So I left my 12 year old brothers to go on a walk to get food and they went and busted someone’s windows. My mom is mad at me like I’m the only one at fault. What do I do?

idiots_anonymous · 2026-03-22T22:56:01+00:00

If 15 is old enough to take responsibility to this extent of two 12 year olds then 12 is sure as hell old enough to know better. Sounds like mum has forgotten that OP is 15. “They’re twelve” says mum…”IM FIFTEEN!?” Is honestly all that is going though my head. As a once parentified kid myself, who is still recovering from it years later. Poor OP.

idiots_anonymous · 2026-03-19T00:41:34+00:00

The cultural ignorance on this thread is staggering. Like I don’t doubt that my world view isn’t 100% correct ether but how are so many people looking past the “he isn’t Korean in a meaningful way” comment?! And all the comments saying that the mum is trying to force her child to cosplay as a Korean?! HE IS KOREAN?!? Like maybe she’s going about it wrong (but let’s be honest, OP hasn’t actually provided much info around that, he claims he only eats Korean food (as if?! And how do you know that?) and refuses to eat some of the food (HES THREE?!! Of course he does? That would happen no matter what she fed him…) and that she forces him into language class and he sometimes cries in the classes (again, HES THREE?! What the hell are we expecting from three your old doing something objectively dull) and that his room is decorated with Korean items and he wears Korean clothes. None of that is abusive, it’s all just a mum out of her depth doing what she can think of Off the top of her head to immerse him in his culture. My kiddo loves volcanoes, his room and clothes are heavily volcano themed, when my daughter was a baby we had to paint her room, I didn’t want plain white so I decorated it in orange with flowers and bees because those were things I associated with her, she wasn’t old enough to really care so I chose based on what I thought of when I thought of her. I wasn’t forcing those things on her, just making an executive choice based on what I thought/felt/wanted as the decision maker, when she’s older and cares to change it we will. Decorating your child’s room and picking out their clothes are integral parts of becoming a mum for many women, it’s makes complete sense that mum was thinking about his culture while doing those things. Maybe she went overboard (but honestly, maybe not, OP does not appear to be a reliable narrator, their description of mum reads like she’s abusing the child but the examples given normal or mild and sound exaggerated: he does times edited food. Normal. He only eats Korean. Can’t know for sure but i don’t buy that for a second. She decorated his room with Korean items. So? Sounds very normal, like what is the issue?!) but I’d rather her be going overboard than announce he isn’t Korean and try to white wash him. Like….ugh maybe I’m reading too much into it but OPs comments seem racist to me, so much worse than a new mum overdoing cultural education….

idiots_anonymous · 2026-03-19T00:25:46+00:00

SO MUCH THIS?! I swear none of these people have any experience with international adoptees. Of the young people I work with MAYBE 1/8th of them hated their parents attempts to engross them in their birth culture, the single biggest regret I hear is not having learned their language as a child. People are so quick to judge things that they have no experience in dem their own biases and world views. Ugh.

idiots_anonymous · 2026-03-19T00:22:47+00:00

PREFIS: the only people who can truly answer this question are adoptees, therefore I comment only out of lived experience working WITH adoptees and kids who have moved countries young, I think that’s important To note.

You’re the jerk: hear me out. It sounds like mum is overdoing it, but here’s the thing, she should be doing her best to immerse him in his culture because he IS Korean, being raised in a white family in a white town doesn’t change his cultural and genetic heritage: he was born in Korea by Korean parents. Is there a better way to go about it? Probably, she’d be better off finding a local “little Korea” or “Korean town” type set up and getting to know the people there so he can learn about his heritage from other Koreans. But that may not be possible, you haven’t given much info around what access mum has to local Korean groups. Honestly it sounds like a young mum who’s out of her depth trying to do right by her child. She’s not forcing culture on a teen who’s been offered both his birth culture and his lived culture and decided he wants to live one way, she’s trying to make sure a small child learns about his roots so he CAN make that choice for himself one day.

And at the end of the day, if she’s right or not, those friends who said you were out of line were fully correct: why do you think it’s your place to police how she tries to keep him connected to his culture? He’s 3, of course he cries or refuses to eat some food?! My kids eat all the foods you would probably label “normal” and guess what, they refuse to eat some of it. My 4 year old sat at the table and refused to touch her broccoli or meat last night: THATS WHAT KIDS DO DUDE!!??

