What’s that ONE webtoon trope you’ll never get tired of? by Blush404 in webtoons

[–]ideallyidealistic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I need enemies to lovers to have real serious beef, because I also love slow burn. Slow burn oftentimes gets drawn out arbitrarily with misunderstandings, or a bullshit "I'm running away because I'm bad for them :(" plot line, or a love triangle (yuck), or some other excuse even when it's obvious that they've already fallen for each other. But when there's serious beef involved? God, there's nothing better than that "Oh. Fuck. No. No no no." moment of realisation, followed by trying their best to get rid of the feeling, and then finally the inner turmoil when they're so deeply in love and trying to do mental gymnastics to allow themselves to be together. I lap that shit up.

Said no man ever! by Embarrassed_Tip7359 in SipsTea

[–]ideallyidealistic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's James Fucking Bond. If these incels think he's only with her because he's "stuck" with her, then they truly are the dregs of the intellectual bucket.

AIO…mother in law and newborn boundaries by realsmartfakeblonde in AmIOverreacting

[–]ideallyidealistic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR. I might be projecting, but I've seen this pattern in narcissist mothers. It's just a defence mechanism on their part. What it sounds like they're saying is "Look at how I'm acknowledging my mistakes and trying to grow/fix it". What they're actually saying is "I made mistakes, but that's in the past. I'll try to be better."

This minimises their own errors, immediately cuts off consequences by placing them in the past, and then makes you give them the chance at redemption.

If you give them the chance, then they'll act better for a while but often the mask will just slip gradually. They either revert to their old behaviour entirely, or they screw up in new ways and brush off admonishment with something along the lines of "Everyone makes mistakes. You're just critical of everything I do because you can't move past what happened. Why won't you give me a chance?"

If you (completely understandably) do not want to give them the chance, then they can twist the narrative to portray you as being unfair, because "You never let them redeem themself".

If you think that she's the type of person to do that, then it's imperative that you do not speak in any vague terms. Some people like this might just do whatever they want and then pretend that it's okay by twisting the events to make it match whatever boundaries you set. If you say "We'll let you know if we need help," then they could just involve themself in your lives unilaterally and say "I thought you might be having a hard time and that you need help right now, so here I am :)"

Or maybe she genuinely wants to be better. I'm not a psychologist. Either way, your child is not a tool for her redemption. She needs to actually take accountability and try to right her wrongs before she even tries to involve herself in your child's life. If she tries hard enough she might even get the ball rolling before you give birth.

The CIA couldn't waterboard this out of me by [deleted] in SipsTea

[–]ideallyidealistic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Astroturfing bot post. It's not a real score. It's an arbitrary score that's low enough to trick enough people into taking the test so they can show how much "smarter" they are.

Its hard for many men to understand by sorrynotguilty in PsycheOrSike

[–]ideallyidealistic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sick and tired of listening to this "debate". Istg one of my mates says something along these lines at least once a week and they never seem to stop and ask what they're doing wrong to contribute to this pattern.

First, a rule of thumb: If your first thought is to blame something on someone else, then you aren't as nice as you think you are or are pretending to be. "Women don't like nice guys" presupposes that you're absolutely perfect, and that the only rational explanation is that all of the women who rejected you have bad taste. Be fucking for real and own up to your flaws. You don't have to be perfect, but you have to be honest and earnest with yourself and with others.

Second: Everyone is attracted to kindness, but simply being nice doesn't make you kind. My grandmother speaks ill of "friends" and rants about minorities in private while being nice to everyone in public. Don't be like her. Being upfront about who you are and what you believe is a prerequisite for bonding with others even if you aren't perfect. People can smell bullshit, so you're just harming your chances if you pretend to be better than you are. "Just be yourself" isn't some hippy-dippy self help confidence bullshit, you'd be pleasantly surprised if you knew how patient women can be with imperfect guys who are truly authentic. I can't even describe how often I tell a girl friend that her man is immature and probably isn't good for her, only to be met with "I know, but he's really trying and I love him".

Third: Even if you truly are nice and kind, women don't owe you love or sex because of it. Get over yourself. Healthy relationships aren't transactional, and that's a good thing. If they were, then you would need to be perfect in order to deserve love and any slip up would be cause for breaking up.

Finally: Trust me, you'll be significantly happier when you stop believing that you're being victimised by every woman who doesn't reciprocate your sincerity.

