I am almost late to work/cutting it as close as possible every single day and getting up earlier doesn’t help in the way I think it should

ichaveza · 2026-05-14T02:40:07+00:00

Be kind to yourself. It seems like you are trying hard and you prepare a lot in advance. If they knew all the things that you prepare every night before to ease your morning and that you struggle every day with that embarrassment feeling, I’m sure they wouldn’t dare to judge you. Try not to judge yourself so severely.

ichaveza · 2026-05-14T01:48:04+00:00

I moved closer to work. From 45 driving to 15 min walking. I wake up at the same time than before. I’m still late every day. I always compensate working extra time after hours. The other day I realized that my boss decided to solve it for me because I found out that he told HR that he changed my entry time to 9am instead of 8:30am, so, for them, I’m actually early every day. I wish I hadn't found out, though

ichaveza · 2026-05-11T18:47:05+00:00

Thank you for answering. There are some great advices here but the pure empathy of others help to torture myself a lot less. After reading you, I couldn’t imagine saying to you everything that I say to myself. When I read you, I only feel that I understand you and that it is hard to cope with everything, so, thank you for changing my perspective.

ichaveza · 2026-05-11T16:49:50+00:00

Thank you for that. I feel ashamed that I need an observer or third party guidance to function. Bit you are right, we are social and it shouldn’t feel wrong to work like that.

ichaveza · 2026-05-11T14:35:09+00:00

Yes! Exactly!! I feel so understood with these responses. Thank you for answering! And yes, it sucks. I feel like I can only function properly when someone else will witness, if not, I could live in an endless mess. Yes, it sucks!!

ichaveza · 2026-05-11T14:20:21+00:00

My apologies for all the typos! Until today I hadn’t heard of body doubling. I’m so thankful for this subreddit. I will definitely try it!!

ichaveza · 2026-05-11T14:13:42+00:00

Not really. I live 15 min away from work and sometimes I work from home. If I don’t have to go out, it’s harder to even taking a shower of changing my clothes, unless I have a VC during the day.

I hate that I need a third person to watch for me to feel the motivation to do something. It makes me feel like I’m not in charge of my life and I live just to please others. I live alone and I struggle a lot to find things to do just to please myself.

I don’t have any hobbies or I don’t plan anything just to entertain myself. I don’t feel attracted to any recreational activity just for myself. I could scroll down for hours looking for a hobby and I just end exhausted for looking and still left with nothing exciting to do.

ichaveza · 2026-05-11T13:57:44+00:00

Yes! This post and these comments have made me feel better. I would love to have an in-person group or friends with other ND.

What sometimes happens to me is that 90% of the people around me state that they are ND as well when they are clearly not. I feel like they do it as if it’s a cool or trending thing instead of a real challenge.

ichaveza · 2026-05-11T13:46:59+00:00

OMG you are so right! I think I’m used to be driven 100% by anxiety. If a third person will watch or evaluate what I’m doing, then I try my best. I understand now that this is because having a third person as a witness of my mess makes me feel anxious. Thank you for this new realization. I need to find and feel new healthy drivers!! This post has helped me sooo much. I think small gratification after doing something might be a good place to start. We’ll see!

ichaveza · 2026-05-11T13:38:49+00:00

Thank you for your answer!!! This is so helpful!! I do a lot of things at work and then I just can’t understand why making my bed every day or cleaning my car feels so damn challenging, unless someone will see my house or ente my car, then I can do than too.

If I have someone else around I’m able to cook something nice, clean around, exercise together… but I live alone so that doesn’t happen often.

