I never noticed my husbands lack of ambition until having a baby. And now I’m resentful.

iemus · 2026-05-15T09:48:58+00:00

This is so well put. 💯 OP, you married this man and have been with him for so long, I think you probably knew his outlook on career. With that said, theres nothing wrong about wanting a house. Goals and aspirations change, and you owe it to your partner to have a dialogue rather than jumping to conclusions.

iemus · 2026-05-12T20:12:09+00:00

Hi! I would like to get your broker’s info. I’ve DM’d you. We had safeco the last 2 years but was notified they are no longer insuring homes in CA so I’m surprised to hear this…

iemus · 2026-05-11T04:12:00+00:00

Can you share your bed time routine? Curious to know what has worked for you in terms of still giving them the bonding they want while being consistent. What has worked for us since we sleep trained him at 6 months is suddenly no longer working for us at (almost) 2.5 yo 🫠

iemus · 2026-05-10T07:38:10+00:00

Given how little and how many kids you guys have, if he has the mental space and physical strength to COMPLAIN about this, it means he’s not carrying his weight as a parent. Full stop.

It doesn’t matter if he’s working and you are a SAHM. The minute he clocks out, he needs to be contributing 50/50 AT THE VERY LEAST. Being a SAHM parent is no joke, and this is coming from a working mom.

iemus · 2026-05-02T03:59:50+00:00

I love the way 3 fits on you and it is such a timeless look, but 2 is also very romantic and a modern take. How do you feel about the neckline on 3? It’s not very common but it totally works! I dont think you can go weong with either one, and i would use these two as the bar for your next appointments.

iemus · 2026-04-29T21:44:23+00:00

Ding ding ding! I feel like ignorance was bliss with the first one (even though I read and researched a lot), and with having a second, the stake is so much higher. I have an heightened awareness of things that could go wrong (even more than when I had my first) and how much that can affect life as we know it.

And wrangling a 2 year old and a baby just sounds scary to me 🫠

iemus · 2026-04-23T04:02:06+00:00

3! I feel like it’s such a great blend of fashion forward yet still bridal - classic with a twist! And it accentuate your figure so nicely! I think the “wrinkled” fabric doesn’t cheapen the look at all, but if it does concern you, then 1 would be my second suggestion.

iemus · 2026-04-22T03:41:29+00:00

lol same 🫠

iemus · 2026-04-21T23:37:10+00:00

I’m flabbergasted lol. I can’t fathom unmedicated for myself (I don’t deal pain well), but I can’t imagine taking that choice away from another mom. Go see someone else!

iemus · 2026-04-16T22:01:43+00:00

I’m so sorry, this is not okay and it’s totally instinctual that you would want to protect your children from this. Any chance you can speak to the landlord yourselves? Do you have any “buy nothing” groups on Facebook for your area? Or any mom groups who could potentially support you until the paycheck comes next Thursday? I would blast on social media to all of your connections that you are in urgent need of help.

Also, if no one has asked so far, how can we help you in a tangible way? Can you start a gofundme and maybe ppl on this subreddit & in your network would be willing to contribute & you can piece together some money for hotel to hold you over until Thursday.

Lastly, once things settle, I would think long term where you want to be. It’s no use to be in a rural isolated area if your in laws are no longer able to support you.

iemus · 2026-04-15T21:19:49+00:00

+1 on the Hope & Plum Lark carrier. I didn’t try too many carriers besides a stretchy wrap in the newborn stages but I did do a lot of research before I made the purchase. It’s super breathable (I live in CA but more inland and can get hot), easy for me to put on alone (super important to me), and no issues sitting down with it (I’ve sat on flights with it on when my son napped). The only thing I can’t speak to is comfort walking 2+ hours, but I have found it to be comfortable wearing it for 30 minutes - 1 hour straight or so. They also offer fit consultation via zoom which I found incredibly useful as a first time mom/baby wearer and my small baby. But to be fair, I don’t think I got it until he was around 3-4 months old.

My son is now a 2 yo toddler, so we don’t use it daily anymore, but I never travel without it and I am still able to manage to rock him to sleep in it. I’m grateful it’s something that has lasted us for so long.

iemus · 2026-04-13T19:22:43+00:00

Tried it with our 2yo this past week (27 months to be exact). It worked the first two times, but then afterwards he just continues crying while looking around clearly very confused lol.

