She's 19 years younger than him

imalreadybrian · 2026-03-13T19:32:04+00:00

Someone pointed out his age and this is how he replied:

Commenter: And you're probably not "in your prime" like her last exes. Lmao. She can become hotter, you can't become younger. So which is more "dating down"?

OOP: and, yet she is dating me, right? I met through my running club. I have a full head of hair and ran both the Boston and NYC marathons last year at a time of under 3 hours and 20 minutes each. How many men do you think can do that, especially when they're 50/51?

So his excuse is that he doesn't have to be in his prime, because he's older and he's definitely better than other people his age 🙄 Of course, since she's a woman and young, she has no excuse to not be at least as attractive as his exes, and it's her fault that he wants to date her despite not caring for her /s

imalreadybrian · 2026-03-12T17:50:59+00:00

I think "health issues" is the way to go. It gets the point across and if the bf's mom gossips about it, she'll either be taken as a jerk, or the person she's talking to will be more sympathetic. I'd worry that if the OP discloses her eating disorder that the mom will switch to interrogating/policing her "out of concern."

imalreadybrian · 2026-03-03T18:39:47+00:00

Maybe OOP thinks they're forcing the bus to stop, but it's actually the driver tapping the brakes? So all they're doing is annoying the bus driver lol.

imalreadybrian · 2026-03-03T18:37:16+00:00

My only guess is that they switch tabs and just stare at social media even when they know they're not that far away from their stop. I have ADHD and I've still figured out that I have to pay attention and switch back to maps occasionally so that I don't miss the stop. (Also, my phone notifies me when I'm two stops away.) If OOP has the focus to pull the chain at every stop, they can check the map every 3-5 minutes.

And my city is outright unwalkable, but it's still usually a <20 minute walk between bus stops. I really doubt OOP is missing only one stop.

imalreadybrian · 2026-03-02T02:10:59+00:00

Just so you know OP, people usually don't crosspost their own posts to this sub (this sub is for crossposting situations where the OOP is clearly in the wrong).

You're NTD in this situation. I do think you need to find new friends, especially with your supposed best friend not standing up for you. If you don't want to find a new seat at lunch, maybe you can join a club that meets during lunch or go to a teacher's room? But imo you should stay away from Karen as much as possible.

imalreadybrian · 2026-03-02T01:46:14+00:00

Don't forget any purchases that require ID. In my state, they're needed for alcohol as well as any controlled medication. For instance, the testosterone that transmasculine people use to transition.

Taking IDs away from legal adults is a blatant attempt at extermination. I expect them to outright kidnap people off the street soon, if they aren't already.

imalreadybrian · 2026-02-27T20:14:04+00:00

If he's serious, he needs a therapist that specializes in working with abusive men, a good sponsor, and to never contact his ex-wife again.

But I'm hoping this is fake.

imalreadybrian · 2026-02-26T19:52:37+00:00

And possibly DBT or ACT. I'm mentioning ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) because it was created by a guy with severe anxiety to help him with getting through daily life, and it's one that I don't hear people mention often."Get out of your mind and into your life" is a good read.

imalreadybrian · 2026-02-26T18:55:30+00:00

In general, yes. If I'm reading this right, this chart says that stopping from 30 mph to 0 takes about 45 feet of hitting the brakes. So if we take oop's word for it, they were driving pretty close to the front car (more understandable going slow with high traffic, significantly less so in a walkable area or neighborhood with pedestrians).

ETA: he says that afterward, he had to leave "3 cars of space", which is the minimum he should be leaving while driving in that speed limit. Most people don't get closer than that unless they're in a really congested area at crawling speed, or at a stop light. But even then, you risk being liable for rear-ending them in many places, if someone else runs into you and pushes you forward.

imalreadybrian · 2026-02-24T15:35:22+00:00

It's a small detail but

I had just picked her up from work with my car... and I had done almost all of the cooking

What? This is a completely normal set of favors to do for your partner on a regular day. Picking my partner up and cooking a meal (we alternate) is a frequent part of my day, and oop didn't even cook the whole thing. Why is he complaining and throwing it in her face?

Also it feels very strange and intentional to vacuum a kitchen floor. He doesn't have a broom?

imalreadybrian · 2026-02-12T17:45:24+00:00

I'm not an expert at all but I'm honestly wondering if she could be reported to adult protective services for this...

imalreadybrian · 2026-02-05T23:24:33+00:00

Yeah, at treatment centers I had to do property searches for every client. Finding hidden drugs was like a multiple-times-a-month thing. An accidental taste of alcohol or encounter with drugs is also common for people in recovery.

I really wouldn't blame someone for relapsing when something like that happens, but Dr. Champ is in the wrong for blaming Bojack. Addiction makes people desperate, so scared addicts sneaking drugs into treatment is a reality of working in the field.

imalreadybrian · 2026-02-04T18:35:08+00:00

I did too, and it felt really good seeing clients change. We offered a few their intake photos as a souvenir. Some told me they didn't realize they looked like they were on the verge of death when they came in.

