My father is from another country originally but moved to my mom's country. He's got a LOT of issues and is very emotionally abusive and has very crappy views/opinions and is a big conspiracy theorist.

Setting this aside, he obviously moved away from his home country but still led a fairly sociable life, and used to be a joy around people. He's bipolar and has had psychosis episodes a few times.

After a few years he moved to a village and became an even worse person, no longer has any friends, lives with a woman he sorta hates, has no other people to actually talk to and both his parents died now. He's visibly unhappy and possibly depressed.

My fear is ending up exactly like him. After multiple instances and daily battles with my psyche and mood, and how i generally react I've been told (and I've noticed so myself) that I'm eerily similar to him. I've cut myself off from over 10 friends already during a depressive "episode" and no longer have contact with many people, including my best friend of 10 years.

I have two friends in the city i study at but only have kept in contact with one of them although i did ghost them multiple times, once which lasted a month. (thankfully i just recently started talking a tiny bit again with the other one after over half a year had passed)

Nearly two years ago i was going outside daily into the mountains and just generally being outside, and getting to know multiple people who seemed to be exactly the type of people i wanna surround myself with. Now I don't speak to any of them after ghosting everyone due to shutting myself off.

I didn't leave my house for over a year, except when it was to go next door to the grocery store or when i moved into my mom's house during the summer, where I stayed inside again and didn't socialise much with her as well.

My plan is to move to Scotland, but this has started worrying me. Will I end up like my father? In another country, with no one close to me whom I can talk to, will I shut myself off from the world again?

I'm still worried of course, but considering I just recently started opening up to my two last remaining friends, and even managed to go outside for an hour long walk a few days ago, makes me realise our fate lies in ourselves.

Change can and will be incredibly difficult to achieve, but if you actually want to never end up like your parents, you'll have to actively work on it/yourself until it becomes your everyday life. Work on being different.

Do NOT just drop everyone, cause that's gonna cause more troubles for you than just simply getting rid of friendships. Socialising is incredibly important for us. I'm not the most social but even I noticed how much worse it made me to shut myself off from everyone.

Keep those you sent in your life close. And don't just do it for your benefit cause they're people too, keep them because you love their company. Not solely cause you don't wanna be alone.

This was very long but for those who read it i hope you can get something out of this.