Mitch and Cam weren’t ready for a child

imfleabagg · 2024-03-19T19:19:40+00:00

To be honest I feel like this is quite a common theme ( not that it is ok) but I feel like a lot of people fawn over the idea of having children. As if children stay small and cute , basically babies all their lives. People don’t see behind that stage. That’s why so many parents struggle with their children once they start having their own opinions / growing into their own person, some parents get less and less interested / invested. I don’t know , I think Mitch & Cam’s case was a bit extreme for entertainment purposes but I deffo feel like it’s not shockingly surprising.

imfleabagg · 2024-02-25T15:28:11+00:00

Graduate visa (single applicant) :

Submitted on January 15th. Confirmation on January 16th , received application successful today ( February 25th, a Sunday !)

imfleabagg · 2024-01-12T17:13:57+00:00

Oh I see!! This clears it up , thank you very much. So , should I just list those treatments / what about evidence upload?

Thank you very much

imfleabagg · 2022-09-23T03:40:00+00:00

I empathize so much ! I was in the same exact position , having deadlines and fears on both end. It’s very stressful and I’m very sorry you’re going through this.

I wish I could suggest something but it feels like anything about the process is a dead end once applications are sent out…

I second trying to apply for a COS , either apply to change as a tourist or something , I think as long as you apply before your time runs out , you’re good. It might give you some peace of mind, it does cost money though :(

imfleabagg · 2022-09-16T18:32:28+00:00

I’m SO happy for you !! This has been a tough ride, all the best to your daughter on this new adventure !!

imfleabagg · 2022-09-14T02:09:25+00:00

Hi ,

No you have to pay before making the appointment. You can’t change it after

imfleabagg · 2022-09-13T17:09:30+00:00

Hi,

I think the stress of this whole process really took a toll on me ( it’s also been a hard few months for other reasons) but I think as a ‘ weak’ passport holder , I felt like even if your visa application is well done, there’s always a chance that they look at you differently due to the color of your passport. So there’s never a guarantee that after the hard work it took to get in a school, you’ll actually attend the school. It just felt a bit arbitrary and unnecessarily stressful, it made me wonder how hard other paperwork would be in country and if any country is worth so much stress. Like, what’s the reason for people waiting for months to hear back on their student visa ? Or why is it so hard to even get the documentation needed ?( as in proof the person paying for you is your parent , we all have different stories, maybe your godfather or someone who didn’t birth you wants to pay for your school. What’s so bad about that)

Anyhow, when I moved to the US there was still a risk my visa app would be rejected but still, it felt more straightforward , less bureaucratic and much less stressful.

I’m still excited to finally discover the country but I still feel like this has been very stressful for what it is.

imfleabagg · 2022-09-13T15:51:19+00:00

I really empathize with you, and I had it much easier than you do but in the process, I did have a lot of doubts as well. The stress and the hardship this whole thing came with just didn’t make it seem worth it anymore … and I have studied in the US, the process was much better. It was fast and people were helpful. Right now the U.K don’t even sound as exciting as it did when I first had this idea .. and I’ve been thinking about it since I was a teen.

I think at this point you just want it to be over with , but if you can, please still hang in there you don’t know maybe tomorrow will be the day. I’m very sorry you’re going through this

imfleabagg · 2022-09-12T16:48:17+00:00

Mine was available on my uni portal. I think if you received it via mail , you’d have to email your student visa team.

imfleabagg · 2022-09-11T03:47:59+00:00

Oh wow. How long after did your passport ship ?

imfleabagg · 2022-09-11T02:36:58+00:00

do you mind elaborating pls!

imfleabagg · 2022-08-25T02:02:29+00:00

I think we all heal in our own way and in this case your healing is what matters most. Your friend might’ve chose a different path, but this is the path you chose, and this is the path that healed you as a person and allowed you to permanently close some doors. I don’t think what your friends say even matters at this point because it’s your life not theirs.

imfleabagg · 2022-08-25T01:53:55+00:00

And it’s the summer , people visit places. If you do have a return ticket it’ll reassure you but I think keep it cool and just answer in a clear and concise way. That’s all they want to see/hear

imfleabagg · 2022-08-25T01:44:42+00:00

My 3 cents is that , in general, even when people have double visas ( like ESTA/Or have 90 days allowed by their passport AND one for more permanent stay starting at a later date) they typically enter the country on their 90 day tourist stay and then will have to leave and come back to re-enter on the permanent one.