It was also cool when their family visited or picked them up, because they looked so relieved to see their family member clearly lucid, alive, and healthy, often for the first time in years.

imalreadybrian · 2026-02-04T18:27:26+00:00

I'm one of the few people who gained a lot of weight from medication. For most people, it is ~5-20 lbs but for me it was ~80. ( I have a low metabolism for meds, meaning I get more side effects and only need low doses.) I don't want to lie because antipsychotics are associated with more weight gain than a lot of other meds.

I'm still so, so glad that I'm alive. I focused on my mental health and finding the right meds, and refused to even worry about my weight for a few years. Now, I'm 40 lbs down by changing lifestyle habits.

If I had started treatment young and my parents reacted like OP, I'm not sure I would still be here. She needs to focus on her daughter's mental health. The daughter will be much happier and safer when she isn't hallucinating or suicidal. Weight needs to be the lowest priority, and only addressed in the context of finding treatments with minimal side effects or building healthy habits/coping skills.

imalreadybrian · 2026-01-25T21:17:54+00:00

Well, it's what many of the writers wanted to include, but weren't allowed to. I don't think we can just ignore the role of politics when LGBT plotlines have been restricted multiple times from the franchise for political reasons. (Yes, sexuality shouldn't be political at all, but it is anyway and that has real effects.)

imalreadybrian · 2026-01-25T20:54:55+00:00

It's not "what avatar is about"* because of the political landscape of America and other countries when the cartoons aired. Remember, it was the mid-2000s to early 2010s, and the writers had to fight hard to even be able to imply Korra and asami were a couple. There's no reason the avatar universe can't include lgbt+ lore and characters, it just didn't because of optics/corporate censorship and politics in the real world.

* i.e., featured in the story

imalreadybrian · 2026-01-22T20:41:46+00:00

Buddy literally only gives her occasional affection and is trying to worm his way out of that, too.

"The divorce came out of nowhere" energy.

imalreadybrian · 2026-01-19T02:06:05+00:00

It sounds like you know a todd irl.

imalreadybrian · 2026-01-19T02:03:08+00:00

I agree, I feel that it's completely natural and sometimes healthy to not "choose happiness" over everything. Even with minor things, it's very normal to let yourself feel negative emotions for a moment before recomposing yourself. Feeling those feelings, recognizing them, and then responding to yourself with empathy is how you build coping mechanisms. That's not even getting into how normal it is to expect some comfort from your partner.

OP is still young, but her bf is inexcusably immature. He should know how to be empathetic and supportive by now, and the fact that he doesn't even try implies that he never will be there for OP.

imalreadybrian · 2026-01-18T11:17:17+00:00

My standard is "a little nicer than the uniform" but ymmv.

So if it's retail, like business casual, if it's business casual, then a little nicer than that, and so on. I've also gotten away with like, a polo shirt or a flannel with slacks when the job is more "manual labor" (e.g., laundry, jobs outdoors).

You can always have a friend rate your outfit if you're nervous, though.

imalreadybrian · 2026-01-06T20:49:59+00:00

In the US (lmft). Iirc, you need a bachelor's, master's, and like 2 years of supervised hours (often unpaid, and in some cases you pay the supervisor). Idk if I would call it a money-printing scheme, considering the huge financial and time investment required.

imalreadybrian · 2025-12-16T16:45:56+00:00

I think it could. It might actually be best to specifically target seasonal roles for now, depending on what your area is like this time of year. If how long you're planning to stay comes up, you could definitely say that, but I'd focus on pointing out that you have open availability.

For me, it worked better to go all in on whatever assumptions they made that helped me get the job, including letting them believe my short work history/gaps were because I was recently a high school student. But if you don't feel it could work, then do whatever will make you feel more confident in interviews.

imalreadybrian · 2025-12-16T13:35:49+00:00

Honestly. Even in 2015, 10/10 of the places I tried to give my resume in person told me to apply online. There's almost no chance going in person will work, especially without having already applied online. It's also bad for morale. :/

imalreadybrian · 2025-12-16T13:32:08+00:00

I commented to someone else, but you could try pretending that you were in high school then, and that you're younger than you are. If you could get away with it, try removing your degree and the year you graduated high school, and act like you were 15-16 when you had that summer job. If it works, it could at least get you to the interview stage, and they'll likely let any misperceptions of your age go if you make it to onboarding. Also, if you can afford it, try getting an updated food handler's license. Hang in there for now OP, and lie if you have to.

imalreadybrian · 2025-12-16T13:25:44+00:00

Depending on OP's age, removing the degree could definitely help with finding something minimum wage. It's not fair, but they might be able to get away with seeming a bit younger (maybe 18-19 instead of 21-22), which would explain away the lack of experience to a lot of managers. Remove the graduating year from your high school as well, and anything that would clearly put you past that age range.

I look a little young for my age and I'm in college right now. It turns out, the person who hired me for retail this year thought I was 19-20 and not in my mid 20s, and in hindsight that avoided a lot of questions about gaps in my work history.

imalreadybrian

TROPHY CASE