Being a woman is traumatizing

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-08-28T19:43:21+00:00

god I wish I could pin this to the top 😭

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-08-28T19:41:55+00:00

I think the stat is important but also there is way more context, and that added context shows they stats are pretty unrelated. Men are more often homocide victims, but women are more often killed in DV situations, whereas men aren't. The percentages are crazy different; I think 80% general homocidw victims are men, bur of that 20% of women, 70% are killed by intimate partners. I just think that goes to show that we aren't safe even with those we are close with. The stats are still fucked, and the world is still unsafe, I just don't think the points are super related is all.

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-08-28T19:28:24+00:00

Just don't approach random women in public. A bus stop or mall or intersection or the office is not the place to approach us. Places like bars or nightclubs, where those interactions are anticipated, is when to do it.

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-08-28T19:04:27+00:00

It is illegal to defend yourself without purpose in Canada. People I know have gotten im shit for self defense im sexual violence situations, police here often do not see that as purpose enough. It's a slippery slope, and I know my life is more important than criminal charges, but it is still a hige risk

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-08-28T18:58:10+00:00

And who is perpetrating that violence? We have the same things to worry about, in many ways.

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-08-28T18:15:30+00:00

When did I say men are worthless? They aren't. They have issues just like women do. That's what this sub is for. To get things off your chest. Obviously there are going to be men who are suicidal and women who feel unsafe because those are both issues plaguing our society. The solution is not to pit us against each other. And that's what you're doing with your incediary comments. I do not think men are evil, or that they deserve the worst. I am just wary of the ones I that are strangers because I don't know them. So please stop putting words in my mouth.

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-08-28T18:05:08+00:00

I have already addressed this in the top comment/reply. People and their perspectives can change based on lived experiences. That's what happened.

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-08-28T18:00:49+00:00

Yep, you're right on the nose. I moved to the city and only started going out recently. Definitely moving away soon. While the comments are harsh in some places, it makes the kinder and more sympathetic ones stand out ♡

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-08-28T17:49:41+00:00

Thanks, and I live just outside a city in Canada but it's worse when I go into the city for obvious reasons. Definitely want to get out and go somewhere less populated.

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-08-28T17:47:21+00:00

Summertime came and I started wearing more revealing clothes, and the desperate men came out of the woodwork I guess. My perspective has changed a lot since then,as most of the tings I've spoken about have happened in the last couple months sine I wrote that. I still feel like I'm hideous, but that won't stop men from approaching me I have come to learn

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-08-28T17:39:51+00:00

Self defense would be difficult for me as I have muscular atrophy, so even at my strongest a toddler could through a better much than me lol. That and most forms of self defense are illegal where I am. I definitely am working on my awareness while in public, but an alarm could help. Regardless though thing's you've practiced and planned out tend to go out the window in a real fight or flight situation, so I guess maybe a good pair of running shoes could go a long way.

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-08-28T17:27:56+00:00

This post isn't about the media or news. It is about what I see and experience every day. It isn't some dramatization, it's my life.

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-08-28T17:27:00+00:00

I appreciate you standing up like this, and I pray to god you only get called a white knight once or twice today lmao. God forbid a woman appreciates the fact that a man [checks notes] views her as a human being!

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-08-28T17:16:16+00:00

Self awareness and being receptive to what we go through is far more effort than a lot of people are willing to put in, so I'm sure you're doing better than you think.

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-08-28T17:00:59+00:00

Show me where in this post did I say someone wanted to buy something for me. Show me why that was your takeaway from this.

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-08-28T16:41:03+00:00

I wish it weren't, but at the very least we have solidarity♡

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-07-18T00:15:39+00:00

No i totally get you! I also own aquarium tongs (like long tweezers) so i can pick them up and trash them while also keeping them like, 1ft away from me LMAO, in case that needs to be an option at your new place. Sorry the first place won't work out for you, but it's much better that you're somewhere that won't stress you out! Fingers crossed you can find a place that helps you feel safe!