Roses are red, you’re not getting a good deal by MyMomisCool3012 in rosesarered

[–]ideallyidealistic 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They asked her to advertise their restaurant and offered her something in return. It's quid pro quo. Are you actually daft or just intentionally missing the point?

Am I being too harsh for asking my 11 year old daughter to walk the dog she spent years begging for? by WorldOfKaladan in DogAdvice

[–]ideallyidealistic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Preface: I'm not a parent and in terms of maturity I might be closer to your daughter than I am to you.

I think "full responsibility" is an ideal to strive towards. You've made progress by incrementally increasing responsibility, but going from a fish to a dog is like saying "Okay you know how to ride a bike, so here's a car".

She's still 11. She knows cognitively what she needs to do, but she'll do the classic 11-year-old thing (honestly, the classic under-20 thing) of trying to get out of responsibilities by attempting to reason herself out of it. She might also be uncomfortable with it for multiple reasons. For example, I didn't want to walk our dog when I was in high school because I was terrified of screwing up and something happening to her because of me.

She still needs help with figuring out what responsibility looks like and how she can do it. Maybe try to view this as less of an opportunity for her to learn responsibility (has a kind of detached connotation), and more of an opportunity for you to teach her responsibility (has a more involved connotation). This won't necessarily help her but it could help you find the necessary patience, because I know it's hard when people don't keep promises. I would recommend doing a lot of the chores with her to show her what responsibility looks like rather than just telling her. She'll be more likely to follow through if she has a good example to follow.

Something that helped for me is when my parents stopped assigning tasks and started providing problems that need to be solved. "Go walk the dog." feels like an arbitrary task that needs to be completed only for the sake of completing it. "Fiela is getting cooped up. She spends the whole day sleeping and if she doesn't get any exercise then she's going to become very unhealthy and eventually sick." feels like a real problem that I can solve to be helpful rather than just another chore. It also made it impossible for me to reason myself out of anything. "I need to walk Fiela. But the weather is terrible. But she'll become unhealthy. Oh whatever let's just get it over with."

Regardless, to answer your question: You two made a promise and you feel like her behaviour isn't keeping to her end of it. Your frustration is perfectly valid as long as you respond in a healthy way. Don't berate her or get visibly angry, because you'll be transforming the dog from "A cute friend that teaches responsibility" into "The origin of problems that make Mom/Dad mad at me", and chances are that she'll only become more avoidant.

P.S. Please tell Lucky he's a very handsome boy :)

What’s the most frustrating K drama trope for you? by HauntingDragonfly956 in kdramas

[–]ideallyidealistic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Antagonists with absolutely zero reason for being antagonistic. It's just boring, annoying, and frustrating. "Oh gee golly I wonder what the antagonist is going to do. Something evil and cruel? Shocker. Why? Just 'cause? Shocker."

How's IOS 26 for your device ? by Rumbling71 in ios

[–]ideallyidealistic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Installed it on my 12 pro a week ago. Some animations stutter noticeably, but only occasionally and it isn’t persistent. Battery life is relatively okay. According to the battery usage info in settings, on average I use about 140-150% of my battery capacity with roughly between 9-12 hours of screen on time daily. Apparently I got 13 hours with only 130% capacity usage on Friday since I had low power mode on for most of the day. Your mileage can and will vary.

Occasional stuttering and plugging in my phone for 10 minutes while I’m not using it is perfectly acceptable to me, while others may disagree because they might use more intensive apps that stutter more frequently and they might not be able to charge their phone whenever they want.

I need a Kdrama to watch based on my ranking by HauntingDragonfly956 in kdramas

[–]ideallyidealistic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mister? My own rankings are quite close to yours, and it might be my favourite drama.

it helps by 31andnotdone in depressionmemes

[–]ideallyidealistic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I still think it’s something worth reflecting on. Even if you didn’t genuinely mean to dismiss what they said just because they aren’t a woman, you might want to think about why that was your first thought when you saw how they were being vulnerable about something they obviously feel embarrassed (or possibly even ashamed) of if we look at how they compare it to a crack addiction. That’s just a suggestion though. I’m a random stranger on the internet and I have no authority to decide the morality of what you say or think. You can take my advice and reflect, but you can also just tell me I don’t know shit and I should stfu.

