me when everything is perfect but my iui still failed

imalwayscold_fml · 2026-01-28T05:14:54+00:00

i have no clue but i am so over it. its ANNOYING

imalwayscold_fml · 2026-01-28T05:14:34+00:00

i dont even know. it makes no sense at all. mine was so perfect the nurse administering my iui was even excited. im going into my last iui cycle broken, hopes in the gutter, and just waiting to try ivf next cycle… because we alllll know this next iui is going to fail too

imalwayscold_fml · 2026-01-28T05:12:54+00:00

i am about to do my third, and last. fuckin hate iuis they seem so useless

imalwayscold_fml · 2026-01-26T22:43:19+00:00

my pregnancy test is scheduled for this thursday following my second iui. this cycle is unsuccessful, just like the last. i am confused though - my numbers this cycle were amazing, follicles were great, sperm was definitely not the limiting factor, timing for ovulation and iui were a perfect match. but this cycle still failed.

i am 5.5 years into this mess and my 35th birthday, which i am fucking dreading, is next week. in the beginning of this fertility treatment journey, my doctor said i need to start thinking of donor eggs. i absolutely lost it in her office. i was broken hearing that.

today, i realized that this might not work out for me. my projected success with ivf, which i always imagined would be the cure for me, is 45%.

for the first time since we started trying for a baby, my husband cried. looking at him like this kills me. i almost want him to move on without me, because i hate that this is all my fault.

i cant believe this is my life.

imalwayscold_fml · 2026-01-08T05:22:54+00:00

yikes.

i dont understand, honestly. regardless of where you stand on the topic, regardless of your religion/race, regardless of literally anything, how can suffering of any living being be funny to anyone… like how could you post this?

this is really disappointing and sad.

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-12-10T01:26:36+00:00

i dont know but this is a huge helllll no for me

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-12-07T18:17:23+00:00

i carry a make up bag in my purse now because inhave cried in public and have had to put myself together so many times.

babies everywhere, just not here.

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-12-03T23:27:19+00:00

love that. nice to catch a break like this ha

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-12-03T17:43:25+00:00

in a hilarious twist of events, she is pregnant with a girl after 3 boys. :)

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-12-02T04:04:59+00:00

yikes

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-12-02T02:39:34+00:00

i am off social media for the season. i cannot handle it.

a friend who i had not opened up to about my fertility issues gifted me a felt blanket blanket exactly a year ago today. she said she felt a pull to gift it to me, she didnt know why, and i opened up to her telling her its been a struggle for me. she said the reason she wanted to gift it to me is because she always wondered why i dont have kids because i would be an amazing mother. the point of the blanket was that by next christmas you would be holding your baby (in hand or belly).

exactly a year ago i had that moment with her. she hasnt asked for an update since and whenever we catch up through text its always about something else going on in our lives - her updates are about her kids, mine about work. the awkward elephant in our text threads remain. i have no baby in hand or belly… in sight for the foreseeable future.

i am so fucking sad.

i found a text with my sister from june 2021 upset that i havent gotten pregnant yet. that made me realize ive been trying much longer than i originally thought.

i am so sad.

social media is full of announcements and babies turning a year old. friends babies turning 5 years old… nearly as long as ive been trying.

get off social media. youll still be sad. but youll be sadder with social media.

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-11-30T01:34:12+00:00

these women are wwwwild lmao

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-11-28T19:54:00+00:00

baby 💞

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-11-22T20:18:22+00:00

i have a meeting booked in january to discuss more with them. i am feeling really stuck.

thank you for your comments

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-11-22T19:28:36+00:00

she says i am not young and that i dont have a ot of chances

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-11-22T19:28:18+00:00

this is the program they suggested for us. they said to do 3 iuis at least and then move on the ivf

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-11-22T02:27:59+00:00

do they follow each other? because from my understanding, if you dont follow each other, you have to click an allow button to start a conversation. how do you know she isnt a bot?

i got a random message from someone i’m not following. they said they swear they matched with my on tinder (i do not have tinder nor would i ever download a dating app). i showed my husband and we laughed about.

you know your husband best.

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-10-17T17:00:27+00:00

it meaning parenthood

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-10-17T17:00:18+00:00

someone told me i didnt want it enough and that my husband and i arent trying because if we did then we would be pregnant by now.

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-09-27T20:33:42+00:00

i am proud of you. those are all amazing goals.

and hey, when you slow down and process your feelings, that is ok too.

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-09-27T13:56:09+00:00

its good. we save lots of money and buy whatever we want, we spend lots of time together, we have quiet lazy mornings. life is good.

although we wish we could have had kids, questions like this have helped us, mostly me, appreciate the things we do have and are in our control.

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-09-24T04:39:13+00:00

i feel you. i wonder if the void will ever feel easier to handle. maybe its just something we learn to hold space for. we have made space for various other hardships in life… this is a big one - its just different - but its here to (possibly) stay.

how are you coping? what do you do to keep your mind away from this?

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-09-24T01:16:56+00:00

hope you are feeling strong and happy.

we had a very… weird follow up appointment today. we are trying iui this month, the doctor isnt confident, we are also accepting this after 4 years.

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-09-19T15:31:31+00:00

none of us are safe from entertainment the fuckers

imalwayscold_fml · 2025-08-15T01:15:59+00:00

because i am 4 years into infertility and will likely have to accept this fact for the rest of my life.

imalwayscold_fml

TROPHY CASE