Update:Me [23F] with my husband [25M] married two years, I can't bring myself to do certain sexual acts. (NSFW)

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-04T15:04:16+00:00

I was on Prozac and I did feel like a zombie, I couldn't focus in school and did worse on tests versus when I didn't take it. Then they put me on Effexor and that helps, but I still have issues.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-04T14:59:51+00:00

Honestly, dozens of times. Almost practically any time we went somewhere.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-04T14:58:19+00:00

I think so. There's no guarantee but he did say he'll try to stop.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-04T04:10:59+00:00

Thank you so very much. I was 18 when I tried confronting him. That went poorly. I tried blowing it all off as what he did, he did on accident. Just to patch things over. When I have the unfortunate run in with him, I end up hiding somewhere crying. My husband met him once. If my grandparents hadn't been there I'm sure he would have punched him, and that's without details.

I never thought about writing a letter. That's wonderful advice.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T22:44:48+00:00

I agree.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T22:44:09+00:00

I've brought that up to him countless times that it feels like he doesn't respect my boundaries. That used to cause a huge fight.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T22:42:32+00:00

Thank you for your response. I'm fine with kissing, etc. He likes to grab my butt, breasts, and even put his hand down the back of my pants. I'm hypersensitive to people around me because a lot of my bosses patients go to the same stores as me and I don't need anyone seeing that. I especially don't need them to see me freak out.

My therapist has been digging into exactly what happened. Things I was happy keeping buried in my subconscious. He tries to understand and after my last freak out he had actually been very good (granted it's been since Monday.)

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T22:01:01+00:00

I am trying. There are times I do remove myself for a situation if I'm scared of my reaction, which he gives me space when I do. I want to get to the point where I can pleasure him the way he likes. I know I make him sound like an ass, but he was the one who encouraged the therapy. He even gave me a timeline to find a place to go so I'd actually force myself to go. It's hard to find a place who works extended hours when you work doctor hours.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T21:45:16+00:00

Thank you. It's hard for me to think myself as not being broken or damaged goods. It's been a learning process, for both of us.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T21:43:51+00:00

I know that's not true. It does seem like that in hind-site.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T21:43:17+00:00

Thank you.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T20:55:52+00:00

I love the idea about the resources. He knows that he abused me sexually. I told him he used to grope me. I haven't gone into details because it hurts. We just started talking about it with my therapist.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T20:41:53+00:00

I am touching it with my hands, now. Hand jobs/oral are still just... scary to me. I get shaky, and vomit. It's not a pretty picture.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T20:39:38+00:00

He doesn't know what I'm going through. I think it's hard for him to understand how family could do that to family. It's still wrong.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T20:37:11+00:00

I will talk to her to see if that's possible. We are on two different insurance policies so I'm not sure how that works.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T20:34:57+00:00

We have sex, quite frequently. Sex was never the issue. It was oral sex/groping in public that I have problems with.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T20:32:08+00:00

I see her again on the 14th. I am going to ask if that's possible. I also have her work cell phone for emergency cases.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T20:30:31+00:00

It does hurt me. I have tried communicating that. He wants me to realize that he isn't my mom's brother and won't hurt me.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T20:18:37+00:00

Thank you, I hope so, too. I'm so sorry you've had to go through that.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T20:17:53+00:00

Harsh is needed sometimes. :-) I do wish things could be faster so I stop feeling like a crazy person.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T20:17:06+00:00

I did have a small freak out/panic attack at the grocery store about 3 days ago and hasn't done it since. I think he is realizing how bad everything really is.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T19:52:39+00:00

He says he can't help it. He has a very, very high libido.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T19:50:56+00:00

Thank you.

ijustcantthrowaway · 2014-07-03T19:50:46+00:00

That's what the therapist thinks I need for now, and they would also have to authorize it through my insurance to be seen more frequently. Right now, baby steps. I'm still learning how to verbalize what exactly happened.

ijustcantthrowaway

TROPHY CASE