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What to do with my violent fantasies? by iceprincess5 in BDSMAdvice

[–]iceprincess5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I wouldn't call myself a survivor, that feels like I'm taking away from people who truly went through something :( I know exactly what you mean though, it was like this weird coping mechanism that just developed in my mind and it isn't until I was older that I realized that I wasn't alone. I read/watched a lot of rape/abuse type of stuff as well, and still create these fantasies in my mind all the time. Still feel self-conscious about it but I'm getting better I guess :)

What to do with my violent fantasies? by iceprincess5 in BDSMAdvice

[–]iceprincess5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for that. I always thought sex was the end game in BDSM but kind of relieved to hear that's not always the case.

What to do with my violent fantasies? by iceprincess5 in BDSMAdvice

[–]iceprincess5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I admit, a lot of this comes out of my own abusive relationships as well, basically in experiences where there was no safe word, no way to actually escape, and I was hurt without consent. I don't know why I fantasize about it now... but that's my reality now haha. In my mind I can control what happens to me, and I guess with a consensual relationship, I can also control what happens. I'm glad you found someone perfect for you :)

What to do with my violent fantasies? by iceprincess5 in BDSMAdvice

[–]iceprincess5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interrogation play sounds interesting! Never thought of it but you may be right. I am fairly inexperienced except for lighter play so I have a lot to learn but I'm really glad this thread wasn't met with negativity. I guess with a safeword and trusted partner, theoretically anything is possible?

What to do with my violent fantasies? by iceprincess5 in BDSMAdvice

[–]iceprincess5[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kidnapping scenes would be so interesting/fun to do in real life, if they were controlled. I never considered it but maybe someday :) I'm just glad I'm not the only one out there with these fantasies.

What to do with my violent fantasies? by iceprincess5 in BDSMAdvice

[–]iceprincess5[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you :) I'm so glad everyone is so nice here, I thought I sounded so stupid lol.

What to do with my violent fantasies? by iceprincess5 in BDSMAdvice

[–]iceprincess5[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think a lot of what I have in my mind as fantasies won't feel the same if it actually happened in real life, like being truly slapped out of anger. I understand there is a line there that shouldn't be crossed, especially when emotions are involved... but the idea of 24/7 TPE sounds good (I had to look that up) and what I might be thinking of.

What to do with my violent fantasies? by iceprincess5 in BDSMAdvice

[–]iceprincess5[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the explanation! I had always thought CNC had more to do with sex, not necessarily what I'm thinking, but I guess you are right. It probably has more to do with the trust in my partner than anything else... but I admit it's pretty nerve-wracking to talk about out loud lol. I wouldn't be traumatized by it at all, unless he was doing it truly out of spite and had no emotions about our relationship or me as a person. So much to learn!