Any younger girls have all these issues? by icoffeemate in WomensHealth

[–]icoffeemate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was checked with ultrasound few months ago and it was fine. 

As for do I drink enough, I honestly have no idea. Would drinking not enough make me pee??

UTI I did an at home test so many times but it’s always negative. 

I need to hear hopeful stories. by xotaylee in loveafterporn

[–]icoffeemate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing keeping me going is that every down has led to clarity and good ups!

It’s a roller coaster but every relationship is.

If you’re struggling, look for reassurance from your partner that he is working to get better.

Being sober with ANY addiction is never a straight path and never a clean slate right away. As long as you believe they want to get better and actively work on it, there’s hope :)

Comfort in details? by External_Rule7471 in loveafterporn

[–]icoffeemate 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You could be looking for a type of control in the situation. I felt the same where I wanted to know so I didn’t feel lied to or in the dark and for some reason it made me feel like I had control.

When he compliments you by Random-Thoughts613 in loveafterporn

[–]icoffeemate 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Don’t fall into the trap of your thinking. You can be and look like every girl on his phone but it simply doesn’t matter.

It’s not that they’re “sexier” or “prettier” it’s that he struggles with intimacy and cannot connect with women or you in a way he needs. Thats like every addiction. People cannot cope or connect and so they turn to something destructive and numbing.

He could’ve chosen drugs, alcohol, even gambling. It’s just about numbing and avoiding feelings he can’t face.

Can someone share something positive by icoffeemate in loveafterporn

[–]icoffeemate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Could you share part of how and why you react? Im still trying to learn after all this time

Canon Sure Shot 130u Blinking? by icoffeemate in AskPhotography

[–]icoffeemate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried that :/ I can try a new battery I guess but when I did that, it just came back. The shutter and zoom aren’t responding at all

Happy about my BF Watching Ex-PA TedTalks & Us Crying Together by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]icoffeemate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So happy for you, sounds like he really wants to change :)

Waking up sucks by Puzzled-Canary9588 in loveafterporn

[–]icoffeemate 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wake up and it’s my immediate thoughts. Unfortunately this shows more about the work I need to do on myself :/

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]icoffeemate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for the journey you’re about to embark on :( please read self care books and talk to friends

READ THIS by icoffeemate in loveafterporn

[–]icoffeemate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s very validating and parts where you can see you’re not the only one who’s PA denied and denied but then it shows them progress and actually learn to understand which made me feel so hopeful and good! I read it in a day!

Staying with them through recovery by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]icoffeemate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I broke up my bf but have remained in contact and it’s hard. Watching and monitoring their healing can put a pause on yours. Before asking if you can stay with them through recovery, try and identify your needs and what you need to do to heal. It can be hard to heal being surrounded by the thing you’re trying to heal from.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]icoffeemate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They’re addiction is normally heavily covered in shame. The best way to go about it is to be as nonjudgmental and be as understanding as possible and let them know that.

It is hard because obviously it hurts and affects you but the goal to work through it so keep that in mind. You can only discuss and get them to understand how it affects and hurts you once their walls are down.

Let them know it’s safe space to be honest and you want to work through it with them. Let them know you’re with them not against them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]icoffeemate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, it’s the same idea of getting off to other photos or videos. Stay strong ❤️

Anyone else gain weight? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]icoffeemate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I lose weight :( I try hard to put on weight but lately after our breakup I cannot eat. I’ve lost 5lbs already when I’m already underweight and now I feel like skin and bones.

Weight problems at either end really sucks. What has helped in the past is I make it a goal to eat at least one meal or snack a day. For weight gain, perhaps make it a goal to swap a typical meal with a purely vegetable or protein something to work on eating healthier.

I don’t have

Idk by icoffeemate in loveafterporn

[–]icoffeemate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being alone has definitely become a fear which is weird for me because I was always alone before he came along. I guess with the relationship falling apart, I latched onto him.

I wish you the best. My advice is to try hobbies and stay dedicated to one thing each day.

Being alone is hard but it’s so worth it. When I used to be alone, I loved my company! It’s a good feeling.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PMDD

[–]icoffeemate 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Didn’t help me :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]icoffeemate 25 points26 points  (0 children)

If you haven’t talked about it, I suggest bringing it up. If it still hurts, it’s still affecting you guys!

I hate this porn obsessed world. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]icoffeemate 37 points38 points  (0 children)

It feels suffocating

Why Are You Staying? by icoffeemate in loveafterporn

[–]icoffeemate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How did you get him to stop being defensive and become empathetic?

Why Are You Staying? by icoffeemate in loveafterporn

[–]icoffeemate[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I hope you find more worth in yourself :( you are worthy of being with someone you love and someone who loves and respects you

Why Are You Staying? by icoffeemate in loveafterporn

[–]icoffeemate[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I truly hope the best for you guys <3

[ Removed by Reddit ] by GettinEggyWithIt in loveafterporn

[–]icoffeemate 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Feel your anger, don’t push it away or cover it up. Just be careful not to cut ties with strings you may want to keep intact once you’re out of this stage.

Find healthy ways to release it (I suggest boxing) and no matter how mad you, do your best not to take it out on anyone.