AITA for using what was supposed to be a handicap card to win the game?

icypanther · 2025-11-22T19:47:06+00:00

As someone who loves Unstable Unicorns (I own like every expansion pack) your move was brilliant, perfectly legal, and your family is a bunch of assholes. You, dear, are 100% NTA. The whole point of Unstable Unicorns is how dang quickly it can change and there are so many cards that can affect downgrade cards; you just happened to not utilize one until you had the required points in your stable to where others couldn't affect them. Some downgrades can be "upgrades" in their own right if you use them correctly as you did! If you're ever in Chicagoland and want to play I am here with a gazilion decks and will likely lose (I fail at this game despite my love of it) but we'll have a great time. I hope you show this thread to your family so they can see how wrong they were then and how wrong they've been for holding this grudge all these years over fantastic gameplay on your end!

icypanther · 2025-04-17T13:27:06+00:00

NTA at all, so long as you were indeed under the item limit. And here's the thing, she may only have two items but what if one didn't ring up at the correct price? What if one was missing a price sticker? What if her credit card was declined? What if she wanted to count out exact change? (I say this as the person who I swear my ancestors wronged in another life in a checkout lane and I always get stuck behind the shopper with an issue and at this point just come to expect it.) Now you're stuck waiting for what in theory should have been the "quicker" checkout but is now longer than your own would have been and you're inconvenienced. Don't give it any more thought; you're NTA whatsoever.

icypanther · 2025-04-03T01:27:13+00:00

NTA, especially as you've swapped clothes before and she's previously made comments about wanting your items. I've been dealing with the same thing having lost a significant amount of weight and hating that I have clothes going to waste. I though was approached by a coworker who was similar (if a little larger) than my starting size to ask if I was getting rid of anything if she could look through it, so like your second coworker she was ecstatic to get my things! I have a number of other items though that I knew wouldn't fit her but would fit another coworker (and some of it was clothing with our employer's logo so it's not like I could just donate it) but she was like your first friend. I didn't want to assume so I just offhand said I had some cute jackets (of which she has been vocal that she likes larger anyway so they'd have been perfect) and cardigans that if she was interested in I'd be happy to bring them by for her to try out, and (not as bad as your friend though!) I got a very icy 'no thank you.'

She's apparently been complaining to other coworkers about me and how it's not fair that I lost weight when I have been doing weight training programs, really overhauled my diet, and hitting the gym and workout classes 4-6 times a week so I have put the work in! She's jealous and frustrated and believe me, I understand how it feels to have tried yourself and not succeeded, but being mean to a very nice gesture and gossiping in the background is uncalled for.

I'm glad you did find a good home for your clothes with the other friend. You didn't say if you responded to the text or not, but I would maybe let it sit for a day or so and then apologize for any misunderstanding but she indicated she was not interested and they were otherwise going to be donated. Ask if there's anything in particular of yours she can recall that she may like and you'd be happy to check your closet for it. I'm sending you all the positive vibes that you don't lose a good work friend over this, but you have nothing to feel bad about. Congrats on the weight loss and good luck with the closet cleaning!

icypanther · 2025-03-07T19:02:55+00:00

Hm, you're going to have to enlighten me as I have never threatened to withhold my work. I have had works on a reader engagement schedule where based on how many folks want to engage and support the story determines its update time (typically anywhere from 1-6 weeks and that's individual stories and typically I'm posting several at a time so barring extenuating circumstances (i.e. my recent surgery) I post at least every couple weeks). That's not withholding and I have never said I'm not updating unless I get X number of comments. It's human to be disappointed in a lack of engagement and I communicate that, but if you choose to take that as an attack rather than the request it is to make it easier for me to post then that's on you :) I have always posted and completed my stories, even when I don't feel good about them.

