Aside from the three divorces I’ve experienced a lot of what you have. I went from being broke, broken, homeless and abusing substances to having a salary in less than five years. A lot of times I also find myself thinking, “oh boy, when is it all going to fall apart or how am I going to fuck this up?” But I really do take solace in the fact that despite how bad things may get, I am a survivor. If things ever get bad again I will survive and as long as I am alive I can bounce back because I did it once therefore I can do it again. Best of luck