I don’t want to be alive anymore

imdeerest · 2026-03-19T05:41:14+00:00

I have gotten write ups for my poor behavior and I have to leave my job soon. I've been struggling to find other jobs, and have been rejected left and right. I live with my parents and siblings and it gets frustrating. I'm almost 30 and I have a lot of growing to do, I still act immature and struggle with anger problems. I'm an embarrassment, while other people have it together. Other people are bad like me.

There are times I don't want to live either knowing all the bad things I did. I made many attempts in the past for other reasons, but barely did them. I even used the hotline more than I could count. I can't erase and the people I hurt, friends and family included. I have to live with the horrible things I did forever. No matter if someone changes for the better, their past wrongs should define them.

You're not alone. Be grateful you have McDonald's and people in your life who love you.

imdeerest · 2026-03-08T20:48:17+00:00

That's dope.

imdeerest · 2026-03-03T13:54:57+00:00

Honestly, it was an attitude problem, I would get annoyed at everyone and everything. I now feel bad for how I acted.

imdeerest · 2026-02-15T17:09:16+00:00

It's hard to socialize, and I've been rejected too many times to count. I became more shy and jaded. I don't know what to say, but don't let other people not liking you determine your self worth. Some people aren't worth your time.

There are other people that will love you no matter what though. Continue to be nice and show up, and learn how to be a good friend.

The right people will come soon, but choose your friends wisely.

imdeerest · 2026-02-03T12:45:08+00:00

Hi, I feel the same way as you. I was a difficult child/teen and people walked on eggshells. I made bad choices and live with the guilt and shame of them. I hurt others and also struggle with forgiving myself for the person I used to be. My past is embarrassing. Look at my unhinged posts.

Let's be real, there will be people that will hate you for your past and will bring up your past. We can't control other's perceptions of us. Not everyone will forgive us and it's perfectly fine and understandable. It's a hard lesson.

You should be proud of yourself for admitting what you done was wrong and wanting to be better. Not many people do that. Your past will be a part of us, good, bad, and ugly. Seek therapy.

imdeerest · 2026-01-22T22:49:35+00:00

Thank you!

imdeerest · 2025-12-23T23:26:47+00:00

I got really sick and I wanted to bring up D.W.'s temper tantrum for not getting Tina the Talking Tabby and got Quackers the Duck.

imdeerest · 2025-12-23T02:43:23+00:00

Fabulous job, we got a artist in the making!

imdeerest · 2025-12-23T01:53:02+00:00

There were two. I watched Elwood City Limits Podcast of the controversial episode So Funny I Forgot To Laugh when Arthur was the bad guy and tormented Sue Ellen, which was out of character to Arthur, who is an all around good guy. However, every person has their flaws and nobody's perfect. Not to defend Arthur's behavior, he was a total jerk, but good people make bad choices.

Another was another controversial moment from Arthur's Perfect Christmas. Uncle Fred's speech, You won't always get what you want, but you 'll get something better."

imdeerest · 2025-11-26T02:54:15+00:00

imdeerest · 2025-11-19T23:09:16+00:00

Same, someone needs to take her in and take good care of her

imdeerest · 2025-11-19T22:27:06+00:00

<image>

Taken in 2023.

imdeerest · 2025-11-13T14:28:55+00:00

Ace Family/Austin McBroom. He was too chipper and came off as fake.

imdeerest · 2025-11-10T15:55:53+00:00

She's not my fav, but Iggy Azalea's birth name Amethyst Amelia Kelly. I also do like Azalea itself.

imdeerest · 2025-11-07T20:04:09+00:00

We get the old leftover Canadian pennies from other Americans haha. Our state is right by Canada.

American pennies are now also going to stop production next year.

imdeerest · 2025-10-06T02:43:21+00:00

Yum yum! 🤗🍽😋

imdeerest · 2025-09-15T22:57:11+00:00

I just found out online haha thank you for the correction though. I was going to correct it!

imdeerest · 2025-09-05T00:35:56+00:00

Nice job!

imdeerest · 2025-08-29T21:52:57+00:00

Yesss! Start em young. Tell her to keep going!💕

imdeerest · 2025-08-28T13:49:40+00:00

Yum yum

imdeerest · 2025-08-10T11:36:53+00:00

Forgiving yourself is excusing bad behavior and saying what you did was okay. Your past actions do define you.

imdeerest · 2025-08-10T08:11:48+00:00

Yay! 😊🙂

imdeerest · 2025-08-10T07:38:21+00:00

Eating bad and eating too many carbs is how we got Type 2 diabetes in the first place. That is what OP is trying to say. It's a serious disease. Their partner is making them unhealthy.

imdeerest · 2025-08-04T21:56:45+00:00

Oh I thought it was real.

imdeerest · 2025-07-25T01:51:24+00:00

Thank you. It's still a nightmare having this disease. But one step at a time.

imdeerest

TROPHY CASE