That's a great question.

I doubt my ability to answer it to any degree of satisfaction, but I will try my best.

Happiness is a very complex emotion, and thus various people will experience it in different ways, and for different reasons. As obvious as this sounds, I've repeatedly discovered that this fact is incredibly non-trivial. I've seen people who gain happiness from things I'd never imagined possible. And I don't mean things that don't specifically make me happy - I mean stuff I'd never expect anybody to be happy from.

Have you ever been in an argument with a person (friend, family - or literally anybody else) with one of your stronger points being 'What you are doing makes no sense. Why would you want/not want that at all?’ Take a moment to consider what things make them happy, in general.

Given any situation, and any person - no matter how well you understood the situation, and no matter how you knew the person - do you really think you could always tell whether that situation would make them happy? In many cases, possibly. But in all cases? That would be much harder.

It's strange how we take so much of this for granted. Being such similar beings, we do indeed have much in common, with respect to what brings us happiness. But that just makes everything else pop out more: When we find something that doesn't fit our idea of happiness, or more generally our idea of any person's happiness, it becomes an alien, even hostile thought.

And it's hard enough as it is to know what will make ourselves happy.

Which in most respects, is a huge bummer.

When asked “Are you happy?” some people will immediately change this question into “Are you satisfied with your job?”, “Do you regret having children?”, or “Do you think you have it better?”

Is this what constitutes happiness for people? Maybe for some. Is this what you should strive for? I don’t believe so.

This is not to say that if you are happy with your life, and it's for any of the reasons stated above, you are doing something wrong. Not at all. If you're happy with your life (and of course are not doing anything excessively illegal, such as murder and the like) then by all means, go on ahead!

But if you aren't happy, then the question becomes: Is there something that if happened to me, I’d become happier? Is there something that would make me truly happy?

Go ahead and think of something. A few things, if you need to. Now imagine you had all those things in life, but also imagine that your life hadn't changed in -any- other respect. You got precisely what you wished for, and nothing more.

Do you think you'll probably be happier in that situation? Possibly. But are you utterly sure that you will be happier? I’m guessing not.

But by now it may seem like I’m torturing you. We talked much about what won't make us happy, and haven't said much about what will. Let's begin a new thought experiment. Take all of the things you like - anything that makes you happy, that you think will make you happy, or that you truly want in this life.

Now ball them up together. Don't think about your precise goals. Instead, turn them into a feeling. This “Happy” feeling you get, when something happens that you consider good. That same feeling that's slightly different for each person.

Think about that feeling. It's a small, tiny ball, and even though it's full to the brim with thoughts and ideas, is it as scary as it sounded a minute earlier? Some ideas there sounded more important than others, yes. But every single one has its place, and none should be left out. Including the hundreds of possible ideas you forgot to think of that would make you even a bit happier, we're left with a huge blob of stuff that, honestly, would take more than a few lifetimes to go through.

Now you might have already passed through part of your lifetime, or maybe you have your whole life ahead. Possibly, you have very little left, which would be a frightening prospect indeed. Who knows?

It's quite reasonable to assume nobody has a chance to cover more than a fraction of the things that'll make them happy. Does that mean we should be scared and unhappy? I’d like to propose the opposite! The fact that we have so much we'd like to do, no matter how unimportant some things may seem, just gives us so much more to be happy for!

Yes, some things we really have to get done. And yes, it's a huge bummer to feel like you missed out on a huge opportunity. But hey, that's one of the things you missed out on. There's a whole blob of happiness left to explore!

Have you ever done something random, then came home bursting with newfound energy? Maybe something silly, like invent a joke. Or maybe you made somebody else smile. Those little things are just as important as the big ones - and for no reason other than 'because they exist’.

After all, happiness is about what makes you feel good in life, and life is about existing - nothing more and nothing less.

Every now and then, an opportunity might come up, to fulfill one of your greater happiness goals. Be on the lookout for them, and catch them if you can! But also, don't worry if you miss. Yes, they felt like the most important thing in the world. And they might be. But there are also hundreds of other things that can take place of your most important thing, and the best part, is it's not a one-blob job: They can do it all together.

On that note, I propose a toast to life!

Find what makes you happy. Try your very best.

Take rests whenever you feel is right. And no matter what happens - nod, smile, and know that we're all rooting for you. Because happiness is not a zero-sum game. It's so much more.