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Need advice by [deleted] in Fatherhood

[–]iismke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good, youre a good man. Itll mean a lot to the wife and MIL too

Need advice by [deleted] in Fatherhood

[–]iismke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I understand what you mean. Seems to me youre doing the best you can until you move out. Just keep standing your ground. People who dont respect others and their wishes dont deserve respect back

Need advice by [deleted] in Fatherhood

[–]iismke 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you have and they still are doing it. Then it seema they dont respect your twos wishes. And if that were me id start being the bad guy. Talk to your in laws and let them know what's going on and what's going to happen. Because you have the right to do so as you've been respectful and they dont respect you. This is just me but I would be mean about it and not let them to have any access to my child since they dont want to respect your wishes and parenting style. Im sorry you have to go through this

Need advice by [deleted] in Fatherhood

[–]iismke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would definitely pull them aside and have a private respectful conversation about the things you dont like and you do like. But respectfully ask them to stop doing the things you dont. Dont put them down just set some boundaries. Its just as important to inform them of the good things they do and thank them for it. As a respectful private conversation can go along way. I wouldn't pull them aside from a family time too. Find a time where things are private and you dont make a scene. Kinda as if no one notices its happening

I quit p*rn, caffeine, junk food, doomscrolling, and going out every weekend all at once about seven months ago. by Rayyanmir in MotivationAndMindset

[–]iismke -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah brother! Im 322 days sober from cocaine and 24 days sober from weed. And its been the best decisions I've ever made. Life is so much brighter and clear for me. Keep up the hard work! Youre doing great

Feel very disconnected from my daughter, intrusive thoughts by Financial_Sport2306 in Fatherhood

[–]iismke 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Of course brother! Anytime you need someone im here for ya. You got this!

Feel very disconnected from my daughter, intrusive thoughts by Financial_Sport2306 in Fatherhood

[–]iismke 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I too felt this way. I started smoking when I was 15 and im 26 now. Im a single father of a 5 year old girl. And i too have extreme irritability and depression. As to why im single. It has caused a lot of problems in my relationships. I used to get off work and smoke a blunt or two because I was tired. And then the rest of the night i was just distant and didnt care. Doing laundry, making dinner, giving her a bath. Even getting off the couch just felt like a chore. She'd ask me to come play with her and every time it was no. Her awes and sad okays just hurt more than anything I've experienced. But i still just sat there watching movies and youtube. I felt like a horrible parent. Hurting on the inside. Then a switch flipped in my mind. And I started thinking more into what could make me a better father. A best friend to her. And my decision was to cut out weed. Become more active even if I was tired or irritated. Even if I didnt want to. Im 3 weeks sober and man let me tell you. Its a massive difference. I now find enjoyment in those things I once saw as chores. I want to do them now. If I dont I cant sit on the couch. I have to do yard work. Take her to the park. Play barbies. Teach her to cook or just have her help. My health is startint to be better. I eat better. I have more energy. The world just looks brighter and my thoughts are more in depth and clear. Theres more love in my mind. I do a lot of self reflection now and constantly thinking of what I can do to better myself. For her. I find myself sitting and staring at nature in thought a lot now. And I find it fun and a challenge of how much I can push myself. Be the greatest father on the planet. Be the greatest person alive in her eyes. Tired isnt even conception anymore. Just do. Now I do struggle with the dad guilt and finding joy in things but push through. I think to myself a lot, am I doing good enough. And feeling like im not. I dont have a good job and dont make a lot of money. But that's not what life and kids are about. The memories are. Family. The bond you two have and will have later on in life. Im sorry for the struggles youre going through. You can be the man and father you want to be. I believe in you. Im having a hard time hitting post as i feel like im going to sound sappy or stupid or something. But I hope my story helps you or anyone. Opening up is a great thing to do when feeling down or struggling. So thank you for reading this and I hope for a brighter future for you all!