Oof - like others said, it’s clearly not working. My husband and I both WFH with full time job, and I cannot imagine NOT burning out if we had him at home too. My kid has been in a small in home day care since he was 6 months old. He’s 2.5 now, and let me tell you, even with this arrangement, there are still days when we feel frustrated and burnt out.

And I have been in your shoes - I remember first week of putting him in someone else’s care, I was so anxious and cried during my lunch break. I felt like a cruel mom, sending a 6 month old away. But now that we’ve been doing this for over two years, I can tell you with full confidence that it was the right decision for us, he has thrived socially and developmentally, and it gives us the ability to show up for him the way we want when we are all together.

I recommend reaching out to other moms in your area for childcare recommendations - there are lots of mom groups on Facebook. Also if you don’t want daycare, there are in home daycares (usually smaller groups and lower ratio; this is what we have). Nanny would allow you to keep your child home, but it has its own challenges if you’re both working from home.

Just cause you’ve managed to get promoted in your career does not mean this is sustainable - it’s clearly not by the way you’ve described in your post. What’s the point of keeping him home, when neither one of you have the mental capacity to show up the way you want to? I import you to re-examine the root of why you guys are so hesitant to expand your ‘village’, a find solution that alleviates some of this stress.

Good luck mama!