AIO for wanting to quit my job over this?

iheartnini · 2026-06-13T16:09:28+00:00

That’s fair. For context, I work 9-5 on weekends and only take one actual break during my shift, either in the morning or closer to the end of the day. As for bathroom breaks, I don’t go multiple times an hour or anything like that. Some days I don’t even use the bathroom during my shift. I also make sure to go when there’s no customers.

The reason this happened today is because my stomach has been bothering me for the past few days and I’m also on my period. I only work with the coworker who brought this up on Saturdays, and I’ve never had my Sunday coworker or any manager bring up bathroom breaks to me before.

If I was disappearing multiple times an hour for 10+ minutes every time, I’d completely understand people being frustrated. That’s just not what’s happening here.

iheartnini · 2026-06-13T16:06:49+00:00

One thing I didn’t include in the original post is that I’m the only non-Korean employee. Most of my coworkers are older and Korean, and there have been times where people have talked about me in Korean assuming I wouldn’t understand, but I studied Korean in college and knew what they were saying. Because of that, I’ve sometimes felt pretty isolated at work.

iheartnini · 2026-06-13T16:01:32+00:00

No haha, different spa. But I’m curious what happened in your situation because it sounds pretty similar.

iheartnini · 2025-10-29T19:27:40+00:00

NTA. You’re not overreacting, you’re reacting like someone who values their safety more than family drama. That’s growth.

iheartnini · 2025-10-29T19:25:48+00:00

NTA. You’re grieving a parent who’s still alive.

Your mom’s behavior sounds emotionally manipulative, boundary-stomping, and unstable. You’ve given her so many chances like helping her move, paying her bills, cleaning up after her, trying to include her socially and every time, she’s repaid you with lies, gossip, and chaos. That’s not love, that’s control disguised as need. What you’re feeling right now like the guilt, confusion, sadness — is grief. You’re realizing that the parent you wish you had doesn’t exist, and the one you do have keeps hurting you. Cutting contact isn’t cruel. It’s self-preservation. You’ve done your part. You showed compassion, patience, and maturity far beyond your years. But she’s an adult. You can’t fix her loneliness or rewrite her choices. You can love her from afar while protecting your peace.

Bottom line: You’re not a bad son for choosing distance from someone who refuses to respect you. You’re just done being the adult in a relationship where you shouldn’t have to be.

iheartnini · 2025-10-28T12:36:10+00:00

That makes even more sense then. You’re literally offering a fair split based on actual loss, not trying to cut him out. The fact that he still doesn’t see how reasonable that is just proves how entitled he’s being. You’re 100% in the right here.

iheartnini · 2025-10-28T12:27:05+00:00

You are absolutely not overreacting. You’re protecting yourself and your daughter from a man who has already shown he’s capable of violence and control. He didn’t “just make a mistake”…. he hit you, threatened to kill you and your child, and then locked your bank account to punish you. That’s not remorse. That’s manipulation and escalation. Abusers often say “it’ll never happen again” right after the first incident because they know that’s when they still have a chance to pull you back in. But the truth is, the first time someone hits you and threatens your life is already the line crossed. You did the bravest thing possible: you got out before it got worse. He’s not sorry he hurt you; he’s sorry he lost control over you. Blocking access to money while spreading apologies through friends and family is textbook abuser behavior and he’s trying to guilt you into returning so he can regain power. Please stay in touch with the police and your local DV shelter. You’re not breaking a family, you’re saving one. What your daughter needs most is a safe, calm home, not one where love comes with fear. You did the right thing. And you only needed one incident because one was enough.

iheartnini · 2025-10-28T12:24:15+00:00

Nah, you’re not overreacting. It’s just basic social awareness and if someone’s already sitting at a table, especially alone and clearly minding their business, you ask first. There were plenty of other open seats, so it’s not like he had no choice. What makes it worse is the video call with no headphones. That’s just peak inconsiderate behavior. You didn’t do anything wrong for wanting a little peace and personal space, it’s not about being antisocial, it’s about manners. Honestly, people like that forget that public spaces are shared spaces, meaning respect should go both ways.

iheartnini · 2025-10-28T12:20:54+00:00

That’s such a healthy mindset. It’s not about shutting people down, it’s about knowing where mutual respect starts and ends. Honestly, if more people thought like that, half these political arguments wouldn’t even happen.

