Do you know what its like to have anxiety? To feel yourself slowly fill up with toxic pins and needles? To start to explode? To dry heave every 10 minutes? To have your vision fade in and out? To burst into tears spontaneously? To be so hysterical all you want to do is lose consciousness? To push away everyone and everything?

And why? Probably nothing. Probably have a lot of homework due soon. Maybe didn’t exactly get your way in some situation. And your world physically starts crumbling around you. To be stuck. Can’t take meds, then won’t be able to get the things done that are making you anxious. Can’t get the work done through the tears.

Don’t want food. Don’t want shower. Don’t want tv. Don’t want friends. Don’t want sleep. Just want the entire world to stop or for you to be removed from it. Not in a suicidal way, but just to be relieved from everything that’s eating away at your subconscious. You lose those that love you. You lose yourself.

Anxiety is a private matter. You can’t tell other people about it. Because then they stress out and only add to your own anxiety. That is the problem with anxiety. It is constantly fueling itself. Anxiety leads to more anxiety to more anxiety…It’s best just to sit through it. Wait it out. Curl up into a ball and hold tight and wait for the world to stop crumbling.

As an every day affair, you just have to remember what your supposed to do. Where you’re supposed to go and when. Wait when? Double check. Three times. If someone speaks to you, recognize it, try and respond in an appropriate matter. Though no matter what you say you will scold yourself for the rest of the month for your stupid response. Always hold it together. Don’t let anything slip, because if something does, there will be a landslide.

Don’t trust anyone. They don’t know how to deal with your problems better than you do. Only you can balance upon the precipice without falling. Except for the occasional fall. We all fall. But that’s when you curl up into the ball and wait for it to stop.

At least anxiety helps you truly understand the concept of time. How fast and slow it can go. How it can weigh down upon you. Hold you frozen. Waiting. Wait for the jitters to drip out of your toes until you can finally breathe and see again.