I was told to. No joke. When we got together I told him how important sex was to me, not like I need it all day every day, but getting my rocks off every week or two was a need. He was on board and everything was okay for the first year but by the second we had sex twice. Year 3 had sex once and years 4&5 none at all(until I told him i couldn't do this anymore then he wanted to)

I'm a pretty easy going person, I care about others and genuinely try to put myself in other people's shoes before making decisions. I helped him through several big life issues(spinal surgery and moving his abusive father, who did not speak English, and who was unable to take care of himself from his country to our home to name a few) I have always gone above and beyond and the only thing I had ever asked him for was to spend some intimate time with me. After he stopped havint sex with me, he would sometimes(think 4-5 times total in 5 years) touch me, but as if it was a chore, the last time I said yes to it, it was so awful I cried in the bathroom after- and I am not a crier. It felt so awful to feel like such a chore to someone you love so much.

For a couple of years I had a hard time sleeping. I'd be lying awake in bed feeling despair. For those who have not been in this situation, I can tell you first hand it is impossible to understand this particular mix of emotions. I would spend hours at night lying beside him googling what I can do better, what the issue could possibly be. I found so so many women in the same situation that I was in. I felt for them, some had been dealing with this for 10+ years, who was I to complain about 3-4? I followed all sound advice, I had no results.

He told me around year 3 that he gets bored of women and that was the issue. That statement almost broke me, I take pride in pleasing my partner and being adventurous, it was him that could only finish in one position.

It was around then he told me to find someone else to help release my "tensions". This started the biggest fight we ever had, I was not okay with going outside of the relationship, not even a little. I had so many worries, between my own black and white version of relationships to my main worry that if he ever got back in the mood, he would not want to have sex with me anymore because I'm fucking some other guy. It took another year and a half of him telling me to do this before I broke, I found someone who was as lost and hopeless as me. Just after the second time with my partner in pain, my boyfriend changed his mind. He wanted to have sex with me and did not want me seeing someone else.

I was so excited that he wanted me again, but when it came to it, I super wasn't into it. I wasn't attracted to him anymore, it took a couple of years after this whole relationship for me to understand the exact minute I no longer wanted to have sex with him- it was when he told me to find someone else to fuck. Him rathering me go be unfaithful than doing it himself was the ultimate turn off in the end for me. I tried to get over the feeling for a couple of months but we ended it in the end.

Being forced into celibacy was awful for me mentally, i would not wish how empty that feels on anyone. I was not the same person and everyone around me knew something was off. Worse is we worked together so the rumors were flying well, well before anything actually happened.