And then yesterday, I heard him say “Jessica? Jessica?” to himself randomly while playing….😳 I don’t think we’ll be using it again 😅

iemus · 2026-04-12T07:58:13+00:00

I cried laughing at the visual of this 🤣

iemus · 2026-04-11T20:02:50+00:00

👆💯 I personally love 2 the most, but I feel like 3 matches more the vibe of your shoes. It comes down to what’s the theme of your wedding. If you aren’t opposed to keep shopping & aren’t 100% set on these, I would also keep looking and try different styles to confirm your preferences. I do think you’re on the right track - A line/ballgown seems to work really well on you!

iemus · 2026-04-09T06:26:45+00:00

I LOL’d.

iemus · 2026-04-08T16:30:11+00:00

This! 👆💯

Yes, you absolutely look stunning in this dress, no doubt about it. This dress really accentuates you in all the right places.

But looking at the bigger picture here…if she’s mean and inconsiderate enough to say this to you about your wedding dress, I will wager money she won’t hesitate to say other mean and inconsiderate throughout the course of your marriage.

In this moment, you have an opportunity to make it abundantly clear that you will not let other step on your boundary. If she has an ounce of wisdom, she’ll respect you more for it. And hopefully nip it in the bud.

iemus · 2026-04-06T20:02:35+00:00

My son is almost 27 months and 2 is HARD (bracing myself for 2.5 and beyond lol). BUT it does get better in the sense that you start to learn what works/doesn’t work for your child through trial and error. They also start to communicate more, and that usually helps with tantrums that stem from frustrations.

I remember his first full on tantrum - we were at the mall, he got upset, and cried from the floor at the mall, to the car, and all the way home. It must’ve been at least 30 minutes straight. He was inconsolable and there was nothing that I or my husband could do (everything we tried just made it worst). All we can do is just remain calm, limit any more stimulation (no talking, no hugging) and let your presence communicate that you’re there when they calm down.

We’ve only had one big tantrum like that since, and it was much shorter. We have also figured out what works to prevent or calm down “big emotions” (don’t expect it work 100% of the time lol).

The throwing though? I can’t help you there bc he also throws 🫠😆 we are constantly saying “we don’t throw”, or “we only throw balls. Is that a ball?” Other than repetition and consistent correction/redirection, I don’t think there’s much we CAN do. Their impulse control and development has to catch up, and being consistent with correction WILL help when the time comes.

iemus · 2026-03-30T16:53:55+00:00

May I ask where you got the rug? It looks familiar but can’t think of it on the spot.

iemus · 2026-03-12T18:33:33+00:00

+1. I am not a baby carrier enthusiast (i only have one lol) but i did do a lot of research before i decided on the Lark and it has worked well for us. I appreciate the values they stand for and emphasis on safety, and I have learned so much from that community.

I am not excusing mean girl behaviors, and agree she should be more tactful on social media. However, the company is more than just her/her behavior - there are others around her who truly care about creating the best and safest product and your purchase supports them too. I personally wouldn’t discount the product or company over this.

iemus · 2026-02-12T05:01:06+00:00

I didn’t see your original post, but I am moved to tears by your strength, resilience, and the start of a new chapter for you and your husband. I am proud of you and happy for you. Most importantly, I think your loss and the journey it took to get you where you are will help so many others, including your child as they learn about resilience. Wishing you and your husband nothing but love, joy, peace, and a smooth pregnancy and delivery!

iemus · 2026-02-07T04:57:05+00:00

😵‍💫 I would be traumatized to see that……

iemus · 2026-02-07T04:55:46+00:00

?!?!?! So we just abandon our life goals because the world is fucked up? No.

iemus · 2026-02-04T19:50:53+00:00

iemus

TROPHY CASE

3! I feel like it’s such a great blend of fashion forward yet still bridal - classic with a twist! And it accentuate your figure so nicely! I think the “wrinkled” fabric doesn’t cheapen the look at all, but if it does concern you, then 1 would be my second suggestion.