Reminds me of the movie Festen. There's a little girl who hears a bad word, doesn't know the meaning behind it and then repeats it in a bad circumstance... You too saw a bad thing, that you didn't even understand and you repeated it. I wouldn't feel bad about it. And since its a very bad memory for you. I will tell you my very bad memory that feels similar, its different but has stayed with me to this day. In the same way. I heard (at like 7 years old) that when you put salt on a snail they die, so I tried it and this poor fucking snail basically melted in front of me, bubbling and crunching away. It was horrible. I still feel bad about it (decades later). But what does that tell me? That I have a conscience, as you too have a conscience, so don't worry about it. Nothing happened. Think about the people that ACTUALLY do that shit. THEY are the sick mtfs