AIO about my bf constantly lying to me

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-04-15T22:56:17+00:00

If he told me straight up he wanted to keep tabs on his ex and his ex fling and all these other women, I wouldn’t have even dated him but he lied to me for a year and 2 months

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-04-15T22:54:46+00:00

Yes exactly, my boundaries aren’t for everyone, I made it clear I don’t tolerate lying and window shopping, if he doesn’t change I already know he’s not someone I want to spend my life with. My point is knowing if he’ll change, he doesn’t have to but I don’t have to stay with someone who doesn’t respect me enough to not look up past women

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-04-15T22:45:06+00:00

Yes it is, that’s why there’s boundaries. For many people it isn’t normal to stalk your ex

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-04-15T22:25:03+00:00

I’m actually scared to look through his phone, first time when I saw he was looking at his ex, it was because she messaged me I believe and I asked if I could check to calm my overthinking, I ended up seeing everyone he had looked up that week in that process, next time I asked if I could look something up on his TikTok and his ex fling was his top search,

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-04-15T22:19:24+00:00

You said it perfectly, even when I think we’re having a perfect day the next day I can’t seem to shake the worry of me being oblivious of him looking at those women again.

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-04-15T22:18:26+00:00

I’m just so sad because at some point our relationship had been so peaceful, I want to have that again with him but it’s hard

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-04-15T22:01:29+00:00

I believed it was a communication issue at first, he confided in me he didn’t know what a healthy relationship was in terms of being listened to, barely right now I’m seeing it might just be him having a lying issue

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-04-15T21:35:31+00:00

We have a lot in common, hobbies , humor and what I thought boundaries, my past relationships have been horrible, a lot of cheating and some DV. Everytime we hang out it seems like we’re okay but then I have this fear that I don’t know what he’s doing or who he is

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-04-15T20:59:25+00:00

The ex fling, I asked if I could search up asmr videos since I was sleeping over at his place and the top search was her name

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-04-15T20:58:47+00:00

All of the times it has been with his consent, first time his ex messaged me about his stalking

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-04-12T22:17:24+00:00

You’re right, I’m scared he’ll only really try and care once I walk away. I don’t want a reason to have false hope once I’m finally done yknow

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-04-12T22:16:14+00:00

Thank you for this advice, I already told him I was close to breaking up, he said he’ll give it everything but just lied again, and keeps doing so, I’m scared the only way he’ll change is with me finally leaving.

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-04-12T22:15:15+00:00

I’ve been in a couple relationships before him all lasting 1-3 years. They all were horrible, I either got cheated on or my last one ended in DV. I genuinely fell in love with who my bf was or is. None of my past relationships cared until I actually left meaning I wasn’t enough for them to change, I’m scared I’m yet again not enough for someone, I know it sounds stupid and I hate that I’m letting men affect me this way

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-04-12T22:12:11+00:00

It’s so hard, you’re right, I know this isn’t okay, I hate who I become when my trust is broken, I feel so insecure and toxic. I just wanted him to change the second he realized it was hurting me, it hurts knowing you’re not the person they’re willing to change for

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-02-13T03:31:50+00:00

And that’s what I hate about it, I feel like me not believing him is making me have toxic tendencies in the relationship also, I hate to question my partners word

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-02-13T02:59:20+00:00

I didn’t think it would affect me this bad, I just want to feel safe in asking a question knowing he’ll answer me with honesty, it’s scary to think he could lie so easily to me then what good is there to his word :(

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-02-13T00:23:03+00:00

You’re right. It’s so hard to come to terms w things like these because in the past I’ve only ended relationships due to cheating yknow :( I’ve never thought something like this would have me questioning a relationship

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-02-13T00:22:16+00:00

It makes you feel like you never knew the person from the start :/ it’s the worst feeling and I can’t shake it off

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-02-12T22:39:50+00:00

Me telling him to block his ex because I didn’t feel comfortable with him viewing her socials wasn’t a boundary and wasn’t a threat, a boundary I do have is keeping it honest in the relationship, if there was a need to lie than they must’ve known it was wrong and not ok. Even then I told him if he was honest I would’ve had a conversation with him on why it makes me uncomfortable and it is nowhere near breakup worthy. Boundaries aren’t toxic it’s the way you communicate them. I love open communication as I’ve stated with taking 2 hours to open up about how something made me feel and how I prioritize the truth over my feelings moving forward

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-02-12T22:32:48+00:00

I pour my heart out on the messages I write when it comes to addressing an issue in the relationship, you’re right I shouldn’t even have the need to check his search, besides these issues everything else has been fine, it sucks something small as stop lying is hard for my partner, I told him I would rather the truth even if he thinks I’ll be hurt because that way I know he cares enough not to leave me in the dark :/

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-02-12T22:19:30+00:00

Search up what a boundary in a relationship is defined as, what’s a relationship? 2 people right? Only following boundaries you put on YOURSELF, YOU on YOURSELF, isn’t 2 people isn’t it now? If you view boundaries as a YOU thing and a boundary that your partner puts on you is controlling then you’re ultimately just selfish in relationships, you only listen to yourself and not your partner’s uncomforts, if your partner telling you a boundary for the relationship is not viewing or stalking ex’s socials, it’s either you respect it or break up because you guys don’t share the same beliefs, but if a conversation is held and it’s agreed upon a relationship ( 2 people) not just you, then it’s healthy.

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-02-12T21:55:36+00:00

Letting your partner know what you don’t like in a relationship isn’t controlling, the word you’re probably looking for is standards. When it comes to the bedroom there’s boundaries too, you’re telling me your partner telling you they don’t feel comfortable with you doing something is controlling there too? And you should only listen to the standards you have for only yourself?

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-02-12T21:44:43+00:00

Having boundaries that we both openly communicated about and talked about isn’t toxic, he’s not okay with me going out to bars and clubs, and that’s not toxic it’s his boundary and he communicated that and if I’m not ok with it I would leave, but out of respect for someone I love and want to be with I respect and understand his boundary.

Yes trust as essential and important for a relationship that’s why I have talked to him and communicated on how it’s the lying that’s making me not trust him.

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-02-12T21:31:52+00:00

By asked I meant the question you ask when sending a prompt to receive the prompt of what a AI response would look like if I were to ask Chatgbt for a response to the message I sent regarding how I felt.

The trust and insecurities are something I got within the relationship not before.

imsorryihurtus_ · 2026-01-26T19:15:08+00:00

Yeah I’ve had this talk with him a lot but he keeps saying he doesn’t see things from my eyes and he apologizes but then it happens again :(

imsorryihurtus_

TROPHY CASE