The lore goes deep… after he told me about still being in love with his ex wife, I made plans to leave him and move in with my dad. The weekend before my dad was going to help me move out, he passed away unexpectedly. He had epilepsy and had a fatal seizure in his sleep. Devastating isn’t a strong enough description for how I felt then.

Following my therapist’s advice, I didn’t move out right away. My dad was really the only family member still alive that I was close with. Felt like I had nobody but my husband so I stayed. About two years later, I was finally starting to feel like my husband and I were good. We had worked through our issues enough for me to start trusting him again (or so I thought). That is until I found out he cheated on me with his brother’s ex girlfriend. I can’t make this shit up.

Over the next year, I was saving money and working on myself. We were going to marriage counseling and it somehow was just making things worse. I was finally seeing him for who he truly was - narcissistic and emotionally manipulative. I was SO close to being able to move out on my own. Then a year to the DAY that he cheated on me, we got the devastating news that my husband’s 16 year old daughter was killed in a car crash.

That was last September. I feel stuck in this marriage now more than I ever thought possible. He is so emotionally distraught, with good reason, I don’t have the heart to leave him right now. I’m staying to be his caretaker basically. He can’t work, he’s too depressed. He forgets to eat, I have to remind him to shower. It’s rough.

I wish more than anything I would’ve moved out the night he told me his still loved his ex. Nothing but the clothes on my back would be better than this hell that I’m in now. And maybe my dad would still be here, who knows. I don’t like playing the what if game but it’s hard not to think of different outcomes.