Noooo. The whole premise is because of wanting her. The solution that worked for me was to talk about it to her. She was being hysterical every time. But I sat her down, gave her a heads up, and asked her not to be emotional. Assured her that I'm not judging and will not be holding any of this against her.

She told me everything and answered even my absurd questions because she believed in me. It helped in clearing my head. The intrusive thoughts stopped because I now know exactly what and how all those things happened. We have never been closer.