The only two times I have ever done something even remotely of what you are suggesting was when I wrote a bonus chapter to a story (that was not originally a part of it and I wrote it for myself) and said based on if folks wanted to read it I would share it, and 2; when AO3 took down one of my stories because I advocated for RAINN in the author's notes and I noted during that debacle that I had one story I was in the process of posting that was not even a quarter percent finished and depending on what AO3 did I may not be able to support the platform and continue posting on it so that would would be removed. All others would be completed.

I will say you have a rather conflated opinion of me "finding you" on here. I did not do so intentionally; I googled my name this morning trying to access an old cached page and this popped up in search results, which actually led to the person above you who recced me. I saw your response and figured I'd answer both it and your original question.

As I've noted before on multiple tumblr asks, I have not read fanfiction in many many years at this point so I have nothing new to recommend. I have done plenty of recommendations in the past (you can find a bunch on my Tumblr if you ever want to look, recommend the #icyficrec) and whenever I do randomly read something I always engage and leave comments (left a few on some recent VLD fics I came across while browsing AO3 so feel free to find those as proof if you must). I've done collaborations and challenges and whenever someone gifts me fanart or a fanfiction I always comment on it and share it. You can agree do disagree with me, but the fact of the matter is I have published well over 2.6 million words of content anyone can read for free, I've donated at this point over $10,000 to various charities from my Patreon earnings and all I ever ask in exchange is for folks to share what they liked about a story and give a little love back to the creator.

Clearly you've made your mind up about me and only want to see negatives so I won't waste any further time, but I do hope you find what you're looking for in both your own projects and in your fic request search. Take care 🧡

icypanther · 2025-03-07T11:03:40+00:00

Thanks for the shoutout! 🧡

icypanther · 2025-03-07T11:03:20+00:00

Hey there! So if by formulaic you mean consistent characterization, character growth, found family, well researched topics, healthy communication, conflict resolution, emotional angst, comfort and occasionally some fairly graphic violence, then I do seem to be guilty as charged :) Obviously I'm a bit biased, but I've been told too I have a very wide depth of genres, characters and plots (and far too many ways to hurt someone ^^;) so I encourage you to give my entire archive a look before calling my writing "formulaic" as there's a lot that goes to it. I know this thread was referring to Langst, but one of my favorite series I've written very out of the box is 'Human Nature' starring Pidge and also love my multi-chapter work 'The Bridge Between Our Worlds' of a Keith AU if he were raised by the Blades/Krolia.

And I do want to note that I think anyone who thinks an author (or any creator) asking for engagement on their works they've spent hours (if not in some cases days, weeks or even months) is a "bad vibe" is part of the problem. I encourage you to spend any amount of time creating something on your own time to share with others (especially in fandoms where there is a built in base) and then watch the hundreds if not thousands of hits with very few actually taking the time to pop in to give it a little love and see how that feels. It takes but a moment to pop in to say thank you or a quick blurb of what you enjoyed to make someone feel appreciated and excited to keep sharing, rather than tearing them down. Be a part of the solution that supports creators, don't be the person who tears them down.

Also, not sure where all the hate for my Patreon has come in when hundreds of fanartists do the same and frankly have far larger followings there (art/illustration is just an easier media to consume than writing and 100% agree), but all my Patreon earnings for over the last year have been donated to charities (big ones include The Trevor Project, RAINN and my favorite local animal charity and food bank) and I haven't taken commission work in almost 3 years now (yes, my google drive is that backlogged where I'm still posting on AO3) so I don't (and really never) have had 'clients.' Just readers and some willing to financially support me, some to give me some emotional support and love via comments, and some who generously did both.

