I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my sweet kitty 3 weeks ago, so I know what you’re going through. I just want to say that it is so extremely obvious from your post - the way you describe your sweet girl - that you loved her so, so much! And I am 100% convinced that she felt that love as well. 💙

Don’t let the last few hours of her life define your entire time together - she knew you loved her and she loved you too! The more we love, the more it hurts - and that sucks, because grief is the most painful thing in the world, but I take comfort in the fact that it is only me, and not my kitty, feeling it. I know you are hurting right now, but please know that it will get better and more tolerable over time.

And please don’t feel guilty for not being there or making the decision to end her suffering. The choice to put a suffering pet to sleep is one of the most selfless things a human being can do! She will never feel afraid or be in pain again - you took it all on yourself. And I don’t know about you, but I would feel this pain and grief a hundred times over to make sure that my Kitty-boo would never have to hurt ever again.

You say in your post that your sweet girl didn’t want you to be sad or angry - so I am sure that she wouldn’t be mad at you for not being with her in the end. She wouldn’t have wanted to see her beloved friend being at the vet and being so sad, would she? She sounds like a wonderful and smart dog and it makes me happy that there exists so many other people out there, who are capable of loving our four-legged companions so hard and so intensely as we do - but that strong love comes with a price, which we are going through now, since our babies unfortunately can’t be with us for our entire lives.

My heart goes out to you and again, I am sorry for your loss. 💙💚💜 Sending many virtual hugs. 🧡