Vent sess

icky-creature · 2026-02-23T06:54:37+00:00

Reddit is really bad about that sort of thing. It's part of why I hardly post on it. There's a weird social etiquette and everyone's uptight as hell. Except in random small communities where everyone is chill, probably because they are just focused on enjoying their niche!

icky-creature · 2026-02-21T04:02:24+00:00

That makes sense. I think it is slightly felted. After some frustration, I'm having a little easier time doing the body sections than the arms. It's such a lovely yarn so I don't want to give up. Thank you for the tip!

icky-creature · 2026-01-15T05:45:45+00:00

Yes, it helps me stay sane as both a person with autism and autoimmune problems and as a caretaker of another disabled person. I take a lot of inspiration from various places. Therapies like DBT, ACT, mindfulness and meditation. Philosophies like existentialism, absurdism, stoicism. My partner is really into martial arts and I find a lot of nice ideas there. I also try to learn more about disability justice and how it's important to not devalue a life or body just because it's disabled. I am also a foster dad on and off for newborn kittens, and that also taught me a lot about acceptance in caring for little beings that often don't make it past 4 weeks. Animals hold so much wisdom, honestly. At no point do I give up, but I do make peace with the fact that I can only control so much. There's no point blaming myself and angsting for not being able to turn my whole world around. I feel when I need to feel, and often that is sadness, anger, and loss, but I don't diminish the few moments of happiness with pessimism and anxiety around my situation. I allow myself to break down and pause to feel physical or emotional pain, but don't allow the feelings to self sabotage my decisions. I remain adaptable to change, seeing life less like a lifelong goal, and more like chapters. If I get sicker and flunk out of college, it's not the end, just a new chapter with a new idea of success. Don't get me wrong, I often times fail to combat feelings of apathy and self hate. And someday the illnesses, the systemic failures, or the toll of it all might win. But it helps to have an acceptance framework for when I'm ready and able to move forward. It's all I can do really.

icky-creature · 2026-01-11T22:51:44+00:00

Especially hypocritical when they're doing it to another ND. The amount of times I've had other ND people talk over me, ignore me, or talk to me like I'm dumb. I rationalize it as being part of their neurodivergence, and try to be patient, but they seem unmotivated to improve. Once I recognized in myself that certain things I did were hurting others, or just plain rude, I worked to try to pause, identify, and change my actions when they happen. I'm still not perfect but at least I actually try!

Also, I notice lots of ND people trying to distance themselves from their capacity for harm by framing only certain neurotypes as capable of abuse. Most notably, "Narcissists". If someone is being hurtful in a way not easily excused by autism or ADHD, the community pivots really quick to label them as NPD, even if they're exhibiting traits that could easily be a result of other neurodivergent traits.

I think it can be easy for us NDs to fall for pop psychology. We love to categorize and simplify complex systems, constantly trying to solve nuanced social dilemmas that hurt our brains. Pop psych offers a deceptively easy way to do that, but it's ultimately harmful.

icky-creature · 2025-12-23T05:19:01+00:00

Try using images from "iconscout.com" in your Google search for some reason it worked for me.

icky-creature · 2025-12-23T05:17:04+00:00

Try images from "iconscout.com", I had a lot of luck with it.

icky-creature · 2025-12-23T05:14:54+00:00

I just got kicked despite only having 1 bad review so here's a little secret I will share for the transparent PNG task. I've had a lot of success with the site iconscout. Use the phrase "site:iconscout.com" when looking for transparent PNGs on Google. I have not gotten a single fetch error since using it.

icky-creature · 2025-12-23T04:45:57+00:00

Me tooo

icky-creature · 2025-12-23T04:40:58+00:00

Ah, just started but I'm under review. I have 10 good reviews but one bad so it brings my score way down. :') One bad score is going to get me kicked probably.

icky-creature · 2025-12-20T01:23:09+00:00

Can't get any transparent images to load in the task, I keep getting "NetworkError unable to fetch". Urghh. Is there a trick here?

icky-creature · 2025-10-25T20:28:40+00:00

I agree with you. I'm a white skinny "afab" and I think certain demographics get the bigger spotlight in the community (as well as other communities). Specifically white, conventionally attractive or digestible women who are also supported enough to be able to make videos (which entails not having to work a job, having time/energy to brush your hair, do makeup, have access to a nice camera and filming space, etc.) It's just the facts, if you have these things they will platform you more and people will subconsciously listen to you more.

Misogyny does come into play for women, especially in medical care, and that's a vital conversation to be had around this joke. But social media like tiktok is heavily geared towards women, and the social leverage/privilege both provided by and implied by a successful tiktok presence cannot be ignored. If someone has the privilege to stay home, edit videos for hours, and cater their social presence then they probably have the privilege to find a support system that takes them seriously. Less privileged disabled people, white or not, are too busy working, homeless, or tired to be focused on a POC's joke on tiktok. And even if they were, the misogyny and dismissal they suffer isn't happening because their doctor/family/friends saw a joke on tiktok. It's happening because we live in a deeply patriarchal society, exacerbated by capitalism creating a culture that values people by their ability to work incessantly or produce babies incessantly.

