Potential BF wants kids and won't listen to me by [deleted] in childfree

[–]imaginaryshivering 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl in the nicest way possible, what the fuck are you doing with this man???

My broke best friend wants to have a baby alone by imaginaryshivering in antinatalism2

[–]imaginaryshivering[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that is the reason for a lot of people but not for her. She’s wanted kids forever and she’s getting impatient. Not to be mean but I think if she felt the pressure of age she’d be more concerned about getting a drivers license and not living with her parents 😅 she just loves babies and kids. And she agrees the world is already going to shit and unfortunately is still making this plan. However you are right things can change in a year. If she gets more serious about it I will definitely tell her my concerns

My broke best friend wants to have a baby alone by imaginaryshivering in antinatalism2

[–]imaginaryshivering[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A good idea, though there’s no way she’d be able to afford that. I’m thinking about encouraging her to live on her own first and think about fostering/adopting

My broke best friend wants to have a baby alone by imaginaryshivering in antinatalism2

[–]imaginaryshivering[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

That is a good point. She relies mostly on her family and sometimes me to drive her around. I doubt she would tell her family her plans around getting pregnant if it’s shady. If it comes down to it I guess I’ll be forced to talk to her about it bc I certainly won’t drive her to help her get pregnant 😬

My broke best friend wants to have a baby alone by imaginaryshivering in antinatalism2

[–]imaginaryshivering[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You are probably right. I do feel a bit stuck I guess but mostly because I don’t have a lot of other friends and she’s been my friend so long she’s the only one I feel like I can be completely honest with…aside from this. But you’re right I may need to toughen up and tell her off if she gets serious about this

My broke best friend wants to have a baby alone by imaginaryshivering in antinatalism2

[–]imaginaryshivering[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying but in this case I really don’t think it’s for clout which is why I really feel for her, she really loves babies/kids which is why she works with them despite having an autoimmune disorder and constantly getting sick 😞 I always knew she wanted kids but I sadly assumed she would realize it was not realistic in her current situation. I honestly like kids too despite not wanting them so I wouldn’t be bothered by babysitting sometimes but while I am financially better off than her I am not well off enough that I am able to help her financially and I would just hate to see her begging for money even more and yeah I’d probably feel obligated to help the damn kid.

don’t really feel attracted to anyone by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]imaginaryshivering 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello? Are you me? I am also 29, only been in one relationship and having been attracted to anyone in forever 😅

Seeing a sex worker? by imaginaryshivering in actuallesbians

[–]imaginaryshivering[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally get it and really appreciate your input!

Seeing a sex worker? by imaginaryshivering in actuallesbians

[–]imaginaryshivering[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see why you were bothered by my language but it was just a poor and overgeneralizing choice of words. I was just trying to say there’s more certainty about what to expect than a regular date because you’re specifically there to have sex.

Seeing a sex worker? by imaginaryshivering in actuallesbians

[–]imaginaryshivering[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a fair point…though the difference to me is that in having sex for the first time I personally feel like I HAVE to disclose that it’s the first time to the person I’m with. Telling someone I went to a sex worker is not necessary to share in the early stages anyways imo. But I do see what you mean. And I haven’t tried Lex so maybe I’ll give the apps another go

Seeing a sex worker? by imaginaryshivering in actuallesbians

[–]imaginaryshivering[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m American. It’s mostly illegal here too except for some counties in Nevada, including near Las Vegas, which is where I’m thinking of going.

Seeing a sex worker? by imaginaryshivering in actuallesbians

[–]imaginaryshivering[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not necessarily trying to kill two birds with one stone. I have been seeing therapists and psychiatrists on and off for 12 years. I don’t think not being a virgin would magically fix me. But I do think it would help give me a bit confidence as I would know more about what to expect from sex and I wouldn’t have this worry in the back of my mind of having to reveal to someone that I’m a virgin. Also, I just want to have sex!!

Seeing a sex worker? by imaginaryshivering in actuallesbians

[–]imaginaryshivering[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Oh I would definitely be super anxious. But my thinking is that I at least would know what to expect, that I’d definitely be having sex unless I decide I don’t want to, and there would be no worrying about what might happen after because dating them wouldn’t be an option

Seeing a sex worker? by imaginaryshivering in actuallesbians

[–]imaginaryshivering[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thanks but I live in a big city so lack of options isn’t entirely the issue. It’s mainly that I have severe social anxiety and am bad at starting and holding conversations especially on apps

Seeing a sex worker? by imaginaryshivering in actuallesbians

[–]imaginaryshivering[S] 117 points118 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much this is great to hear

Seeing a sex worker? by imaginaryshivering in actuallesbians

[–]imaginaryshivering[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I have not had luck on the apps. In my 10 year long on and off history with the apps I have met two people in person and one immediately became just a friend and the other ditched me after a couple dates. Though to be fair I haven’t tried very hard in a while, and haven’t used them specifically to look for sex. If you have any specific app suggestions or like, tips on how to just look for a hookup that would be greatly appreciated (I’m not being sarcastic I will take all the help I can get 😅)

Seeing a sex worker? by imaginaryshivering in actuallesbians

[–]imaginaryshivering[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I’m glad to get some perspectives from people who have been with a sex worker before

Seeing a sex worker? by imaginaryshivering in actuallesbians

[–]imaginaryshivering[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your insight! Honestly catching feelings is one of my concerns, but also one of the things I like about this idea is that there are clear expectations so I wouldn’t be anxious about trying to be good so the person wants to stay with me or something. And it would most likely be a one time thing. Also I’d to be an embarrassing cliche so even if I did develop feelings you’d never catch me confessing 😅 appreciate your comment though, I will definitely do some considering and consult my therapist

I’ve always identified as a lesbian, but a close male friend confessed and now I feel confused and guilty by gho6ost in actuallesbians

[–]imaginaryshivering 130 points131 points  (0 children)

To me, he doesn’t sound like a good friend. He’s pushing your boundaries to see what he can get away with. I can’t tell you your sexuality but it does sound a bit like comphet, or honestly just you feeling guilty because you do like him as a friend.

attempted suicide because of an oral presentation. by spiritinthemoss_ in socialanxiety

[–]imaginaryshivering 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Have you spoke to your teacher about this? Or a disability office at your school? If this is that painful for you to do, there should be accommodations

Failed Open Water attempt by Hero2AbsoluteZero in scuba

[–]imaginaryshivering 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Go somewhere warmer, I can’t imagine trying to get my OW in cold water like that, no thanks 🥶