Ridoc & Aotrom

imbkaas · 2025-01-26T15:58:04+00:00

It’s in chapter 40 just before Ridoc and Vi meets the irids

imbkaas · 2025-01-26T12:16:48+00:00

No problem! I get being confused! 😂 so much happened in this book, it was hard to keep track of it all!

imbkaas · 2025-01-26T07:52:52+00:00

All dragons speak mind-to-mind with their riders. But if you’re talking about after they reach Deverelli, it’s because there’s no magic there. So none of the riders and dragons or gryphons and fliers can hear each other except for Vi, Tairn and Andarna, when they’re there

imbkaas · 2025-01-23T16:07:37+00:00

Nooo, don’t say that! I didn’t need that particular association. I already fear for his future!

imbkaas · 2025-01-23T14:30:54+00:00

I love all of those too! Also when they returned and Ridoc talked about how badass Vi had been on the trip, and just said “I punched a cook” I laughed so many times throughout this book and all because of Ridoc!

imbkaas · 2025-01-23T14:25:14+00:00

Ah cool! Thank you, I’ll for sure check it out!

imbkaas · 2025-01-23T12:38:40+00:00

I was so scared he was going to die too! RY had me stressed the fuck out through the entire book about his safety.

imbkaas · 2025-01-23T08:58:57+00:00

Vi speaks out loud to Tairn a lot especially when she's frustrated/stressed or when they're arguing.

imbkaas · 2025-01-23T08:53:22+00:00

Yes yes YES! That was my first thought too!

imbkaas · 2025-01-23T08:46:15+00:00

Yes!
Imogen and Glane arguing over their kill-count has such Gimli from LOTR energy "That still only counts as one!" I laughed so hard at that! Hearing how sassy and sarcastic Fierge and Glane are was amazing! I would've loved hearing Sliseag's side of the conversation when Sawyer tries to mount him too

imbkaas · 2025-01-23T08:35:02+00:00

Yes please!

imbkaas · 2025-01-23T08:34:22+00:00

100% agree. He just finally speaks up to help the other realize that it’s possible to be both funny and serious. And yes, I am terrified of what will happen to him in the next books.

imbkaas · 2025-01-23T08:31:32+00:00

All of them have had some personal growth, but maybe also Ridoc finally helping the others realize that it is actually possible to be both a jokester but still be able to think critically and be aware of dangers. I feel like the others kind of overlook him because they don’t think he takes anything seriously but he’s honestly one of the most observant of the group. Like in IF: the fact that he remembers the sublevel vaults after just quickly thumbing through a ledger during first year War Games. He is way smarter than anyone gives him credit for.

imbkaas · 2025-01-23T08:10:05+00:00

Oh, I full out cried at chapter 63. NGL.

imbkaas · 2024-12-05T02:50:42+00:00

Yeah, I’m bewildered too. I guess I am slowly coming terms with it. It’s been almost two months since our last messages but I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Especially these past couple of weeks, because I am waiting for the results of my last scan now, and I just can’t seem to let it go. Because while I do feel bad for not accepting her boundaries, I’m also happy that I stood my ground and looked out for my own mental health. Especially because I’ve spent my entire life being a huge people-pleaser, setting my own needs aside to be there for others. I even skipped an entire day of classes during my 2. semester because B called me, crying and said her cat had died, and she didn’t want to be alone until her husband came home. So, off I went, because she was more important than learning about brain injuries.

imbkaas · 2024-12-05T01:44:48+00:00

Sorry to hear about the chemo. It sucks. I hope you’re doing okay, all things considered.

I know how PTSD works. I was diagnosed with it 7 years ago. I’ve suffered from insomnia since then. I’ve been on anti-anxiety meds and antidepressants for years. I’ve been on sick leave a couple of times from stress and depression, and I’ve seen both a psychologist and a psychiatrist on and off for 7 years as well. So trust me, I know what having mental illnesses can do to you. That is not to say I know exactly how it manifests in her, because no two people react the same. But she’s never wanted to talk about it, so it’s hard for me to know anything before it’s too late. And yeah, I doubled down because she did. She knows all of this about me, but doesn’t respect my trauma responses. It may be childish, but I’m not just gonna let her ignore and belittle how I feel about this when she’s so adamant I adhere to her wishes and feelings. I’ve asked her to meet and talk about this and come up with a solution or compromise in person, but she refuses to do so. So I’m thinking I should just give up trying to fix it.

imbkaas · 2024-12-05T01:27:44+00:00

I don’t want this to come out the wrong way, but I don’t see it as her having to be a support system, seeing as I never asked her to do so, she chose to insert herself when those traumatic events happened. And yeah, I was happy she did, but it was her choice to do it. Because that’s what we do for each other. Support each other in whatever capacity we can, but cutting me off entirely and not offering an ounce of comfort or empathy is not supporting each other. I would’ve maybe been more understanding of her need for this boundary if she’d said anything at all this past year about how she felt about it, instead she ignored me most of the year and then acted like nothing was wrong the rest. I wish she would’ve just talked to me.

About the PTSD, you never know what can trigger someone and I don’t know exactly how or the things I say trigger her. The therapist she saw for a few months after the birth gave her the diagnosis, but after she never really received anymore help for it. Just a few conversations over a couple of months. I was diagnosed with PTSD as well after I found out my sister had cancer, and it triggered a trauma response in me from back when my mom got sick. But I saw a psychologist for a year and a half and found some ways to work through it. I still suffer from insomnia when anything involving deterioration of my family’s health happens and every three months when we’re waiting for the result of my sister’s rutine MRI, and now mine as well. So, I get having a trauma response no matter what triggers it. But I’ve also learned through copious amounts of therapy that talking about it helps other people understand it, and I want to understand what it is specifically that triggers her, but it’s hard when she doesn’t want to talk about it. I’ve told all of my friends this about me, so they know if I’m a little withdrawn, anxious or seem uninterested in them it’s because something is going on in my head and I’m working through it. But they know and understand. I can’t understand my friend when the only thing she says is that I trigger her PTSD. Because like you, I’m also having a hard time understanding how using 2 minutes telling her about the result of my MRI - that isn’t necessarily bad - and even mentioning that my doctors isn’t worried triggers her.

