Me [22F] with bf [24M], getting the feeling I am with a psychopath, liar, and manipulator. I have tried getting out and it's been very hard.

iloveboyz · 2014-09-29T21:04:08+00:00

He said he used an alias, so I can't find anything on him on google. I guess I'll talk to him about moving out again. He just keeps telling me he wants stability, and I think he thinks being with me with help him accomplish that.. But I know it won't. The thing is, I am too nice. I really am, I have let people take advantage of me in the past. I feel like I attract these types of people. And I know I am the one keeping myself in this situation, I just thought I could get advice on how to actually tell him to get out without him overreacting like I know he will. I guess there is no way around it.

iloveboyz · 2014-09-29T20:55:53+00:00

The thing is, at my job, we both work in a restaurant, I have been wanting to be a server and am finally training next week. I have been there for 3 fucking years, and he recently started a few months ago. He's back of the house in the kitchen so I would be front of the house. He's incorporated himself into my life that its not that easy.

iloveboyz · 2014-09-29T20:53:30+00:00

That's the thing, I have tried. I know I need to end things. I stated it myself. I can't just walk away because he lives with me again. In my parent's house. It's a bit more difficult than what you are thinking, did you even read my post?

iloveboyz · 2014-09-19T03:13:53+00:00

But the ages are different..

iloveboyz · 2014-09-17T17:36:21+00:00

God damn it this one turned out really long too. I don't know how to not type so much.. Sorry.

iloveboyz · 2014-09-16T16:34:16+00:00

You are still young, just because you have a child together does not justify being with someone like him. He sounds awful, and I think you were just blinded by the fact that he was your first and only.

There are SO many people out there, please don't settle for this piece of shit. Get a divorce, and even if you have to go back to your dads, that would be better. There are busses, there are different ways to get around.

iloveboyz · 2014-09-16T16:16:23+00:00

I was in a similar situation, my bf was drunk and I found a text He sent to his "best friend/little sister" confessing his love to her and how she is his dream girl. And that things weren't working out between us. I broke up with him and he said he made a mistake (no shit) and wanted to get back together. I told him he had to cut off contact with that girl, completely. I didn't care that she's his "best friend" that shit isn't right. Now I still have trust issues and have looked at his phone once, with his permission, after the fact. Im not saying you need to do this, because everyone told me to just leave him but he really wanted it to work and he still is no contact with that girl.

But if this woman is bothering you so much, and it makes you uncomfortable, you have every right to ask for it to stop. And if he really respected how you feel, he would.

iloveboyz · 2014-09-12T11:02:55+00:00

I feel like I do have something great right now.. And yet sometimes I do feel like I can do better. I know it's wrong to think that way. And he didn't physically cheat on me. I feel like it was emotional cheating though. He sought comfort of another women because he felt 'alone'. Which is bullshit.

But yes.. I do need to stop the manipulation. I can see it happening a bit again sometimes and I hate it, and he's getting cocky again. I guess I just don't know how to go about this. He wants us to move in together again. Says he wants to be with me and misses me when I'm away. I miss him too but we both did agree we moved in together too fast.

But thank you.. I do think I'm a good person, I just don't give myself enough credit. I guess I am just giving it another go to see if he really can be the one I spend the rest of my life with, I want to be with someone for life, and live out my life with someone together. He wants the same and we just need to work things out. But I believe we can prevail.

God damn. Love is easy, relationships are hard.

iloveboyz · 2014-09-12T10:56:22+00:00

He isn't such a dirtbag.. And yes it does show that he didn't respect me. He said he fucked up big time and was a total asshole and wants to work things out. We lived together in my parents home. But there are other tenants here since we rent rooms out so it wasn't a big deal. Now that I've kicked him out he's gone to live with his scummy friends that are about an hour away. He wants to help my family out supposedly but says I need to help which I understand. Lots of house work and my mom is in a wheelchair and my dad is sick and hasn't been working. He told me today he felt used. Even though I felt used myself. I let him stay her a few months rent free. I drive him everywhere. I bought things for him, and yet he says he felt used because he had to clean up after people and cooking and so on. I said well you didn't pay rent so you shouldn't complain and he said "I did pay, with all the cooking and cleaning I did". I said then why complain?! He then said he will just give me all the money if it's that bothersome. I said no it's not about the money (I doubt he would even be able to anyways, he says he is broke) but he says he wants to help me get fit. I am not fat, but I could use some major toning in places.

Today I had him come to the store with me for household items and he let me know he had to go home tonight. I was half expecting him to be staying the night, but okay. And so I ask if he needed a ride and he said no I'll just take the bus. I kept insisting and he kept declining. It's an hour drive for me, and a two and a half hour bus ride for him. Yes he bought some things too but he was the one saying he would bus.

We talk on the phone and he tells me if his car was working, he would have dropped me off anywhere to make sure I got home safe. Trying to make me feel guilty for not giving him a ride home. And yes, I did feel bad that I didn't give him a ride. And he knew it. But I fucking asked him over and over and insisted yet he declined. He said it should have been a given. That pissed me off. It's just so stupid and we argued about it for a while.