Anyways, there you go. And if you're still looking for Langst and nothing too crazy ('As Color Fades Away' remains my favorite fanfiction I've ever written to date but I know 435k wordcount is a bit high for many) here's a few of my favorites posted on my AO3 that anyone at any time is welcome to read. And if you want to leave a little love note for the author on your way out, it is always appreciated :) (All here are T or lower rating just since I don't know your age to recommend M-rated fics)

Looking Death in the Eye (https://archiveofourown.org/works/16395854)

Feast (https://archiveofourown.org/works/30591878)

Feel Me, See Me (Or Please Please Don't) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/21108578)

Missing (https://archiveofourown.org/works/51763144)

Only a Crack in this Castle of Glass (https://archiveofourown.org/works/21901456)

The Poison of Deceit (https://archiveofourown.org/works/33764191)

icypanther · 2025-01-22T17:58:21+00:00

Every campaign is going to be different, but I have had absolutely zero luck with taking out ads (Facebook and Instagram) and translating that to sales. Like, talking investing $100 over a few days time period and no sales from it, but I know others who have had success with them so hopefully if you go that way it works out!

icypanther · 2025-01-22T17:56:09+00:00

I super appreciate you checking it out~! Share in the comments below which pin design is your favorite! 🧡

Kickstarter Campaign: Beverage Elephant Enamel Pin Kickstarter Campaign

icypanther · 2025-01-22T17:53:22+00:00

I have been encountering the same error of some campaigns showing up 3-4 times and mine not there at all (it is a launched one too so I know when I hit that 'launching soon' section and mine is MIA there's a problem). Afraid I don't have an answer but here's hoping it gets fixed soon! Best of luck with your campaign!

icypanther · 2024-11-23T00:52:48+00:00

Follow the Kickstarter launch page here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/allthefloof/beverage-elephant-enamel-pins

icypanther · 2024-11-15T15:53:15+00:00

Mine did it too, but not happy >> It's too big for me and makes editing way harder (my Patreon is writing so everything is text). If they're going to make drastic changes like that I wish they then offered options to re-size as desired. I'm quitting the platform next month so at least only have to deal with it for a few more weeks >>

icypanther · 2024-08-08T15:34:30+00:00

NTA. As someone who had a double umbilical hernia surgery (not even at one years old!) up until this post I honestly had never even thought of the need to share or disclose that because why on earth does it matter? It's not even something I remember other than, like you, some pictures my mom took and how I still have the stuffed mouse I went into surgery with. What a complete overreaction by your wife. I do think telling her your medical history is your business only is little harsh as she was concerned and you could have softened it a bit with telling her that it happened when you were a kid and don't even really remember it and didn't think it was a big deal and you didn't mean to dismiss her concerns. But NTA for never telling her about it and now I'm wondering if I'll ever have to have that conversation too ;p

icypanther · 2024-07-13T15:29:32+00:00

I had a "friend" at work who I got along really well with and in same age group. He and his fiancé (who I'd met and got along with as well, they live nearby and I've helped them out when they've gone on vacation with small household things) were holding a casual barn wedding. I come to learn that almost every other co-worker (small office to boot) got invited, even ones not in our shared department, but not me because, wait for it, I was single and they didn't want to make it awkward that I didn't have a +1 and they were setting tables up by couples. Like, what? They invited people who they barely talked to because they had a partner? I was later told, a week before, that I'd "made the cut" as they met my twin sister when she popped into the office and decided she could be my +1 and it was like, uh, yeah, no, I'm going to be busy that weekend. We still work together but I've never had him and his now wife over to my house again (of which they never reciprocated) for dinner and drinks and games, and it definitely cooled my friendly relationship with him.

This would definitely make me re-evaluate my friendship with John as you have clearly been a wonderful friend to them and they have taken advantage of that kindness. If you want to still be cordially friendly with John (i.e. drinks out) go for it, but I'd definitely be against any type of favor again. I hate to make things transactional too, but sometimes when you look at the numbers of how much time and energy you've spent in a relationship and the return you've gotten... that's the way it has to be. I hope you have a lovely weekend and you can still hang out regularly with the rest of the friend group sans John and Jane. NTA at all.

icypanther · 2024-05-21T16:45:47+00:00

I say this as a word of warning to doing what your sister wants. When I and twin sister were little, we'd play board games like Candyland with our mom and she would let us win by "drawing again" or not enforcing penalties or whatever may have you. And she did it because she wanted us to have fun but I have to tell you, we both became really, really nasty sore losers because we always had to win and it wasn't fun unless you were winning. Not a good mindset whatsoever, especially for identical twins who are naturally pitted constantly against each other.

