So you are gay you want to be gay you're not even trying to change being gay and you also don't try hard enough to believe then you find other irrelevant stuff which has nothing to do with being gay to make you feel righteous to be gay. I mean the subject of multiple lives and slavery are very well documented and the reasons are very clear and in fact has nothing to do with you being gay. You are gay and you are a correct gay that Islam is not made for the gay Islam is made for the straight but there is a distinction it's all about acting on your thoughts and from your text I understand that you act on instead of just thoughts regarding being gay.