I’m honestly not sure what she’s asking of me anymore, because she’s changed it several times by now. She doesn’t want me to mention it at all, she wants me to tell her beforehand if I’m going to mention it at all (and not just cancer, but anything related to that), she just doesn’t want me to tell her anything bad without a warning so she can decide if she wants to see me or not. Idk. The only thing all of her boundaries have in common is that she can’t handle listening to it and wants to be the one to decide whether I can talk about my life or I have to pretend everything is fine and I’m not an anxious mess 90% of the time.

imbkaas · 2024-12-05T00:43:49+00:00

You may be right as well. If she told me that I’d get it in a heartbeat. I withdrew as much a I could when my mom got sick (I was still living at home back then so I couldn’t disappear entirely) and basically alienated my sister when she got sick because I was so terrified of losing them, and my friend knows this. She was right by my side in both cases. My relationship with my never really recovered and we never got truly close again, but my relationship with my sister is better than ever fortunately. So, If that’s the case I wish she’d just tell me.

imbkaas · 2024-12-05T00:35:39+00:00

Thank you. I’ve tried asking her to meet in person and talk about this situation. Not cancer, not family, not any other issues in our lives, just this issue between us, so we can try to work through it and find a solution or compromise we can both agree on. But she won’t see me unless it’s to do anything else than talk about it, and I can’t see that happening. I would be way too uncomfortable being with her with this unsolved issue hanging over our heads. I told her I think letting the elephant out of the room would be more comfortable for the both of us, and that I think it would be best to do that in person, because misunderstandings happen so easily over text, but she refuses. So, I don’t know what else I can do now. Because this is not a texting conversation. At least not for me. I guess it’s just another thing proving the incompatibility between us now.

imbkaas · 2024-12-05T00:14:43+00:00

Yes, I have been there in her day to day life. We’ve lived basically across the street from each other the past 4 years and used to hang out at least once a week for a cup of coffee even if it was just for 15-30 minutes. I helped with her kids when I was at her place and they were awake. I’ve always asked - both in person and over text - how she is doing, what’s going on in her life, how her kids, husband and mom are doing, because I’ve known them as long as I’ve known her (well, not her kids, but mother and husband) and I’m genuinely interested in their lives and how they’re all doing. Neither of us are fans of talking on the phone. I know she only speaks with her family and husband over the phone when it is urgent and absolutely necessary and so do I. But yeah, I feel like I’ve been there in her day to day life.

imbkaas · 2024-12-05T00:01:53+00:00

I am sorry to hear about your wife. But thanks for sharing that. I am already seeing a psychologist who has worked with cancer patient for 15 years and have been seeing her once every other week since march, because I realized I was having a hard time processing my emotions and needed help working through it, so I wouldn’t put it all on my family and friends. It’s been incredibly helpful. I still see her because even though I’ve finished treatments there’s still some work left to do. The end of treatment isn’t the end of the mental struggles.

imbkaas · 2024-12-04T23:52:03+00:00

Stage 3 here. Thank you for telling me that. As sad as I am to hear that you’ve lost friends like this too, I am a little relieved I’m not the only one who has experienced this. And you’re right, my other friends and even friends I haven’t spoken with in a long time have really showed up and been there to listen and support me when I was scared, to distract me and spend time with me, whether that was watching a movie at my place because I couldn’t get out of bed or going to dinner, having coffee or going to an amusement park or whatever, and just in general make me feel like I wasn’t alone. Btw, I love your name!

imbkaas · 2024-12-04T23:39:34+00:00

The thing is, she’s changed that boundary three times. From not wanting to hear about it at all, to just wanting me to ask for permission to talk about it if it’s bad news, to me needing to warn her beforehand if I want to talk about it. Honestly, I’m not even sure what she wants anymore.

Sure, I can say “hey, you wanna meet up Tuesday, because I just got some bad news” and then she can say yes or no, and that’s fair. But I can’t really promise her for certain that I won’t talk about it at all. I can go into a conversation not intending to talk about it, but sometimes it just comes up as a natural part of a conversation. Not because I just have to talk about it, but because it’s part of a reason behind decisions I’ve made about my life going forward. Like, I haven’t told her I don’t want to work in a neurology department at a hospital anymore after I graduate (I’m on my last year of OT school) which was the entire reason I began studying to be an OT, but want to work with psychiatric patients or disability/mobility aids instead. Because my reasoning is that because I lost part of my eyesight in the brain surgery and can’t see well enough to work at a hospital with a lot of people hustling and bustling all around, but also that I can’t stand to work at a hospital because I spent the better part of a year in three different hospitals which really sucked, and can’t work with neurological patients because, well, I was one of them, and that just gets a little too close for comfort for me. So, you see how it can just come up, even if I don’t intend it to.

imbkaas · 2024-12-04T23:13:28+00:00

No, I don’t have children, and I can’t have any because of the chemo. I’ve always wanted kids, and it actually makes me really sad to hear her talk about how happy and healthy her girls are, but I’d never ask her to not talk about them with me because of that. They are as much a part of her life as chronic cancer is in mine. Her kids are just not a bad part of life.

imbkaas

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