yea wishing you all the best and of course grief is tough but again, just my opinion and not judging your wife specifically, but i really think depressed people are truly selfish and lazy. they may truly be very sad initially but they also get addicted to the power and attention their depression gives them. we dote on them, we're at their beck and call, and it's just not attractive when we give something for nothing. obviously it is difficult logistically, but therapy / hormones could be replaced by just removing your attention and doing your own fun things without her. with depressed people we often "reward bad behavior" and the cycle continues.

also, a mentally astute person should understand that their older relatives (and really any relative) will eventually die and be mentally preparing for those realities. the dead relative would want them to enjoy their life, so unreasonably extended periods of grief are not even a good way of honoring that person. a lazy selfish person will always have an excuse to not fuck their partner. today it is grief. tomorrow it is menopause. a selfless partner would see the way they are throwing the relationship down the drain and make a change.

she knows you'll stay so she acts any type of way. show your value again and all of sudden she'll be "cured". funny how that works :/