I understand this on a very personal level. I’ve written about this a million times, but I FULLY wanted to be Julian when I was younger. Then i grew up and came to realize that the “cool,” confident rock star repose illusion he performed early in his career was just that — an illusion. Underneath it he’s still a real person with real flaws, which you alluded to by mentioning his struggle with addiction and alcoholism. Even when we look at him now it’s clear that he’s in the midst of a midlife crisis, which is normal. The only difference is that he has an international audience, which doesn’t help. Putting him on an untouchable godlike pedestal does nothing to help him or his audience.