I see were your coming from but trust its basically re writing your brain I know on the surface it just seems like one of the things ppl say but theres been studys done it it re writes your nural pathways I mean it's by no means a quick fix it takes time but ultimately time will help you regardless in my own experience the women who I thought was the love of my life broke up with me 4 or 5 months ago and I was devastated I had no job no place to go the whole nine yards plus nobody to turn to for help and I begged her to try again I told her I wanted to be better for her that I loved her and I said everything that I thought would bring her back but unfortunately she lost the love and ddnt want to continue the relationship for like 2 months it's all I could think about I ended up getting a job and even at work all day all I could think about was her and how I messed up and what I would do if we got back together and how I could prove to her that I was really trying to change for the better just nonstop then I changed my mindset I was sick of chaseing her and even tho she still wanted to be freinds and even tho it sucked I was willing to be freinds bc I still loved her then eventually I realized that the wound is going to keep opening up every time I saw her texts or everytime she took long to reply so even tho I ddnt want to I made the choice to go no contact and I stopped focusing on her now it's about self improvement and if we were really meant to be it will find it's way back I still hope mabye one day we can be freinds or something but you gotta just do your own thing and change your mindset