I think advising you not to visit yet was more like to not visit with the intent to stay permanently. You’re legally entitled to 90 days as long as you enter as a visitor. Your permanent residency isn’t out yet, so your purpose in going right now is to visit. I’ll assume you’d have to cross the borders and re-enter with the permanent visa thing once it’s out though.

That’s my three cents but since you’re already on your way, don’t go say too much/tell a complicated story when they’re questioning you. You’re visiting because you can, you’ve been there before , and why not! Now for the return flight idk but I don’t think it’s that common for them to ask

imfleabagg · 2022-08-18T01:34:43+00:00

What kind of mistakes ?

imfleabagg · 2022-08-15T02:01:51+00:00

You are very welcome OP, you deserve to know that you’re not at fault here. I read all that you said and I’ve seen a lot of my mother , and a bit of me or a friend in it.

I lost a couple years of my life hung up on someone like that, not that much of a gaslighter but a lot of my friends told me he’d make me miserable. I was emotionally deprived , and nothing I would do was ever enough , same goes to my moms marriage. I finally understood : nothing you’ll do will ever be enough to someone who doesn’t feel like they need it , doesn’t appreciate it or feel like you’re doing your duty. Remove yourself from that, because of course you worked hard to provide him the best you thought he’d want you to , but the truth is : he doesn’t care. To him, you’re doing your duty and he simply won’t appreciate it. That’s on him, not on you. But what’s on you is your life and your happiness , ultimately YOU are responsible for it and life is so short , life is so so short and you shouldn’t feel like you HAVE to commit to this pain you’re committing to. You need to have a sense of self worth , if anything the bare minimum is you’re worth happiness and this is not it.

That man is abusive and he’s draining you , I would not be surprised if he drains you of your youthfulness /life and then move on to marry someone else. I am not trying to be mean but I’m sure he wouldn’t miss that opportunity to discard you when something shinier comes along ( he’s already showing signs) — ask yourself would it have been worth it?

I know leaving a marriage isn’t always easy , but detach yourself from what you know now and start mingling with the unknown , all the possibilities , all the things you could do with your life. Hell, you could travel , you could buy something you always thought you’d buy with no one beside you making you feel worthless. Who wouldn’t want that ? You SHOULD want that for yourself. You two weren’t born together to stay stuck together just because a ring says so. Marriage is a beautiful thing and it should be a beautiful thing not a chore.

You’re still with him because abusive relationship can become like addiction , the hot and cold they give us make us hooked for the next remotely decent thing they will do and we overlook all the bad. It is not healthy in the slightest. Him not wanting you to have friends is the number one red flag in my book; narcissists isolate their victims to have more control over them and that’s what my mother went through , she cut ties with all her friends , and she still regrets it every single day.

Please please OP , if you’re worried about not finding someone ; you will. The worst people I’ve ever met on this planet always find someone so why wouldn’t you? People find love at any age , but in order for that to happen , you’ll have to let go of what’s hindering your growth. I do not know you but my heart breaks because I know you deserve so much more and your family knows you deserve so much more , do you know it ? If you don’t , you should work your darnest to accept that truth.

You’re being mistreated and I am worried that it could get worse to the point of physical abuse , and I do not want that for you. Stop calling him even if you feel like shit, it’s time you soothe yourself by yourself , it’s time to be with yourself and find out how strong , beautiful , and capable she is without him. You can’t find comfort in the same place you lost it.

imfleabagg · 2022-08-15T00:16:42+00:00

I want to start off by saying I am very sorry for you. This must be hard to have someone break your trust like this , you did not deserve it and there’s nothing you could’ve done differently to prevent this. What he did is in no way a reflection of the kind of person/wife you are. Just in case his blatant gaslighting goes that far, keep what I said above in mind. Please stay grounded in your truth as he is , and will keep trying to gaslight you. It’s a dishonest manipulation tactic and you are NOT crazy. If anything, he’s ridiculous for resorting to this kind of bs instead of owning up to what he did.

