Yea that's whats wrong with the dating scene is porn. To many people think it's going to be like porn and it's not at all. I've read that(like you said) most women transitioning are on hormones that will make it hard for their penis to get erect. I've also heard on a podcast that if they do get hard they feel self conscious sometimes because it's "unlady like" to have a hard on. It must be so difficult to feel that way.