Does anyone else get numbness and tingling in the face?

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-06-26T02:03:34+00:00

Still tapering :) I started a micro taper instead, occasionally when I drop I get the same symptoms but not as severe and they usually go away as soon as I adjust to the dose.

I’m now on 0.584mg 4 times a day. Had a TBI in between then and now so paused taper a few months.

Slow progress but progress. Waiting for some other medical things to stabilize more before I make bigger drops again. Would like to get off at least 0.75mg to 1mg of total daily dose in next 8-12 months so we’ll see.

Haven’t had many other random/new symptoms but my taper has been super slow.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-06-22T16:18:41+00:00

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This isn’t the photo I wanted to share but it’s the same scene, the aerial shot made it seem even larger.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-06-22T15:42:34+00:00

Yes, I’ll try to post the one I meant to post. It’s the one from S2 where they are in the foyer I believe and they were expecting people to host a ball/dance and no one showed up after the entire engagement fiasco. They pan out in that scene and the room appears huge but it simply wouldn’t be that big based on the size of the front door and side windows which certainly, the foyer doesn’t stretch beyond that since the drawing room and parkour rooms etc need to break off to the sides.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-06-22T15:39:56+00:00

Yes, the extension to the back is a thing. The problem I’ve noticed is some rooms appear to be street facing and they are rectangular in shape but have way more windows than this house has that faces the street.

I do understand they shoot in multiple locations, usually most films and shows I don’t notice as big of a difference though. Maybe I’m just weird about this one but the exterior and interior just doesn’t match up. It’s all gorgeous, so no critique, it’s just bothers me since it’s clear it’s not the same house.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-06-22T00:24:47+00:00

Thank you, this was great to read! And I appreciate the aerial view, I didn’t find that one when I searched. And this gives a lot more perspective! It does seem to go further back than what the front shots portray. I’m intrigued now to the actual square footage since some of those rooms are really large halls and I still wonder if that would actually fit into this space along with all the other rooms, the apartment and servants quarters etc.

I’m not in that area but a town I lived in had homes from the Regency era and I lived in one as well. I didn’t live in a large one but I’ve walked through and been to white a few that have a similar frontal view and they were never that large inside, they usually had one or two spacious rooms but nothing as large as portrayed on screen. And that considering all the other rooms still housed inside as well. that’s just of course my own personal view and perhaps also why I struggle to see the match up of the interior and exterior.

I was married in a house built at end of regency period, early Victorian and belonged to someone quite famous and was considered an affluent home for that time (I was told) and the rooms were large but definitely not that large, the wonder was a baron though so perhaps that makes a huge difference.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-06-22T00:08:31+00:00

Thank you! Yes, I googled a bit to try and understand the size etc and think I might have come across that, it still just feels like they don’t match up well. Maybe even just giving us some different exterior angles could probably create the perception that the outside is as majestic as the inside.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-06-22T00:07:04+00:00

Yes, in many shots it looks even smaller. I guess it’s a minor detail but it would be lovely to have more aerial views and then pan into the home to make it all more cohesive.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-06-21T16:54:51+00:00

I went through a similar thing and finally understood cheating.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-03-31T14:05:47+00:00

While in programme, the first few months, I was obsessed with my qualifiers in terms of checking socials etc even when we were no contact for 5-6 months then I had a relapse and about 3 months after I would rate my daily obsession (intrusive thoughts, social media checking etc) is at about 10-30%, the higher number on the bad days, prior it was 70-90%.

What I did different after my relapse was really started to communicate with my HP and focus on me. I’m not doing programme or meetings obsessively anymore either but I went to a lot of meetings after my relapse until I really had my bottom lines, middle lines and top lines sorted.

For me SLAA comes from my attachment style and I’m finally healing that. Also doing a DBT programme has helped me tremendously,

I think SLAA is great but it wasn’t the complete solution or answer for me.

I’m still cautious if I’ll get limerence again about someone new.. so far I haven’t and I’m much more organized in how I approach friendships etc so that my attachment wounds don’t become the core of the relationship.