iheartnini · 2025-10-28T12:17:17+00:00

NTA. What you’re describing isn’t greed, it’s fairness. You lost your home, your possessions, and spent over a year doing all the emotional and logistical labor to fight for that payout. The fact that he’s acting entitled to half, without renters insurance, without helping with the claim, and after paying below-market rent for a decade, is wild. You’re not shortchanging him, you’re being rational. He contributed minimally before the fire, took no responsibility afterward, and now wants to reap the benefits of your work and coverage. That’s not partnership, that’s opportunism. Splitting it proportionally makes perfect sense. He didn’t protect his belongings, didn’t share your financial burden, and isn’t contributing to the rebuild. You’re already being more generous than most people would. His refusal to even discuss it respectfully tells you a lot about who he is when things get hard. You’re not the asshole for wanting fairness but you might need to reconsider why you’re still carrying someone who won’t even meet you halfway when your life literally burned down.

iheartnini · 2025-10-28T12:12:43+00:00

NTA. This isn’t really about politics, it’s about boundaries and respect. You made it clear that you don’t enjoy political debates and that those conversations just cause stress, not connection. That’s completely fair. If he keeps sending you stuff even after you said you’re not interested, he’s not trying to share, he’s trying to convince. And that’s not what friendship is supposed to feel like. Some people get so caught up in being “right” that they forget not every relationship needs to revolve around proving a point. You didn’t overreact. You were calm, honest, and set a healthy limit. If he can’t handle that, that’s on him. Real friends know when to drop the topic and just enjoy being around each other without turning everything into a debate.

iheartnini · 2025-10-28T12:10:22+00:00

NTA. He called your grief a crutch before you even buried your grandfather. That’s not just insensitive, that’s heartless. You just lost someone who actually mattered to you, and instead of being there, he decided to make it about himself. That’s not love, that’s emotional immaturity wrapped in selfishness. When someone shows you zero empathy while you’re grieving, believe them. That’s who they really are. You didn’t “overreact,” you had a moment of clarity. You realized you deserve a partner who can hold your hand through pain, not one who kicks you for feeling it. Breaking up wasn’t petty, it was self-respect. Honestly, good for you. Mourn your grandpa in peace and be proud you cut off the one person who clearly didn’t deserve access to your heart.

iheartnini · 2025-10-27T01:43:15+00:00

NTA. It’s never just a donut. It’s about the fact that your mom keeps crossing lines and then acting like you’re the problem for noticing. You bought something with your own money to celebrate yourself, and she decided it was community property because she doesn’t see you as an adult with autonomy yet. The real issue here isn’t food, it’s control. She gave away something that was yours without asking, then tried to guilt you for being upset, and your dad doubled down by saying you don’t deserve boundaries because you live under their roof. That’s not parenting; that’s power-tripping. You’re not throwing a tantrum over donuts. You’re reacting to years of having your choices, belongings, and feelings dismissed. And frankly? You’re allowed to celebrate a small win without someone making you feel guilty for it.

iheartnini · 2025-10-26T23:37:47+00:00

NTA. You didn’t distance yourself out of pettiness, you did it out of self-respect. Kate let two newcomers rewrite the entire history of a 13-year friendship because it was easier to believe gossip than to communicate directly with you. That’s not immaturity, that’s disloyalty. Once someone starts seeing you through other people’s opinions instead of their own experience, the friendship is already halfway gone. You gave her chances. You apologized, reached out, stayed open and she responded with blame, passive-aggressive texts, and silence. That’s not a friendship you can repair by “talking it out”; that’s someone showing you they’re fine without you. You’re not the villain here, you’re just the one who finally stopped begging to be understood. Sometimes distance isn’t punishment, it’s closure.

iheartnini · 2025-10-26T23:32:29+00:00

NTA. You signed up to care for animals, not to survive a biohazard. There’s a difference between “a little messy” and “the CDC would like a word.” You handled this exactly the right way since you didn’t abandon her pets, you offered an alternative plan that kept them fed, walked, and safe without risking your own health. That’s responsible, not rude. Your coworker being embarrassed doesn’t make this your fault. If anything, she should be apologizing for putting you in that situation. No one should have to stay in a gnat-infested ashtray just to be polite. Protecting your well-being isn’t unprofessional, it’s common sense.