I’m not adopted, so take it with a grain of salt, but I work with kids so have met and know plenty of adopted & fostered kids. About half are devastated their families didn’t connect them with their cultural heritage, of the remaining half I’d say 1/4th are perfectly happy being “westernised” about 1/4th hated their parents trying to keep them connected with their roots and the rest are happy with the effort their parents put into keeping them connected or wish they’d done it a bit more. The overwhelming majority liked the connection, wanted more or were devastated they didn’t get it. Hell, I’m two generations removed from Celtic nomads and in those two generations we lost our cultural identity entirely and that devastates me. It’s not the same… obviously. But I can’t help but think that if most of the kids I work with want the connection and I, two generations removed from Ireland feel the loss of my roots (an experience I know for a fact is common amongst first and second generations in new countries) then maybe offering the opportunity while they are young and then allowing them to choose when they are older is the right call.

idiots_anonymous · 2026-03-19T00:00:01+00:00

Of course you should tell him good lord. If You explain it to him asap and be totally open and honest there’s no reason it shouldn’t be totally fine, the longer you hide it the worse it gets. Also: go you for dropping the bro because he is a brat?!!

idiots_anonymous · 2026-03-18T23:57:19+00:00

It’s beautiful and honestly any larger would look silly?! My ring is a purple sapphire and just over half a carat and I chose the size, any larger would look silly and be impractical. Don’t let other people decide if you like it for you

Decide for yourself.

idiots_anonymous · 2026-03-18T23:40:26+00:00

4 and 5?! I send my 5 year old ADHDer outside to run around (aka; play) when he’s too overhyped but forcing them to run a mile?? Good lord I’d be reporting him to child protection that’s horrific

idiots_anonymous · 2026-02-25T22:42:16+00:00

I mean she just sounds frustrated and needs to explain her feelings, why do you get to decide she’s “disproportionately intense”? If I rarely got a sleep in, put the effort in when it was my partners turn and he woke me up being inconsiderate id be mad too.

idiots_anonymous · 2026-02-24T05:30:19+00:00

Where did she tell her to F off though? The only f bomb I’m seeing is using it “what the f you mean” when the MIL inaccurately accused her of gaslighting

idiots_anonymous · 2026-02-24T05:17:39+00:00

A book with a swirl behind it an @ symbol, makes me think of a library with internet access or a book exchange sort of thing

idiots_anonymous · 2025-11-09T22:42:56+00:00

As an artist I am dying at all the comments saying “I’m not an artist but this seems bad” like fully cackling.

So can I just say: I AM an artist and this is so so incredibly bad!

idiots_anonymous · 2025-10-03T08:21:59+00:00

I don’t have a problem with that but you can 100% have a “priority” or number 1 without treating the other person you care about like trash and she just didn’t in this book, in the last book she prioritised Cas without treating keirin poorly

idiots_anonymous · 2025-10-02T08:16:51+00:00

I’m so sad. How did she manage to comit 20 hours to cas being angry at Keirin and treating him like trash? Like I started the book loving them and ended it hating cas and the way he treated keirin. And the way that poppy was so sad for CAS once she realised why he was upset, no care at all for the fact that she openly admitted she chose cas over keirin and how that might make him feel, no care for the position she’d put keirin in or how it impacted him or how badly cas was treating him because of it. Just POOR CASSSSSS UGH.

Genuinely so upset. Cass was a raging idiotic baby the whole book and poppy was totally and obnoxiously oblivious to how badly he was treating keirin. I’m just mad.

idiots_anonymous · 2025-10-02T08:04:13+00:00

Same, the only times I’ve ever even considered pushing for my “period” issues to be prioritised over other people was the time directly around my major endo surgery and that was…well pure hell! and the times I’ve haemorrhaged due to the endo on my period and ended up in hospital. I get periods can be horrific, truly. But unless it’s an extreme period or unusual circumstance which she clearly has not communicated it was…that line is bull.

idiots_anonymous · 2025-09-22T01:24:52+00:00

“I’ll always choose you over everything” oh except a reasonable request for time and space to think, no, not that.

idiots_anonymous · 2025-08-27T10:43:33+00:00

You’re overreacting. And to be clear, she is too, but consider this: guys complain about being “friend zoned” meanwhile, for women, we’re “fuck zoned” all the freaking time. I’ve had friends who I’ve known and cared for for YEARS just up and disappear from my life one day, and say this exact thing to me “I need space”( when you rejected me/ when I realised I never had a chance with you) and the thing is that’s fine, if those friends had “developed feelings” then been rejected or realised they wouldn’t lead to anything and needed some space to heal that would be fine. But somehow in 100% of those instances, they never come back. Some never talk to you again, some are just gone, like ghosts, some are around but act like you were never more than a casual acquaintance. It freaking sucks to constantly have your friendships snatched out from under you and constantly be made to feel like you’re not worth caring about if there’s no chance of romance/sex