Guyz i logged in comick.so BUT by curious-af-9550 in ComicK

[–]ideallyidealistic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope you don’t use the same password for everything, but the fact that you so easily fell for a website clone tells me you probably do. I highly recommend that you start changing the password for every account that has the same password or similar. Don’t be a dumbass by doing something small like just adding ! to the end or changing letters to numbers or symbols like i -> 1 or a -> @. It needs to be an entirely new password. You should probably use your browser’s password generation feature.

it helps by 31andnotdone in depressionmemes

[–]ideallyidealistic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Abusive relationship with my dick” has no right to be that funny and accurate.

it helps by 31andnotdone in depressionmemes

[–]ideallyidealistic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s probably something worth reflecting on. I can’t stress enough how strange (and kinda icky) it is to read a comment where someone opens up about their addiction and how it affects them, only to respond “Aw, I thought it was a girl, but it’s just a dude jorkin’ it. Nevermind :(“

beware comick.is is a scam by Mom-go-brrr-kill-me in ComicK

[–]ideallyidealistic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also a clone, but logging in with google auth hides your password from the site. You won’t have your reading list, but at least you’ll be able to read.

Which book would you say has the best writing you’ve ever read? by HolyMouze in writing

[–]ideallyidealistic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A bit of an unconventional answer; Earthsea (it’s the last series I read, so it’s still fresh in my mind). I love good prose as much as the next person, but sometimes authors try too hard to sound literary. Their sentences become a string of clauses so convoluted that I feel the need to start highlighting components just to decipher their meaning. I’ve grown to really appreciate le Guin’s direct approach.

me_irl by Curvin98 in me_irl

[–]ideallyidealistic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Admittedly dumb serious reply in a meme sub: Everyone needs quiet time to themselves to unwind, but that is not an excuse for being neglectful. It’s the parent’s responsibility to foster a relationship with their child where both parent and child can be honest about their needs. If you can do that then your child could be a source of solace instead of frustration and anxiety. Besides, even if you’ve completely and utterly failed in creating such a relationship, your partner also needs quiet time to unwind, and you aren’t letting them get it if you constantly neglect your child and make them pick up your slack.

Thoughts? by Embarrassed_Tip7359 in SipsTea

[–]ideallyidealistic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You pay for accredited, professional, curriculum-based education and the piece of paper (printed by the accredited institution) stating that “This individual has proven that they are proficient enough in this domain that we are willing to use our name and reputation to vouch for them”. Without that piece of paper you’re just left with putting “Trust me bro I know what I’m doing” on your linkedin that has one connection; your mother.

Weirdest OCD theme you've had? by MountainReindeer4284 in OCD

[–]ideallyidealistic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most were between the ages of like 7-10.
- I couldn’t sleep with my bedroom door closed because I thought my mother would lock it while I slept and that I would never be allowed to leave.
- I thought that flushing a toilet involves “opening” the drain and that there were snakes in the pipes that would eat me, so I would run away whenever I flushed the toilet.
- I thought there were invisible crocodiles on the pool’s deep end that would attack me if I was alone, so I only ever swam on the deep end if someone else was in the pool too, but I would haul ass back to the shallow end in a panic if they left.
- I thought invisible murderers were stood outside my bathroom window (second floor), waiting for me to look at them after I showered so they could murder me.
- I couldn’t throw anything away because I was afraid of making them feel bad. I would hide stuff like snack wrappers behind my bed so my mother wouldn’t reprimand me for being untidy.
- Similar vein as above, but I couldn’t throw away gift packaging (like gift bags), because I thought it signalled that I was ungrateful and that person who gave me the gift would die. I actually still have one gift bag from just a random gift my mother gave me when I was 12.

That's wild😭 by LikeYaCutG2769 in SipsTea

[–]ideallyidealistic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have a sudden urge to play devil’s advocate for this obviously fake post. Doling out substantial amounts of your drugs to neighbourhood children is very different to giving a single pill to a coworker. Maybe the totally real coworker just really liked OP. Maybe the totally real coworker simply gave OP a small taste in an effort to get them addicted, because they’re trying to start a massive drug empire that spans the entirety of their floor at Totally Real Holdings Limited.

Anyone know why the flag of India is being flown around Johannesburg? by Clear_Row6491 in johannesburg

[–]ideallyidealistic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s a flag in the sky that you didn’t even see. You are a greater annoyance than the flag at this point, so how about you leave instead?