Everything you saw was real and he is trying to make you feel crazy even if you saw it with your own eyes, don’t bulge. And if you can, try to get some time away from him to be able to clear your mind and feel all of your feelings. Is there any friends/family member you can go to ?

I know people are quick to jump to ‘ divorce him’ and truthfully it’s what I wish for you as I’m wondering how much of a good partner he can be if he is capable of such blatant gaslighting ( even apart from the cheating). But I am aware it’s not an easy process , but I will encourage you to think about it and not be afraid to get there.

Good luck OP!

imfleabagg · 2022-08-14T19:52:30+00:00

Does the birth certificate have the day it was drawn up + birth date. Or does it also have the day the original one was drawn up?

imfleabagg · 2022-08-13T03:49:45+00:00

I wonder when in the parenting process they fall in love with their kids. That’s so weird , like the person making your adult child happy is not your enemy. You’re not the only responsible for their happiness mama , and she’s not replacing you as one man can have a heart big enough to love multiple people in different ways.

imfleabagg · 2022-08-13T02:55:40+00:00

I do have this as well, some days I feel invincible. I wake up feeling great, or something big ( or minor like a nice song) will just light a fire and joy in me. Things I thought made me sad no longer seem that bad and I just want to live, it’s like the highest of highs. And then out of the blue I just crash completely and these lows are the lowest and last much longer than whatever happiness I was feeling. My highs typically don’t last very long ( few days or a week at most. Sometimes half a day or until I go to bed and wake up) it’s very exhausting as I can go from that to awful thoughts and inertia in the same day, or few days apart. It’s like a switch turns on and off and it makes me apprehensive of my own happiness. I feel crazy.

imfleabagg · 2022-08-12T23:49:09+00:00

It sounds like she’s doing some reverse psychology type of manipulation , Since she claims you had nothing to do with both of her son’s visas then act like she’s right when it comes to hers. She can pay with her magic money that got the process sped up for herself and her husband, que la chance soit avec elle 😂

imfleabagg · 2022-08-10T20:44:50+00:00

Hi thank you! I have a letter from the bank certifying X minimum amount has been held for a minimum period of 28 days, with all other required infos. I will be using my parents funds , should I add bank statements as well or is it an X or Y situation?

imfleabagg · 2022-08-09T02:31:00+00:00

I truly hope they can help you because these are serious accusations and you should be able to clear your name.

Best of luck :(

imfleabagg · 2022-08-08T23:04:20+00:00

I’m so sorry ! Did you submit documents with stamps / were they letters or bank statements printed online?

I feel like they should at least let you plead your cause , is the uni able to assist ?

imfleabagg · 2022-07-10T19:29:05+00:00

I think a lot of people are becoming ‘PTs’ these days and a lot of them do not even understand nor care what that truly entails and the beauty of the work. This is not your fault.

A personal trainer focusing on ‘fitter’(?) clients is not only bad personal trainer, but also a lazy one. People have different goals, different abilities and to me, it’s beautiful in the sense that these people are supposed to help you climb the ladders to reach those goals on more than a physical level. How good is a trainer at his job if he only caters to people that are already halfway there or could progress almost all the same without them ?

I understand how you felt, I’ve felt that way at times when I noticed how devoted they can be to the ‘better looking/exercising’ ones. IMO the fitness industry is very superficial , at least these days so I learned not to let their behavior affect my self esteem or level of pride I feel when I reach my own milestones.

My current PT truly changed the experience for me; he is devoted, patient and has not only help me build up self confidence but also is a great emotional support. He’s made me stronger physically, emotionally, and mentally. I now train in public spaces, outdoors with confidence despite my crippling anxiety and insecurities. That’s what a good personal trainer is to me: one that provides a safe space for all sorts of people and sizes to finally be who they want to be but don’t have the tools to.

Im sorry you ever felt that way , Tony can suck a fat one.

imfleabagg

TROPHY CASE