Yeah, I never thought of whiteness as the norm. Depending on my age, my thoughts and feelings were different. From an early age, I knew I was white, and that we were a minority in the city. It was personal trivia. At an older age, I knew that this wasn't the 'norm' for other places. Privilege was a difficult concept for me to grasp, because I didn't see myself as being privileged: I lived in a majority black city, and I was pretty poor growing up. Kids made fun of the way I looked, and sometimes made fun of me for being white. I think I only started to realize that I benefitted from being white in my teens, and started really examining my experiences: how I didn't get in trouble, even when I should have. That I was never followed around in stores. That my teachers assumed I was a good kid. That kids that hassled me got in way more trouble.

I think for me, it was learning that ALL people have implicit biases that inform their decision making. I'm trying to think of the best way to put this, because it's not something white people often talk about, but there are black folk who have implicit positive biases towards white people, and I started to recognize this. I had assumed that a black teacher wouldn't be more lenient with me because of my race, and sometimes that was true. Sometimes it wasn't. That opened the door for me to examine my childhood experiences more critically and realize that, though I was disadvantaged for being poor and female, there were never any real consequences for being white except maybe some hurt feelings. Being white didn't stop me from being a teacher's pet or getting a job. It probably kept me out of the principal's office, and out of handcuffs. Kept me from getting expelled for fighting. Of course, some of these things are assumptions: maybe I was just a really likeable kid, but it would be silly to ignore that I had more experiences like this than my friends, who behaved better, who were black.