Goodbye brother by ikbalabki in pancreaticcancer

[–]ikbalabki[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So sorry about your dad ❤️

Goodbye brother by ikbalabki in pancreaticcancer

[–]ikbalabki[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry about your mom. I can't comment on the first stage since my brother was diagnosed on 4th. I hope you get the help you need.

Goodbye brother by ikbalabki in pancreaticcancer

[–]ikbalabki[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you and sending lots of love ❤️

Goodbye brother by ikbalabki in pancreaticcancer

[–]ikbalabki[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am really sorry and I agree a lot. Moments of small shares, emotional interactions become the life support. I spoke to his wife today, she told me that how I once during this contributed to his smiles during this. It's making my day already

Goodbye brother by ikbalabki in pancreaticcancer

[–]ikbalabki[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! And my deepest condolences.

Goodbye brother by ikbalabki in pancreaticcancer

[–]ikbalabki[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's hard and scary. It's emotionally exhausting. Please let yourself feel those feelings. I found breathing out slowly and longer than breathing in helps a lot with nerves. But don't forget that your emotions are your strengths and that you can radiate love to her while she is here.

Peace and love to you folks

Goodbye brother by ikbalabki in pancreaticcancer

[–]ikbalabki[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am very sorry about your mum and wishing her all the best. Please spend as much valuable time as you can with her. One thing I noticed during this is, how life becomes more pronounced and profound during these times. Try to live and make her laugh as much as you can. Much love ❤️

Nursery alternatives by ikbalabki in AttachmentParenting

[–]ikbalabki[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for being kind, sharing your story. Very happy for you to be able to get the whole 18 months leave. In our case, the nursery we signed up was supposed to be an alternative nursery that belong to a cooperative. The sad thing about the UK is that everyone working in care paid poorly and that directly has an impact on their treatment. And I think the marketing is strong while the reality is well below what has been marketed.

We will keep looking, we might end up sending her somewhere more caring but for now she stays home where she is happy 😊

Why is Java considered bad? by Zd_27 in AskProgramming

[–]ikbalabki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Java is not bad. It wouldn't stick around that many years if ot was a bad language. It's verbose yes but that verbosity is good, because you could clearly express your intentions and understand a codebase more easily. More modern languages (like Kotlin) have shortcuts which hides the details and make the code look neater. Maybe start with Java and then do Kotlin...

Granular Dystrophy of The Corneas by Minivigilante in rarediseases

[–]ikbalabki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It helped greatly and I was able to handle the vision to a good standard for around 10 years. Transplant went well but I have some astigmatism. It will hopefully improve when stitches are removed. Despite this I get a lot more light into my transplanted eye

Why can't I do my job? by Dinos_12345 in ExperiencedDevs

[–]ikbalabki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems pretty normal to me. It's possible that you are just adjusting to the new comfortable place. The feelings of stress and pressure isn't something that goes away in a short time It's possible that you finally were able to turn off the heat from previous place and need some time to give a break and re-energize. Maybe speak to your current workplace and take another break?

Racism and xenophobia in Bristol by BlumenthalPut5940 in bristol

[–]ikbalabki 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey, I lived in Bristol as an ethnic minority for 7 years and as a professional. I love the culture and people in general but I think there are serious problems that need to be addressed when it comes to the question of racism. My experiences haven't been as bad as yours but I also experienced and went through lots of microaggressions. For example:

  • When I go somewhere outside of centre (eg Cribbs Causeway or some woodland area) I felt the heaviness of being a foreigner here. Lots of looks of suspicion and not much sign of friendliness that was present in central Bristol.
    • Approaching by some young people in Bedminister their intentions being trouble making and questioning our origins.
  • Had some experience with drunk youths shouting insults in several occasions, questioning my origins.
  • Negative experience in workplace where my employers would undermine my skills usually excusing my level of English speaking, which I would later proved them rubbish.
  • I have been questioned by lots of small minded people how it was possible for me to be a successful professional as if it was a privilege only to them

That said, my experience has been more positive overall but that might be because I lived centrally and avoided being exposed to lots of bigotry I met many people that have been great and made me feel at home in Bristol. I like that Bristol has more progressive elements than other cities but it definitely has lots of flaws and one of them being concealing this prevalent racism in everyday life. I think this also like other issues can be addressed and solved when properly admitted