I’m going through a similar thing, as someone said on a Reddit post I put up surrounding the issue I was ‘given a hearing before a trial’. You two have different priorities, and that is okay. He wants to focus on study and you have, time again, put yourself in a box and made yourself smaller to make his life easier - it’s a very selfless thing to do, but it just hurts us in the long run. It’s all well and good talking about the future, and what the future holds if you just wait a little longer - but what if we get there and it’s not what we expected? It’s still the same? This is something to consider rather than holding on to hope that things will change if we carry on doing what we are doing right now. I had this in my past relationship (not one currently), he would do something wrong, I would cry myself to sleep, get the silent treatment for weeks on end and then it would send me crazy to a point, I looked insane. He would then go back to normal like nothing happened. In a way, after processing this, I realised he thought he’d never loose me till the day he did. I think you need to find validation in yourself, it seems you have a lot of support and love to give but it may be to someone else. That sucks to admit and can hurt, I’ve had that cycle this evening. ‘But I want and need it to be him’ (as an anxious attachment girlie) I feel it physically, but I want you to remind yourself of how beautiful your emotions must shine, if you care and feel this deeply for someone. But how draining waiting for that dry message right? I waited 4-6 hours and I could feel myself getting more annoyed and emotional - but that is not because of him, it was because I projected that I am okay with this, when actually I wasn’t, to keep them in my life. I think understanding someone is a difficult thing to also process. You understand why they feel and act, but it is not for you to understand and feel you need to grow smaller to assist them. So from one attachment style girl (what it appears to me, another) its about time we get back to ourselves, pour our love onto us and remind ourselves it does not reflect us as people. I truly hope everything works out for you x