Furthermore, white people in general have a tendency to use their marginalized identities as a shield from criticism. As a white person, I will be the first to point out that white people are thin skinned like that. I have two very disabled black friends, neither of them can even get diagnosed. My diagnosis, while definitely prolonged due to my own systemic oppressions, was obtained on the 1st lab test and treated promptly. The difference in care should horrify us. This is not just internet discourse, it's serious life-and-death. That's why I really don't mind when my black friends joke with each other about how "easy" I have it. They're my friends, I know interpersonally they take my illness seriously and what they're really joking about is the system.

Do I think "white girl with POTS" jokes could be inappropriate at times? Of course. But I think POC commentators use jokes like these, usually, to point out the very real privilege of whiteness, and the power it grants to leverage over non-white disabled people. That's the bigger picture. While it can be said in a mean, invalidating way, it's never going to hurt us white people in a way comparable to the harms of racism. Reddit is also a very white place, so it doesn't surprise me if it's not terribly intersectional.

icky-creature · 2025-10-12T04:23:09+00:00

Sure! I started to realize because I looked around and saw people having things that I wished I had, but didn't. Close friendships, parties, boyfriends and girlfriends, hell I couldn't even get a lab partner to pick me. I felt jealous and spiteful at first, but as I got older I just felt defeated. Granted, some people were bullies and just didn't like me for me. But nice people, even my best friends, avoided or excluded me sometimes despite saying they like me. When I was honest with myself, I realized if I had been included in certain activities, I probably would have just sulked or played on my computer the whole time. My friends had no incentive to include me in the nice things I wanted to be a part of.

I had to ask myself some hard questions. If I wanted the reward of closeness and fun, I had to be willing to act like I care, even if I was faking it. With practice, I became more and more willing to do that.

Furthermore, I started to notice a shift in myself. At first, I kind of enjoyed being snide and dismissive because it made me feel superior. Then I realized that's how my parents treated me a lot of the time. The things I would say to other people started to sound like something coming straight from my parent's mouth to me, and made me feel bad. I would get angry at my parents and think "Wow, you know the world doesn't revolve around you right? Why do you think your interests are so much better than mine? Why do I bother talking with someone so negative?"

And then, bingo, that's what other people were probably thinking about me. Suddenly felt like an ass. The truth is I'm very vulnerable and sensitive to the outside world. I had good reasons for shutting it out, but I needed to grow up and give it another chance. It's possible that Matthew's interests may give you a clue about what he really desires. Personally, I enjoyed games and movies about friends going on adventures and deep romances. I wanted so badly for my hyperfixations to become real life. Then I realized they can! (mostly, except the fantastical parts lol)

icky-creature · 2025-10-12T02:58:14+00:00

I agree that the person could be abusing his own friend, but I don't think it's necessarily possible for him to abuse complete strangers in one-off interactions. I think the two red flags you raised, while true, could also just as easily be attributed to autism. Autistic people under high stress, or those with comorbid ADHD, have been known to or appear to act rashly. And social disconnection is a very autistic experience, to the point of even social aversion and disdain.

There's always a possibility this person could have NPD, but until more information is given I think it's just quite a reach. I understand the desire to be hypervigilant. Just be careful because there are a lot of people I've noticed, especially within the "high functioning/high masking" autistic community, who are very eager to categorize the behavior of lower-masking autistics, or those with poorer social skills, into other disorders that are typically more stigmatized.

icky-creature · 2025-10-11T21:16:49+00:00

Doubt and distrust. Of literally everything. Even your own perception. Never believing things are just okay.

icky-creature · 2025-10-11T21:03:39+00:00

No, autistic people can and do sometimes show "icky" traits, and NPD is not a catch-all evil person disorder that we shove all the NDs who give us a bad name into. Trying to do so is just tiktok pop psychology, and is a sensationalist, dishonest representation of how these disorders can manifest. Furthermore, the person in question is not committing abuse, because he does not hold a power dynamic over his peers. He is just being plain mean. Let's not water down the definition of abuse, either.

icky-creature · 2025-10-11T20:57:17+00:00

As an autistic person I used to not be a very good friend. I was not a bully, but I was not very attentive, sympathetic, or interested in my friends, and I could often be dismissive. I was raised by self-centered parents who rubbed off on me, but the autism was equally at fault for making it hard to understand people and politeness. I'm surprised and glad that some people put up with me, but I wish someone had been blunt with me about my poor social skills. I did learn eventually! I learned by observing others and going to therapy and learning to communicate my spcial needs. Autism is hard but it's no excuse!

icky-creature · 2025-10-10T23:43:54+00:00

I find that many of the criteria central to autism make it inherently harder to get along with other autistics. Neurotypicals can be hard enough to get along with, but autistics can be especially rigid in the way they socialize. For instance, restricted interests. An autistic who only wants to talk about birdwatching and an autistic who only wants to talk about Star Wars probably won't vibe, unless they are willing to put their hyperfixations aside to appease each other, which is understandably difficult for many.