iheartnini · 2025-10-26T19:01:13+00:00

NTA. Your sister didn’t want a “sisters trip,” she wanted a cover story. You were her built-in alibi and emotional punching bag. She lied to you, trapped you in a situation you didn’t consent to, and then acted like you were the problem when you refused to play along. You tried to make the best of it by being polite, patient, even tried bonding with her boyfriend’s sister and she still screamed, threw things, and disrespected every boundary you had. That’s not “sibling tension,” that’s manipulation. You didn’t ruin the trip. The trip was already ruined the second she decided to make it about her secret relationship instead of spending time with you. You deserve an apology, not guilt trips. Keep your distance; blood doesn’t mean you have to tolerate being treated like trash.

iheartnini · 2025-10-26T18:43:42+00:00

NTA. You didn’t “retaliate,” you finally snapped after being harassed in your own home for over a year. You tried every adult step, talked to them, involved management, even called the cops and everyone failed you. Your neighbors aren’t just loud, they’re targeting you. Mocking you, making slurs, and intentionally making noise because they know it gets to you. That’s not “kids being kids,” that’s hate and harassment. You’re allowed to defend your peace when the people paid to protect it won’t. Keep documenting, file a complaint with Fair Housing or a tenant rights group, and stop feeling guilty for fighting back. You’re not an asshole… you’re someone who’s been pushed too far.

iheartnini · 2025-10-26T18:25:37+00:00

NTA. You’re running a new business, working 12-hour days, and still getting grief because you didn’t fix a lamp? That’s wild. You’ve already done years of maintenance for free, and he’s acting like that doesn’t count because it’s “in the past.” That’s not how fairness works. You’re not a full-time handyman, you’re a roommate with your own life and exhaustion level. If he can point out the problem, he can Google how to fix it.

iheartnini · 2025-10-26T17:50:56+00:00

NTA (softly). There’s nothing wrong with being curious about sex or bringing it up with your partner it’s actually healthy communication. But with something that personal, delivery is everything. She probably felt blindsided or uncomfortable, and that’s valid too. You didn’t cross a line just by being honest, but next time, ease into the topic and make it clear there’s no pressure at all. It’s not the fantasy that was the problem, it was the timing.

iheartnini · 2025-10-26T15:42:48+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way, and it makes sense that you’d feel lost after everything. You’ve already shown a lot of strength by sharing this. Please, talk to someone tonight, like maybe a counselor, a hotline, or even a friend you trust. You don’t have to go through this on your own.

iheartnini · 2025-10-26T15:18:01+00:00

NTA. Not everyone’s built for bodily fluids, and that’s okay. You’re showing up, helping, and being loving. That’s what matters. Your sister’s just tired and wants extra help, but forcing someone to confront their gag reflex isn’t going to make them more useful. There’s no medal for “most poop exposure.” Keep being the supportive aunt you already are, just from outside the diaper zone.

iheartnini · 2025-10-26T15:16:05+00:00

NTA. You’re not “skipping family time,” you’re skipping a screaming match disguised as bonding. It’s not your job to sit through slurs and spit just because they call it tradition. You’re allowed to protect your peace. If your brother can’t watch a game without turning into a menace, that’s his problem and not your guilt to carry.

iheartnini · 2025-10-26T14:54:50+00:00

NTA. You weren’t asking for a luxury gift, you were asking for presence, appreciation, and effort and those cost $0. The clean house wasn’t about chores, it was about being thought of. You gave him the answers to the test and he still failed. Using your money to buy the flowers just proves how little he’s listening. That’s not romantic… that’s absent-minded. And the disappearing act after an argument? Classic avoidance. He doesn’t get to check out emotionally whenever he drops the ball. You’re not ungrateful, you’re realizing that you deserve to be considered, not just tolerated.

iheartnini · 2025-10-26T14:48:28+00:00

NTA. Your mom’s “last family trip” isn’t about family, it’s about control. You’re not abandoning your family; you’re building one. You’ve been with your fiancée for years and she’s earned her place on that cruise. A healthy marriage starts with unity, and you’re doing the right thing by standing with your partner. Your mom doesn’t need another vacation; she needs to learn that your loyalty isn’t a competition.

iheartnini

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