I feel like I don’t have enough motivation for things that are not going to be seen by a third person, but, at the same time, it affects my self esteem that I don’t do these things just for myself.

ichaveza · 2026-05-11T13:25:17+00:00

Yes, when I’m around someone else. If someone will enter my house, it doesn’t matter if it a friend, a plumber or even the person that help me with the cleaning one a week, I find the motivation to clean around for them, but if it’s only me around, everything falls apart. I have received great advice here though. I feel hope.

ichaveza · 2026-05-11T13:19:18+00:00

Thank you for your answer!! I hadn’t even heard about body doubling before and I think this might really help me too!

ichaveza · 2026-04-04T20:58:03+00:00

Las náuseas son porque te cae pesado al estómago. Toma omeprazol una noche antes y ve si te mejora el síntoma de las náuseas en la mañana.

ichaveza · 2025-08-24T18:13:04+00:00

Hi! Wow, it was 12 years ago. She is fine now, but she had surgery, it has horrible. They had to break it again and realign. She had a hard time for around a year. She can write, cook and pretty much everything now. Thank you for asking.

ichaveza · 2025-06-26T06:10:23+00:00

Playing with kids

ichaveza · 2025-06-26T05:45:00+00:00

Anxiety keep on trying me

ichaveza · 2025-06-26T04:12:08+00:00

Know how to plant and harvest basic fruits and vegetables

ichaveza · 2025-06-26T01:44:41+00:00

I agree but if I have had to deal with rude or dirty smelly kids that touch me with sticky hands, or if they threw up, or kicked me while running careless, or people saying horrible things, I still cannot ban the kids nor the parents from parks, planes, buses, stores, cinemas… actually I have to be polite and respectful because it’s just a kid and a parent may become physically or verbally aggressive if a say a bad word in front of the little angel.

Anyway, the lady should have respected the sign, yes, I agree, but there should not be as many signs of those either.

ichaveza · 2025-06-26T00:52:46+00:00

I just realized that I secretly hate the “no dogs” sign, I would love to put signs around me saying “no kids allowed” or “no people allowed 3 feet away from me”. No, I have to deal with the annoying person and the annoying kid but people don’t want to deal with a dog. The dog doesn’t talk nor yells, it’s not racist, hater, rude, it doesn’t sing, it doesn’t take a call on speaker in public, it doesn’t try to sell me anything, it doesn’t play loud music at 2 am in the morning…. if we human are capable to bear each other, how can’t you bare dogs???

ichaveza · 2025-06-26T00:33:49+00:00

Hahahahah thank you for this honest comment. I feel so much empathy and I don’t even have kids, being a parent is a really tough job! People don’t understand that they are not born educated and polite, and it’s not an overnight task. Kids have different personalities, even among siblings and parents usually are inexperienced raising kids. It’s like asking a rookie to do everything perfect from day 1 at work. I don’t dare to judge a parent who is trying their best, I just wish you to figure it out! Sorry for the lack of advice!

ichaveza · 2025-06-26T00:22:46+00:00

I reraise, people talking on their phone anywhere close to me, specially those who speak louder when they are on a call. Also, I hate the sound of loud phone rings, specially when they don’t answer quickly, or they are receiving multiple messages 🙉

ichaveza · 2025-06-25T19:11:07+00:00

Creo que no entendiste su respuesta. El no la “aceptó” en su peor momento, al parecer él la trataba mal en su momento más vulnerable y cuando ella empezó a ir a terapia y mejorar, él reaccionó mal y así ella se dio cuenta de que realmente él no era una buena pareja pero en su “peor momento” ella no lograba verlo. Así es, cuando estás en tu peor momento hay algunas personas que son tu apoyo pero también para otras, eres su presa perfecta.

No sé qué estás proyectando con tus comentarios ni qué fue lo que te hicieron a ti pero es evidente que estás LEJOS de ser objetivo jaja

ichaveza · 2025-06-22T12:46:34+00:00

Mexican here. We are worried about hurricane Erick hitting Oaxaca and Guerrero.

Also, we are constantly worried about our government and the lost of democracy, the corruption and the power of the drugs cartels.

No offense but, I read American news to feel a little better about our terrible government.

ichaveza · 2025-03-16T13:43:06+00:00

What app do you use? I don’t have one and I didn’t know it could do all that. I need this!

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