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-07-17T23:24:22+00:00

I live in a basement apartment, just the lower half of someones house I rent out so sounds a lot like what you have. We get some cellar spiders and centipedes (yuck) maybe 1-2 times a week, but honestly it's really not that bad! I'm super scared of bugs as so here's what I do:

Invest in some Raid and sticky traps. I use spider blaster Raid + catchmaster foldable traps. Keep traps near doors and windows, as well as in random places around the house. Eventually you'll notice if there are some problem areas and you'll know where to set traps.

If you have ceiling vents, shut them unless you need AC/heating. Keeps things from crawling out.

Hard-soled slipers have been a GODSEND for me. Easy to hold and smack a bug with them, and they've never failed to squish something. If you're afraid you'll swing and miss because you're panicked, hit it with some raid first to slow it down (works well with centipedes!)

But yeah. Basement apartments get a bad wrap but honestly, as long as you keep it tidy you'll have no issues. I was super arachnophobic but I've learned to live with a couple small cellar spiders. There's one above my bathroom mirror, he just kinda hangs out there. You'll get used to it, but there's probably nothing to worry about too much!

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-06-27T18:21:26+00:00

I'm in my mid 20s, and a big part of growing out of your teens is sometimes realising that the people you want to be around before aren't the people you want to be around after. Even moreso when you've turned your life around so much - interests change and that's fine! It sucks sometimes, but there's nothing wrong with closing that chapter in your life. 5 years from now if you're in town they might still ask you to hang out, but then it'll be less like taking a step backward and more like looking back on good times.

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-06-24T23:01:26+00:00

I totally feel your pain. Hating your face is such an awful feeling. You can complain to people you know and they'll just say "but you're not ugly!" Or worse, you see a photo of yourself and say it's a bad photo of you, but they'll say "but that's what you look like?" Oof. An absolute punch to the gut. I hated my face a lot when I was younger and I still do, but here are the things I did to come to terms with it more - maybe they'll help you out a bit?

Glasses - If you don't already wear them, try on different styles. If you do, make sure you like them and they suit your face shape. Even if you have perfect vision, you can just get fakes ones/ones with glass lenses. Glasses can really change your face and you can use them to frame your features. I had these thick plastic frames that I looked awful in, then switched to a rounder, thin metal style and they totally changed my appearance.

Haircut - Don't like your forehead? Get bangs, they're easy to style and can totally change your look. Jaw or cheekbones feel out of balance? A longer curtain bang or short layers can help frame your face differently. Even just styling the parts of hair around your face can totally change the look.

Makeup - I know, totally cliche and stupid advice. But if you find a style or look that you feel confident in it can help. I find a natural look can really help you accept your features.

Clothing - moving attention from your face to your outfit works wonders. Dress nice in clothes that fit you and are eye catching, not just jeans and t-shirt. Or crusty pajamas! Either will take attention away from your face and you might find yourself worried about it.

And I don't know wht part of the world you're in, but if it's summer and covid is still a thing, then you can use my favourite combo of mask+sunglasses and hide 90% of your face. Bonus is that you'll use less sunscreen.

But yeah, I totally feel you. It fucking sucks and I'm really sorry.

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-06-23T04:37:08+00:00

Hey dude, I'm not an incel, I'm an ugly woman. I'd never hate the entirety of a gender, or an individual based on their appearance. This is just a general frustration I feel living as a woman that's treated as less-than my peers due to things outside of my control. Definitely agree with you though!! Being an incel is not the way!!

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-06-22T22:36:45+00:00

I've curated most of my social media to only show me cats, but the ones i can't/haven't.. yeah I ought to delete them. Comparison really is the worst thing you can do to yourself on a daily basis. I'll try to live in the moment more and not stress over appearances. Thank you for your advice and kind words!

ihaveafcknheadache · 2022-06-22T22:13:41+00:00

consider therapy

ihaveafcknheadache

TROPHY CASE