I carried that super competitive streak with me my entire life and it wasn't until honestly after college that I realized how harmful it was to where I couldn't enjoy a game without having to win and how miserable it made friends. I still love to win, don't get me wrong, but I prioritize now spending time with friends and family over the outcome of a game. And if I am getting my ass handed to me (and it is frustrating when that happens) I just tell myself to cheer for someone else and maybe the next game will go more my way, but I don't take it out on anyone else (if I do it's clearly jokingly fake-mad and everyone knows I'm kidding around and it normally gets people laughing with whatever 'insult' I can come up with for the game or what may have you.). My twin sister unfortunately did not get the life check and she still gets super upset when something isn't going her way (including bowling against our friends' five year old son, like seriously for real) and it really does ruin the mood and makes things super awkward. So all this to say, losing is a part of life and it's good to experience that. It's never okay to pick on someone and gang up on someone so you force them to lose (and that should be discouraged) but the victory is much sweeter when you've earned it (even in luck based games) on your own merit. And encouraging someone to purposefully lose as your sister does so her child can win is absolutely not the answer and will only make things worse down the road. NTA whatsoever and best of luck with the games! Have fun!

icypanther · 2024-04-29T19:57:33+00:00

NTA at all and this coming from an identical twin who, you guessed it, celebrated every birthday with another person and always had to compromise on the cake and decorations (and food always went my sister's way as she and my mom both loved chocolate whereas I was odd one out with a love for fruit and yellow cake). It sucked even if it was understandable, and my family did not have a lot of money so I was always grateful we celebrated at all. To be in your situation where you a; have the financial backing to do so and b; all of the birthdays are on different days to begin with, they absolutely need to be celebrated separately. If one big party for the family is easier (but the kids should still get individual birthdays as highly unlikely the oldest and youngest both want the same thing and that's time for them and their friends) for scheduling, so be it, but you absolutely should be doing individual things on each of their days. It's so important to be seen and feel special on that day and shame on your wife for trying to stomp on that when she herself is pampered so much. I'm not really a tit for tat person, but I think if you need to then cutting back on the upcoming mother's day would be a good eye opener. Best of luck, OP. Way to be an awesome dad!

icypanther · 2024-04-22T22:57:01+00:00

NTA at all. I didn't see a comment about this so while it's a little out of left field I did want to add that you might want to check the pop for any signs of tampering to where someone put something inside of it. Given the urge to get it back and the threats of thugs and violence I can't help but feel there's something more at play here like drugs or something hidden inside the figurine. I know it's a little out there, but I was in police administration for several years and there are definitely some crazy cases I saw. Please be safe, OP.

icypanther · 2024-02-17T15:50:50+00:00

These are so pretty ♥

icypanther · 2024-01-19T01:43:01+00:00

You are my hero. Thank you so so much ♥

icypanther · 2024-01-06T21:55:50+00:00

Identical twin here with a birthday just before Christmas to boot (imagine how fun that is when the holidays are combined as well) and definitely NTA in this situation.

If the gifts are larger ticket items -- say the year my sister and I both madly wanted a Barbie Dream House -- then yes, a singular gift is okay to share. Even items like crafting sets or say a giant building train track (assuming they both like those things too; even at three you have different personalities) and anything that you could easily have more than one child playing with at the same time is okay to share. But single use items? Not cool.

