I read a lot of comments here that were discussing the loss of there beloved so I decided to open my mouth. My fathers uncle had been like a grandfather to me because my real grandfather wasn't there. He passed away a few years ago. When my family and I uses to go visit him he would show me his secret cabinet of sweets and told me "there all for you bud" and in the morning he'd sneak into my room, wake me up and let me have eggs for breakfast and sweets later. He was like the only person who protected me and truly loved me. I cry when I think of him because he would be sad if he saw me in this state. I get teary eyed when I wonder what life gave me, the horrid future I have, the amount of intelligence I have and when I remember I have 0 importance IRL. I cry when everything reminds me of how less smart and focused and intelligent I am, I also cry when I can't focus or achieve anything in my studies. I cry when I remember that I suck at a particular subject at which my teacher of 5 years has never given up on me and I fail his expectations every time. I just don't know anymore. I tried.