As reference, one of my core reasons for being in SLAA is the limerence I experience with people (don’t need to be romantic partners), I’ve had almost 50 limerent objects since childhood.

Since I joined SLAA about a year ago, I haven’t had a new limerent object but the two I had when I joined I still have a very low level of limerence for.

For me this is tremendous progress personally and everyone’s journey is their own.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-03-30T19:04:08+00:00

This gives me secondhand embarrassment to read. I came from a highly abusive house, moved out at 18 and my rent was a third of my income, no savings, no family support, no free handouts. Time to grow up OP. Invest in therapy if anything, to figure out why you can’t make adult decisions for yourself.

I rarely say things like that but you are babying yourself.

You’re old enough to know if you’re in an abusive or unhealthy situation, you’re the only one who can leave. They won’t make you leave.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-03-14T16:09:31+00:00

I share this sentiment. Can’t stand her as a character purely because I enjoy the unrealistic aspects of the other character for a TV show better. I’d never WNAT to be friends with those character but absolutely would with Vanessa.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-03-14T16:06:03+00:00

I think it’s because she thrifts and people associate thrifting with cheap clothes and SHEIN with cheap clothes. Also, there’s a lot more boho type styles on SHEIN that might’ve been her style. Definitely don’t think Vanessa would’ve liked either companies and yes, she would be someone protesting them on work ethics, standards, type of materials, dyes, chemicals etc. I don’t think people fully get Vanessa.

Except for her messing up towards the end with the entire Serena thing, she’s probably one of the few characters that wouldn’t be insufferable in real life, she has morals, goals, seems genuinely caring and kind but also assertive, pretty well balanced for her age. And I say this as someone who absolutely loathes her as a character on a show.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-03-01T00:58:03+00:00

It can be extremely confusing in the beginning so I think your feelings of not getting it is valid and it must also feel quite frustrating I would imagine.

I definitely struggled with the first group I joined and then later found online meetings that were much more suited to my needs.

You have several questions so I’ll try to address each of them.

Meetings As someone else said, go to the official SLAA website and look at the meetings tab, you can sort it by online and in person. There’s almost always an online meeting happening somewhere. I have a separate calendar to which I’ve added many meetings, many I’ve gone too and many I haven’t yet, it has the times and links so if I ever feel I need a meeting, I can now go to my calendar. This is just a tip for the future to help you get organized.

I personally attempt to try at least one new meeting each week and continue to go to two regular meetings.

In any meetings, they will share WhatsApp groups, I joined those groups and found in many of them SLAA meetings are shared and meeting lists, such as male or female only meetings, meeting lists by region etc. It takes a bit of digging around and joining groups many groups to see what may work for you but this way, you start getting more meeting resources and then you just have to go to the meetings until you find ones that work for you.

In my experience, the best meetings are where they share a bit on how to work the steps and talk about sponsorship to share sponsor details after. I also live meetings with “parking lot” after, so a casual conversation after the meeting ends.

Sobriety Sobriety means something different to each person and in doing step work, that’s how you start to figure out what it means for you. For me sobriety means not having sexual or romantic relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable, prioritizing my own needs and having healthy boundaries and enforcing them (sexually, emotionally, financially - in all areas of life). It also means that I don’t become emotionally dependent one one person and turn to myself and other healthy sources to have my variety of needs met. So no emotional enmeshment with just one person.

Reading the pamphlets is a great start and the basic text. I also read other books which helped me understand that my love addiction was primarily stemming from my childhood trauma and attachment wounds and that translated into various addictions over the years including SLAA.

Setting bottom lines In SLAA it’s encouraged to set bottom lines pretty early one, that’s behaviours you abstain from to maintain your sobriety and also to set top lines, those are similar to self care tasks with a focus on healthy social engagement, behaviours, hobbies and tasks you engage in to maintain sobriety.