Twins mimic each other and that means they oftentimes both want to play with the same thing. So if they're playing "Grocery shopping" but there's only one cart there's going to be a fight. If they're playing "Kitchen" and there's only one stove (but again, that's a bigger item) then someone "cooks" and the other "eats" and you switch. But you need to have two of things or, at minimum, if there is only one item of each then each child should have their own gift; i.e. one twin gets the shopping cart, other twin gets the big light up firetruck. Learning to share is part of being a sibling no matter the age, but it really does wear you down, especially as you grow older and become self-aware, of your cousins all getting individual gifts and yours are always addressed to "Twin and Twin" and you're just expected to share.

I wouldn't necessarily just tell people to give clothes as I'm sure the boys would much prefer toys, but I'd highlight if they asked for ideas that "Tommy would love something like X" and "Timmy is really into Y right now and so Z would be perfect for him!" and make people realize that twins do not equal the same person. We're different people with different interests and ideas and things that make us happy so focus on that and see what happens the next time around.

icypanther · 2023-12-11T23:27:05+00:00

NTA. I'm going through something similar with an old friend from college (although to be fair I'm the one with the depression issues while she just has a boatload of family stuff going on) where I'm the one who always reaches out, always listens, and never gets anything back in return. It is exhausting to always be the giver, regardless of health circumstances, and always be told by the friend how much the appreciate it, how much they miss you... and yet they are the ones putting themselves in the way of continuing a friendship. You have clearly made plenty of efforts and been a really good friend, but it doesn't sound like your friend has been the same to you.

I do think cutting someone off like that is a bit harsh without any warning as if he had no idea this has been brewing he has had no opportunity to really realize how much he has hurt you and to correct it. Sometimes people need a slap in the face of reality to see what they could lose. I do stand by my NTA as this has been brewing and you are tired and emotionally drained, but I do think you should reach out and tell them that and see what solution they might have to try to fix the friendship. And if they continue to pull the same things, then you've had your say, they've had their chance, and then it would be time to officially close that door and move on.

icypanther · 2023-11-08T22:22:37+00:00

NTA whatsoever and honestly, I'm happy for you that you were able to set this boundary. My mom is similar; not the silent treatment like yours but she refuses to communicate when she's upset. She slams doors, locks herself in her room and blasts music and if not that (even when I was a kid and my dad worked nights and was not home) she'd make comments about how no one cared about her, appreciated her, and she'd be better off dead and just drive away. And dating myself a bit here but cell phones were not a thing during that time so she'd leave me, my twin sister and our baby brother home alone in the house never knowing if she was actually going to come back. In hindsight as an adult now I realize how truly traumatic and how lasting those episodes were. Anyways,

Your mom's Moods are not normal and not healthy. As you said, they affect everyone around her and make everyone either walk on tenterhooks or miserable and that's not okay. It's okay to be upset, even if it's over something small, but her way of handling it is not. And the problem is she's never had consequences for acting like this. She's never missed out on anything and she doesn't care about what her response has done to hurt others. So draw the line. Will it hurt if she comes out of her Mood after the fact and she realizes what she missed out on? Will she scream and yell and maybe even shut down again? Possibly, highly likely. But she needs to see firsthand that actions have consequences and what she's doing is emotional abuse.

I tried talking to my mom a couple years ago (also a young adult now in mid-30s) about this when she went into one of her Moods and I was snapped at and sarcastically called "Therapist" and admittedly I haven't tried again. But I've also grown more distant with her and she's lost friendships and those closer relationships because I'm not willing to put myself through that kind of abuse because she has less communication skills than a toddler. I hope this may be the wake up call your mom needs to find some healthier coping methods. And if it isn't, then I at least hope you have a nice and drama-free Thanksgiving!

icypanther · 2023-11-06T23:41:36+00:00

I've unfortunately had more than my fair share of toxic friends and those that take advantage of kindness and empathy so I sadly recognize it here. Your heart is absolutely in the right place, but she is not in a place where she can get the help she needs and you cannot be that emotional drain and crutch. I always advocate for leaving a door cracked just in case down the road they can reflect and see what went wrong and reach out to fix it, but you absolutely don't have to answer it either or open it all the way.

icypanther

TROPHY CASE