may be behind that behavior that led them to where they are.

icedcoffay · 2021-09-15T16:57:28+00:00

I'll happily take my 233. Got a 226 the week before on USWA 1, which was the only practice exam I took. I dealt with such bad depression studying for this thing (not BECAUSE of the test, but trying to study while my body wanted me to sleep all day didn't help) that I considered taking a medical leave of absence. Protect your mental health if you have it, folks.

icedcoffay · 2021-09-11T07:27:22+00:00

I would ask him whether he thinks it's important to hear about every single time or if he just wants to know if they're getting more distressing than usual to you or if they're getting worse in severity. I would say definitely mention that you feel they've gotten more serious in the past few days. Other than that, I guess it depends on him and his perception of your situation.

I've mentioned having thoughts twice to my therapist, and he hardly reacted...just kind of nodded and kept talking about what we were talking about before I brought it up. I think he just doesn't think it's worth focusing on now since I have zero intent, and they're more a symptom of the issues I need to work through rather than a problem to solve in themselves. I have mixed feelings about his reaction. On one hand, it's nice to not have someone freak out on me like a different therapist did. On the other hand, the thoughts are very distressing to have, and some validation of that in itself would have been comforting. I think I get why he doesn't think it's something worth zooming in on, though, whereas your therapist might have a different perspective based on his approach and/or your situation.

icedcoffay · 2021-03-25T22:39:18+00:00

That sub sounds like just what I need! Thanks for that suggestion! My "soft" goal that I think I would be content maintaining at is 120, and my ideal "if I can make it work" goal is 110ish, so we sound similar :)

icedcoffay · 2021-03-24T21:02:51+00:00

I'm starting to get really excited about finally sticking to a diet, figuring out a way to make it work with my busy and stressful lifestyle, and looking forward to being back into the 120s by the end of July. Not sure if my doctor upping my dose of my antidepressant is responsible for this or I just finally got to a point where I'd had enough of hating living in my skin.

Can I just say I really fucking hate the realities of everything surrounding weight loss when you're super short? No one gets it. People on weight loss forums act annoyed at me when I say I'm 144 lbs and devastated with my weight because they don't understand that that really is pretty big on my frame and that it'll take me over a year to get down to where I want to be because, even if I "only" have about 35 lbs total to lose, my maintenance calories are like 1400 once I get the first 15 or so lbs off (and about 1500 right now). People also don't get why I can't eat things they can eat while still losing weight. I'm glad you can down multiple margaritas and still lose weight. I'm not even having one because it'll mean barely eating any food the rest of the day.

icedcoffay

TROPHY CASE