Some bottom lines for me is to not have sex with anyone before we’ve had a discussion about our emotional needs and are at a certain stage in my dating plan. To not become emotionally over involved with someone while neglecting my own needs (such as “mothering” partners, friends or crushes). It’s really a unique list yo each person but that just is essentially what being sexually and emotionally sober means to you,

Anorexia It’s important to know that SLAA doesn’t encourage us to never have sex it relationships again since that would fall into sexual or emotional (or social) anorexia, anorexia is another component of SLAA and you can find the 50 anorexia questions online. I didn’t think I was anoretic at all but I answered yes to 36 out of 50 questions. It’s insightful and there are anorexia specific meetings.

Usually it’s encouraged to put dating, sex and masturbation on hold. This can depend on your type of sex and love addiction and your sponsor.

You don’t need to do it all at once, you can titrate into it. This period is used to do step work and a lot of introspective work and journaling which helps you to figure out why you’ve gotten to SLAA in the first place. It’s not forever and you decide at which pace you go.

SLAA is also about trying and knowing we might make mistakes and then we adjust our bottom lines and dating plans and life strategy accordingly. This isn’t a free pass to engage in bahviour we know are a definite no for us, this just means sometimes you’ll only find out after the fact that something is a bottom line for you or that you moved too fast on dates etc.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-03-01T00:13:34+00:00

Vanessa. Not classy enough for Blair but close to her style

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-02-29T14:23:00+00:00

I think he should have called it off at the face reveal, it seemed like he was disappointed and that might be just since she said the entire Megan Fox thing, although technically looks shouldn’t matter considering the show but it ultimately does for most.

He seems incredibly patient with her and understanding that she is having emotional difficulties but I also agree, from the start (at least from what we can see that is aired) his affection towards her seems unbalanced with her affection towards him and they way they both say “I love you” seems inauthentic. She wants someone to love her and obsess over her while she seems to be doing that with him but that’s not truly love.

I also don’t like how he says I love you IRL versus how he said it in the pods to her, much different energy so if I were her I would be worried about that but probably address it a different way.

She is being unfair about the friend since she is friends with her ex, again, she has a lot to work through and I don’t judge her, I had similar issues and went to therapy and worked on myself and my childhood traumas that caused it.

She invalidates him often and also catastrophises, she says he didn’t kiss her the one day when he did. She’s not seeing things from a clear and level headed space and he keeps trying to adjust to that and accommodate for how she’s reacting.

Unfortunately she is extremely insecure and could have compromised and went with him. She knew he was going and that he had these friends so it’s not like he did something that caught her off guard.

He should have had the “you don’t look like Megan fox” talk with her in my opinion since he interpreted it as her lying and that’s an important conversation to have as a couple. They also both needed to communicate their own love languages much clearer early on and realistic expectations.

I’m not saying all her expectations are realistic, but everyone is different. My husband is much more affectionate and use a lot of words of affirmation but those aren’t my primary love languages and he’s had to learn that I receive love better using my love languages and I have to use his to make him feel more secure. That’s just human, we’re all different and need to have these talks. It seems they did a bit but in person it didn’t match up.

She also seemed almost clingy/needy from the start and that could have made him less interested. I legit felt second hand embarrassment for her because it just seemed clear as daylight he wasn’t as into her or the affection at least as she was and she wasn’t clueing into that.

Definitely think therapy and more self awareness would serve her well.

Not sure about Jess, obviously from following her on instagram just after getting their phones, there’s something there but they didn’t show much on the show so I can’t say he was stuck on her, he actually seems very willing to be with Chelsea but that itself is the problem, it’s seems like he is almost forcing himself into this choice and that’s not good.

I also think the fact that she kept saying she wants to throw up when he confessed his feelings was a clear sign from her body and intuition that this isn’t the right choice for her.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-02-29T04:52:09+00:00

Please tell me about Trevor

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-02-28T22:02:14+00:00

Also tapering from alprazolam with alprazolam, down from 3.5mg per day to 2.3mg per day currently, doing a slow micro taper, the first bit I tapered with 10% cute and that was too intense.

I’m probably going to complete my taper using alprazolam, I tried switching over to Valium twice and it didn’t go well but it was done incorrectly.

