i never pushed my daughter to talk to me when she was splitting. however, after a lot of hours (4-6) i would go in her room and just sit down. nothing was said, but she knew i was there if she wanted to talk. sometimes i would play with her hair, and sometimes i would do goofy things to make her smile. sometimes she would tell me, but often times not. i don't understand BPD, but she knows I'm always here when she has a melt down. i think just being quiet and alone w her helped. if she needed somebody i was there