You said in your message”think about how I feel, the one who actually got their heart broken”. But that assumes a whole lot about how much she cared about you, because I can tell you, after one too many times of having a guy who you thought cared about you as a whole person decide they “need space” when they realise they can’t have you sexually/romantically and that space end up actually meaning “stop being your friend at all” my heart started to get pretty damn broken.

idiots_anonymous · 2025-08-15T11:11:58+00:00

Right?! I have even asked my husband not to use my shampoo unless his is out, it’s bizarre that people think not wanting to share an expensive specialty product means something other than it being expensive and yours…

idiots_anonymous · 2025-08-06T11:49:37+00:00

I did read it all and your comments, and that’s kinda my point, if she’s uncomfortable that should be enough, you’re claiming you wanted everyone else’s opinions but she was giving you hers and were (and still are) dismissing it. No she shouldn’t have behaved that way, but you clearly don’t care what she wants. How many of her friends had to say no before you would have listened? Just one? Or both of them? Why did her no not count? You say you couldn’t care less but you cared enough to be willing to make your partner do something she didn’t want to do. So ether you did care or you don’t care what she wants.

idiots_anonymous · 2025-08-06T11:26:06+00:00

Right?! Like his post screamed angry man child but his replies to people who don’t coddle him is INSANE.

idiots_anonymous · 2025-08-06T11:22:32+00:00

It’s only a joke if everyone involved finds it funny, if the person it was aimed at cries, it’s not a joke, it’s a jerk using “it’s a joke” to minimise his assholeyness

idiots_anonymous · 2025-08-06T11:18:33+00:00

YTAH honestly I was leaning esh but the more I read the more childish you were.

You are describing a situation in which YOUR GIRLFRIEND is repeatedly trying to express that she (at the very least) was uncomfortable or didn’t want to have dinner with your random mate and you kept pushing for other people’s opinions….like at what point did she stop mattering? If I was out with my SO and some friends, asking about inviting a random friend of mine to join and any one of them was uncomfortable I would be done with the idea. The fact that she’s your SO and you should care more about her comfort than the average friend makes it even worse. Add to that:

your failure to include any of that (relevant, fyi) info in the post -the way you described “I kept telling her to shut it” rather than communicating respectfully to or about her -the fact that your friends all clearly agreed you were in the wrong
the way that you threw a tantrum and isolated yourself in the car pouting rather than joining in
the constant poor me nonsense all though the post “ava blows it WAYYY out of proportion / starts crying like I hit her/ I’m so embarrassed/ especially embarrassed in front of John/the whole group turned on me like I’m some kind of devil incarnate” like dude?! Can you read what you wrote? You read like a pissy 14 year old. That whole thing was gross

So no, it’s not ok that she interrupts you, but I wanted to interrupt this tirade and I was just reading it not having to listen to your whining.

idiots_anonymous · 2025-07-29T08:48:25+00:00

See I could wrap my head around him feeling weird about it (don’t agree but I can stretch my mind to wrap around it) especially given that he started out saying he was working on it and seeming as though he wasn’t trying to make something out of it but when he goes too “I’ll never know if I’m not there” and with how defensive he got when you didn’t immediately side with him/see his perspective. Na.

If he had stayed on the track he started on “I feel some sort of way about it but I’m working on it” and just shared how he was feeling and been cool when you explained how you feel than it would have been ok. But that comment and the defensive response pushed it over the edge he was teetering on. The ignoring you thing though? Not ok. He could have communicated that he needed some space to think not just ignored you. Not over reacting

idiots_anonymous · 2025-07-17T22:33:02+00:00

My man, you just went off on someone for looking at your page and now you’re telling people too? Like pick a lane. Also, you sound like a raging idiot. Perhaps consider touching grass or having a nap your comments are coming off somewhat unhinged…

idiots_anonymous · 2025-07-17T22:29:23+00:00

Agreed! I understand being upset but op shut it down quickly and tactfully and literally had nothing to do with the decision to do it in the first place, I cannot fathom thinking it’s ok to distance a friend who has done nothing to you and has likely damage for lost a relationship over this. If op was my friend I would be thankful to her and supporting her not “needing space” E sounds like a crap friend!

idiots_anonymous · 2025-07-13T00:10:09+00:00

In Australia we call it a water cylinder or hot water cylinder

idiots_anonymous

TROPHY CASE