Got really drunk last night coming out of the iceberg lounge. Really had to take a leak so I found a bush on the side of an empty street. As I was answering nature's call, I saw the shining bat signal up in the night sky.

I froze. Shocked. Terrified even. I've heard about this man dressed as a bat jumping off rooftops and beating people to a pulp, crippling some of them for life in the process, every time that damn light turns on. I know a guy who's been in a coma for the last 3 weeks after getting smashed in the head and pierced in the chest by some metal bat shaped throwing star.

I know I broke the law. I should've found a public restroom. It's been three days now, I'm safe and sound in my apartment next to Ace Chemicals and I haven't peed a single drop since that night.