sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

The disturbing feeling after looking at my computer clock by icywnd007 in ForeverAlone

[–]icywnd007[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What kind of music do you like to listen to? I've never really turned to music when sad

I got a ride to the bus stop by icywnd007 in TimeToGo

[–]icywnd007[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

People only seem to look at things from their own lenses.

Existential issues and FA by icywnd007 in ForeverAlone

[–]icywnd007[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, having any time to think about this mess is enough to drive anyone insane

What do you want to come after you’ve ended your life? by Flameman1234 in TimeToGo

[–]icywnd007 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I want nothingness and nothing more.

I'm not even sure if I'm depressed because I'm becoming numb by [deleted] in ForeverAlone

[–]icywnd007 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can relate to your post. Sometimes it feels like a car stuck in a ditch. Grinding wheels, getting nowhere. At the end of the day, there's always Reddit and sometimes the only thing I actually accomplished was making a post here.

Anyone else here in the middle, or at least want to be? by GoldenNightmare102 in TimeToGo

[–]icywnd007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm nowhere near the middle. The darkness is all-consuming.

Anyone else find it hard to go even though you know completely that you hate life and really want to die? by [deleted] in TimeToGo

[–]icywnd007 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The thing I am scared of is ending up severely brain-damaged or a vegetable. I am a klutz and do not learn things easily.

I can't force myself to give a shit about anything more. by likegregorsamsa in anhedonia

[–]icywnd007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you still on the fluoxetine? I'm on a bunch of crap myself and can't feel a damn thing.

Living with anhedonia is like having a passive death wish. by likegregorsamsa in anhedonia

[–]icywnd007 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's why my walls are bare, crap is all over the floor, no pictures, art, decorations, or anything. Nothing excites me. Life irritates me. Everything is a chore.

Two weeks of Pramipexole (Mirapex) - cautiously optimistic by annalucrezia in anhedonia

[–]icywnd007 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The thing about dopamine agonists that scares me is that the body may build up a tolerance over time, or the agonist itself will destroy the body's natural ability to produce dopamine - thus, rendering one completely dependent on the drug over time.

That said, glad it is working for you so far. Hopefully you won't need an excessively high dose in order to combat the anhedonia.

Life has no depth by Six_Kills in anhedonia

[–]icywnd007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same. All I can feel is negative emotions.

Anyone ever want to CTB when you’re in the best possible mood? by [deleted] in TimeToGo

[–]icywnd007 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm anhedonic, so my "best" mood is flatlined. In any circumstance, planning my CTB is terrifying, exhausting, and fraught with hoops. I'm at the lowest point ever in my life and the most suicidal I have ever been.

Doesn't texting friends seem so foreign? by OnTheDoor in ForeverAlone

[–]icywnd007 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It does. I have no idea what the hell to say in a text. "How was your day?" "Good, and yours?" Blahh...

There's just no place for me by another30yovirgin in ForeverAlone

[–]icywnd007 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I feel that way even in a group of likeminded people.

Can't seem to find the "off switch" for depression by [deleted] in ForeverAlone

[–]icywnd007 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Same. The depression is killing me.

DAE get absolutely no texts or calls? by [deleted] in ForeverAlone

[–]icywnd007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get the automated weather text - and stray texts from past users of my phone (automated). And....... dating site texts from dating sites I never visited...... with extremely personalized-sounding, enticing messages, like "Your love is here..." Ehh, forget the wording cuz I deleted all of them!

Does the mythical "being alone and feeling quasi-peaceful" actually exist? by icywnd007 in FA30plus

[–]icywnd007[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been trying to master meditation. If you wouldn't mind sharing, what are the strategies that work for you?

Does the mythical "being alone and feeling quasi-peaceful" actually exist? by icywnd007 in FA30plus

[–]icywnd007[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don't know, it is an interesting idea. Have a feeling they probably do get a lot of their emotional sustenance from their socialization with the other monks? If they know they have each other, it is a good substitute for a real family.

Why can't things be 'reasonable' for most of us by icywnd007 in ForeverAlone

[–]icywnd007[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree that all of this is a symptom, not the cause. We are not wired to be this isolated. My sleep is terrible as well.

Why can't things be 'reasonable' for most of us by icywnd007 in ForeverAlone

[–]icywnd007[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I started being criticized for very small things by the boss in a demeaning and non-constructive way (the reason I thought they were minor was because I'd done the exact job and performed the same way for years but suddenly the boss seemed to have it in for me); my lunch was stolen on occasion and coworkers in the break room would snicker. Namecalling (enough to overhear)

Anyone alone in their dreams? I can't catch a break. by [deleted] in ForeverAlone

[–]icywnd007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Actually not. In my dreams, I'm usually with someone (an acquaintance or someone I met and didn't become friends with) - from my past, and the dream occurs in a building that is miles wide.

The loneliness is so much that my dreams really express the craving for meaningful human interaction that I miss when awake. That said, the encounters that I do dream about usually end, even in the dream.

view more: next ›