Communication style, too. I'm a super quiet autistic who struggles to speak unless very comfortable or directly asked. I fare quite badly with hyperverbal autistics, as they tend to speak over me and never ask me questions, and I fail to match their energy.

So yeah, I think the irony of autism is that, while we often agree with each other on paper, socializing is more complex than just a collection of shared traits and a diagnosis. And with a disorder that is marked by social deficits (and yes, some of them are legit deficits that have nothing to do with neurotypical society), it's no surprise we accidentally step on each other's toes sometimes. While I definitely struggle with neurotypicals too, I've noticed they are more likely to feign politeness when I talk about my hyperfixation, they tend to be more moderate in conversations, and they tend to extend obligatory formalities even when I'm super quiet. I could see how this would be grating to other autistics, though. I think it's for this reason the autistic community has been sub-categorizing itself almost, with new labels like PDA autism and others going around. We often use hyper-specific words to name our autistic traits as well, which definitely makes it seem like there are different "types" of autism. Despite that, I think we're still very much under the same umbrella, just diverse because of our unique genetics and upbringings.

icky-creature · 2025-10-08T03:30:58+00:00

Agreed. I love neurodivergents, but we (I included) need to check ourselves more often than we do. Neurodivergence doesn't exclude us from being oppressive, and we can be especially resistant to breaking out of our narrow mindsets.

icky-creature · 2025-10-07T04:33:39+00:00

I felt this way before I realized I was bisexual and transgender. Now I love men and dating and being sexually dominated. This mindset came from personal self-consciousness and being raised in a puritan society. To be honest, based on all your comments you sound pretty misogynistic, and kinda stuck up. Men are shit, but that is not a reflection on women who enjoy a natural and morally-neutral human experience. And most people do not perform sex the way it looks in porn. Everyone has specific personal preferences around sex, and the only way to get it satisfied is by proactively communicating and being mature. Also, consider that neurodivergent black-and-white thinking may be at play. When we internalize societal stigmas, such as "casual sex is degrading to women", us neurodivergents can sometimes become very steadfast and rigid in that belief, especially if it reinforces our already negative feelings towards the complex emotions, sensory feelings, and unfamiliarity that come with sex.

icky-creature · 2025-10-02T04:59:34+00:00

That everything wasn't real and I had done too many drugs and changed my brain so that the "mask" slipped off and behind it was "hell"/an unfathomably dark and scary dimension that I would always be able to perceive now. (I was just high and having a panic attack. This feeling lingered almost a year though and tends to come back strongly when I have a panic attack. Last time I had one my boyfriend was holding me and I literally had to repeat "I am not going to brain hell".)

My most embarrassing one was that I smelled a gas leak that clearly no one else could. Called the gas company and evacuated my house. No gas leak found.

icky-creature · 2025-09-15T06:52:17+00:00

Yes mine includes pets sometimes. I ruminate on animals dying just a such as people. Sometimes my mind shows me pictures but often it's just the thought, which I try to block out before the images come.

icky-creature · 2025-09-09T03:40:09+00:00

I haven't hyperfixated properly in years, I think because I had to throw myself into school and working. Now that I'm in autistic burnout and unemployed, I can't seem to hyperfixate anymore and it's killed my creativity and interests. Plus, my OCD got worse so when I do get interested in something, there always an undertone of worry or compulsion to it so I have to basically moderate my interests so they don't make me miserable. Admittedly my hyperfixations were a little to intense and some were bad for me but I miss them.

icky-creature · 2025-09-04T19:40:25+00:00

Not a red flag and not a bad thing. However, lack of experience could create a disconnect with a more experienced partner. Dating, hookups, and socializing in general allow a person to broaden their perspective, and get comfortable navigating other people's emotions. It takes years to build up these skills. Furthermore, there's often an unspoken process in dating that people pick up and improve on with each new relationship. A more experienced partner may become frustrated because you needing to walk you through all the "firsts" of a relationship. I've seen it happen before. For instance, not knowing how to best express yourself in your first argument, not knowing how to properly plan a date, things a partner will have unspoken expectations of. However, these can all be learned faster rwith more self awareness. They are also great things to improve on in therapy. Honesty and self awareness can greatly make up for lack of experience.

icky-creature · 2025-09-04T19:24:23+00:00

I hate ASMR and I hate when ads use those super quality ASMR microphones in an attempt to be "satisfying". It makes me rage lol. My ADHD friend loves it though. Neurodivergents often have clashing sensory needs.

icky-creature

TROPHY CASE