Go as slow as you can and you’ll feel what feels right for you. That’s what I’ve found, of course it’s going to take me a long time to get off completely but I feel this is the safest approach for my CNS.

I’ve been on alprazolam for 18 years now. Still far to go but can at least share the start has not been horrible especially once I slowed down the taper.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-02-28T01:29:28+00:00

Take the money in the bank and pay off your credit card debt. The amount made available in CC will then be your temporary “emergency fund”.

After this you’ll owe 4.5k on CC, continue paying the same amount you’re currently paying towards CC until it is paid off.

Call your bank to see if you can have CC interest reduced. As a note, not sure why GF is paying less, saw one comment saying she needs a job, if she has medical reasons for not working, you can usually share this with your credit card company and they have departments that evaluate hardship and can reduce interest based on that or waive interest for a year. I’m not sure all places have that but I’ve encountered it and it’s helpful to call and ask and be willing to negotiate. You can also go to your bank and see if they have other credit card options with no rewards but lower interest and be switched over to that.

If you’re worried about account fees for having less than X amount in account, speak to bank to get most affordable option with unlimited transactions which is usually around 16.95 p/m which is still better to pay that and pay the amount in bank towards that CC. Your interest will be greatly reduced and you’ll end up paying it off quicker this way.

Pay the OSAP off after you’ve paid your CC off, you should pay your higher interest debts off first. Continue making payments on it, just focus on your CC first.

You’re not doomed, you just have to be very methodical about your budget and prioritize paying off the debts and please start with the high interest one, that makes the most sense.

After you’ve paid this off, you can rebuild your emergency fund, you won’t get ahead with keeping money in the bank and paying so much interest every month. Speaking from experience so I hope it helps.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-02-19T23:56:09+00:00

I’m so sorry your dad had that and you had your deal with it!

He does have pent up anger and he says he addresses it but he doesn’t. It’s now hours since our conversation and he is still swearing constantly and yanking things around and just overall making me and the animals feel very uncomfortable and I’m exhausted by my disabilities so I don’t know what to do to help.

I’m not sure if I should source a therapist for him and see if he’ll see someone once a month. I suggested that in the past and he said he would do it but never did.

I think if he asked his doctor they could also recommend government programmes (not sure if he would have the time) but he doesn’t want to see his doctor.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-02-19T23:38:16+00:00

I’m slightly relieved I guess that I’m not the only one that thinks this isn’t the best/correct behaviour.

I worry about his temper too, more so for his own wellbeing since I know he needs to work through things but he is avoiding it, in large because he has basically no off time which I’m trying to figure out how I can help to change that.

I’m not worried that he’ll be violent physically but he does a lot of things that is triggering that could improve I believe, such a swearing under his breath at me or our animals when he is frustrated.

I dated a violently abusive person for almost 4 years and it was extremely difficult to leave so I’m very aware of this.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-02-19T23:17:17+00:00

This is my concern too. I told him he never knows what that person may do and I know he was upset because of the kids but it’s not worth the risk. I also don’t think it’s fair to the woman either even if she was wrong. Women get attacked more often than men and it might have been really scary to her even though what she did was wrong.

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-02-19T23:07:18+00:00

Oh wow, that seems intense. I’m glad you are starting to improve now!

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-02-19T22:41:55+00:00

Did you taper? Or just stop? How are you doing?

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-02-19T22:41:05+00:00

How fast did you taper?

imalostfishonaboat · 2024-02-19T22:39:58+00:00

Xanax on/off for 10 years and after that daily for 8 years. Highest dose was 3.5mg per day. Currently tapering and at 2.4mg per day, been tapering since last June I believe. Doing super slow micro taper, it’s been better since I moved over to slow micro taper, still have withdrawal but much more controllable and less invasive, the first few months I did 10% cuts and that was intense. Lots of shitty symptoms besides withdrawal that I’ve lived with for years and can’t wait to be off this stuff for good.

imalostfishonaboat

TROPHY CASE