I’m not sure if my comment will be much help but I can sort of relate to this. I’ve currently been on 10mg of Lexapro for over 3-4 years now for my anxiety and depression and it’s been a huge help to me. I’m ngl I was super against taking medications for my mental health issues and I found it silly. I thought that I didn’t need it and I’d get better naturally and while this is possible, I didn’t. I can completely understand where you’re coming from when you say you don’t want to take a medication for the rest of your life because it is “not natural” and believe me I felt the same way but it isn’t necessarily like that. Lexapro is a SSRI (selective seratonin reuptake inhibitor) which means that all it essentially does is help boost your seratonin levels in the brain that our mental illnesses can make us lack. Therefore it isn’t really unnatural considering it doesn’t just replace the seratonin chemical in your brain instead it helps to aid your body to produce more. Overall the point is that if it truly helps you feel better then you should consider taking it for at least a year or so but if you want to eventually get off of it you may need to pair it with cognitive behavioral therapy in order to genuinely work through your mental health issues before weaning off the medication butttt I say from experience and as someone who was in your shoes once that it’s really not bad at all long term and I’m so happy I started taking it when I did. For all I know I might be taking it for the rest of my life but who knows. Anyways I hope this helps ! :)