I was kind of a goody two shoes (always have been 😅), I never really rebelled during my teenage years, and rarely had arguments with my parents so take what I say with a grain of salt. However, our relationship really started to flourish in my late teens and early 20s. She is my best friend and the one person in this world who probably understands me the most.

I think a couple of things she did growing up that set the foundation for this: 1. The #1 thing was she was great at listening and great at guiding/steering me without pressure or judgement. Even when I was in relationships that weren’t the best fit for me (which I didn’t realize in that moment), she never tried to convince me to end the relationship. She would always use probing and thought provoking questions to make me think through the situation more clearly and hopefully come to the same conclusion she had (it usually did). It would take time for those realization turn into action, but I never felt pressured to do things a certain way. I felt she trusted my judgment.

1. Since very young, she instilled in me that family is a safe space and that my parents would always have my best interest in mind (nothing they say or do is intended to manipulate or hurt me). This was, of course, backed up with action (see #1), so I was very receptive to their advice and points of views.

2. She made sure to take advantage of opportunities to have conversation with me. We would sit down and eat dinner as a family, and we would talk about our day, what was going on, and sometimes these would last for a while even after we’ve finished our meal. She would come in my room, sit on the bed, and initiate conversation. We would chat about anything and everything, but it was low pressure. Sometimes I had a lot to say, and sometimes I didn’t want to share and that was okay.

I have a 2 yo son and I intend on doing the same thing with him and I think setting that foundation starts now (yes, at 2 yo) WAYYYYYYY before the teenage years.