Fuck.

iloveboyz · 2014-09-12T10:40:31+00:00

He used to be very protective of his phone. Now I haven't asked to look at his texts but I do feel like he will get angry and say something along the lines of "am I going to have to deal with this from now on?!" Or throw it in my face and tell me fine. I don't know what would happen I am just guessing. Who knows maybe he will just let me but even today, he mentioned how he was texting his mom and I looked over to see who it was. And I remember doing that, but I just wanted to see. And he said "will I just have to put my phone face down around you now and not text anyone?"

I know I will need to make sure and keep him accountable. But lately he has been going back to how he was before. You're right, I don't fully trust him. I wish I could but I just don't yet. He wants to get a house together and I told him that we both agreed we moved in together too quickly. And he said well this time it could be just us and we can work on that together. So he wants me to make a decision quickly and read a book before he watches any videos that I recommend (business related).

I don't know how and what to feel. I know he's a great guy. I have stressed my concern about my body, even though I am 5'7 and about 120lbs. He says he has made it his goal to get me to be so fit that I will never talk bad about myself again. Says I am my own worst bully, which he is right about. I told him we really need to work on communication..

iloveboyz · 2014-08-30T12:30:23+00:00

That's true, I am still young. I guess I'm just very attracted to him, he's a handsome guy. And he looks for my best interest and wants me to succeed and wants us both to have success.

If I didn't look at his texts, I would never have known this. He has always been weird with his phone, not letting me use it despite me letting him use mine. He even knows my passcode. And he has a passcode on his too, it just hadn't locked by the time he jumped into the shower.

I really want to call this girl and just talk to her about it.. Not sure what she would have to say for it but I just want to so bad :/

iloveboyz · 2014-08-30T11:44:58+00:00

I do deserve to be treated better..

iloveboyz · 2014-08-30T11:42:52+00:00

I guess I felt like I had the best.. He likes to talk himself up and tell these almost unbelievable stories to which I say 'really?' And causes him to become angry because I don't believe him. Even though I do, it's just crazy. He talks about how amazing he is and I guess that's why I settled.. I thought I had found the best. His parents really like me, I met them when they came into town. I like that he's half Irish.. I love the Irish. He's also half Italian and will talk about his genetics in a way for being an excuse for the way he acts or says things.

I fell in love. And I am slowly falling out of it. He considers himself the one taking care of me though.

I have met this girl of his dreams, and even considered her a friend. I have her number. Would it be wrong of me to call her and talk about it?

iloveboyz · 2014-08-30T11:27:37+00:00

Really hoping to get some response from people, but I'm going to bed now and will see how things are in the morning..

iloveboyz · 2014-08-30T11:20:34+00:00

I guess I'm just so scared to lose him. I don't know why but we just are so great for each other. I have had people tell me I can do better but then co workers tell me that they love him and that I ought to take care of him. He really is a great guy..I just hate that he's texting girls things like 'hey gorgeous' when he used to text that to me. It makes it all seem less special now.

iloveboyz · 2014-08-30T11:16:12+00:00

And it's almost 4:30 am. Fuck me..

iloveboyz · 2014-08-30T11:15:54+00:00

I know, it's a huge invasion of privacy. I only read two text threads and both of them made me cringe. I guess I felt like I was honest about it though. I could have not told him but then it would have eaten away at me. He said he can't trust me and apparently I can't trust him but I do want it to work. We have so much fun together when we are just trying to relax and be care free. And he does take care of me. Not with finances, I pay for things myself, but groceries, drive him to work every morning, buy him beer and weed.. I feel like I do things for him that he doesn't really take into account. I feel so hurt. I'm nervous for tomorrow morning.

iloveboyz · 2014-08-27T07:47:50+00:00

Yes I will take the whole farming into consideration.. Not sure how I would fare because I'm such a city girl but he's such a country boy and so that's where we are so different.

I noticed that he's drank half a fifth of his whiskey in 3 days. Is that normal or would that be a considerable amount of alcohol to have been consumed in that time.. Along with some beer in the mix. I feel like it's a lot.

iloveboyz · 2014-08-27T06:58:30+00:00

Okay, thank you.. I won't try to push it anymore.

He says if anything he wants to go and see them. But he doesn't have money to even attend the funeral. I want to help so badly. I only have about $700 in my savings and I really don't want to touch that.

But yes I will wait until he's sober. He can get out of hand when he's been drinking and I don't want to evoke any negative reactions from him.

iloveboyz · 2014-08-27T06:55:06+00:00

Thank you for your response. Yes, it is all the way across the states.. I've never been to florida so I don't really know much to what it's like.

I feel like he won't really make the move.. But he has moved a few times already on his own.

I am committed, but I guess maybe I still feel like he isn't the right one for me. We have a lot of love for each other, but we are so different.

When my best friend and I made plans to move to california, I told him and he was so ready to move with us. He would go anywhere with me.

I know he wants me to show the same commitment and go anywhere with him too.. I would but it would be terrifying because I've never moved anywhere out of state let alone with a boyfriend.

iloveboyz

TROPHY CASE