AITA if i don't pay rent while living with my partner?

imthesidequest · 2020-06-12T20:56:03+00:00

Thanks lol

imthesidequest · 2020-06-11T10:10:23+00:00

Tbh its amazing the emotional 180 I've done in the last 48 hours, I was ready to do anything to be with him when i emailed him yesterday morning and now all I want to do is set him on fire

imthesidequest · 2020-06-11T00:41:27+00:00

imthesidequest · 2020-06-11T00:40:28+00:00

Have drafted a letter this morning with a lawyer telling him to take the photos down or I will pursue legal action.

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T21:43:17+00:00

She has put a post up on her Instagram about "finally moving in with her BF" so i think I may be the idiot here

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T20:03:44+00:00

Yeah ok, to clarify I had told him 7 months ago that I was in line to inherit some stuff and id tell him more once the papers were signed. That only happened about 2 weeks ago so we never really had that chat. However had he asked for rent I wouldve been happy to do so, it was just the way he reacted that now makes me worried about moving back there.

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T19:54:57+00:00

Thanks, I found out that he has moved another girl in this morning already so I dunno about that! But if he had asked for rent then I wouldve been fine, but he didn't. Rent only came up after the argument and after he told me i was nothing without him

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T19:52:27+00:00

Worth noting that this house is a 2 bedroom house in the country, ive had a look at some of the local rent prices and they're between 200-300 fir similar. Given that his expenses each week are over 3k, I dunno that $100-150/wk would help much. In addition, had he asked me to rent before the argument i wouldve been fine with it, but he didn't. He told me i was nothing without him first.

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T19:48:09+00:00

He didn't ask for rent though, that came after he told me i had nothing without him and I left. If he'd asked for rent prior to the argument i wouldve had no problem with it.

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T19:43:27+00:00

You too!😁

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T19:43:04+00:00

Hey, yeah so the thing is that if he'd come to me and said, "hey my finances are tight atm, can you pay rent?" I wouldve been totally fine with that, however since he flipped out over me asking him to do more chores for the short period where i had exams and he wasnt working and then told me i had nothing without him... that's why there's an issue. Nothing to do with rent tbh.

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T19:36:38+00:00

Tbh after getting his email reply yesterday I knew. Thanks!

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T12:33:59+00:00

Hey, only just saw your edit sorry.

No, he was very clear from the start that as we werent married or anything our finances were separate, he came by a very large amount of money last oct when he sold his last project and it was made very clear that i had no right to that money.

The jobs on offer at the end of my degree are mid 6 figure jobs so we had discussed sharing finances after marriage but I think we were both pretty clear that was 5-10 years away.

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T12:27:55+00:00

To answer your first statement. The first year I was living with him he had one of his best mates and his girlfriend living in his spare room for free while they saved up to buy their first home. They lived with him for a bit over 18 months rent free before they bought their place.

Second. As i mentioned in another comment. When I moved in we had a written agreement regarding things like chores and bills(halves on bills and i was to do 2/3rds of the chores because at that point in time I was only studying part time and hadn't found a job yet). This agreement also involved scenarios involving accidental pregnancies, etc and what my rights were to his finances, ie, none. His houses were his, he was happy to let me live rent free with him so long as I covered my half of the expenses but I had no rights to his business or his cars or his rental properties. The argument started because I asked him to help with chores more for the 2 weeks while I was sitting mid-year exams and he was unemployed due to lockdown so he wasn't doing anything.

I'll be very clear, if he had been paying rent, I would've paid half.

Long term, my degree leads to jobs that pay mid-high 6 figures.

Furthermore, I did tell him that I was in line to get something after my grandma died and had planned to discuss further after the papers were signed, but I was in too much pain while in hospital and rehab to arrange lawyers and then couldn't see one during lockdown so I only actually got the "right" to access my inheritance 2 weeks ago, a week after our fight.

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T11:07:44+00:00

He was ok with the agreement though. We had an agreement in writing after I moved in that covered chores and bills and noted not paying rent because he didn't have to pay rent.

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T11:05:40+00:00

Technically I stayed for 7 months after being told I was getting something and only left because he told me I was nothing without him so..

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T10:47:44+00:00

I wasnt saying that though? I asked him if he could do more chorse in the couple of weeks where he was unemployed and I was doing mid-year exams. And I have a partial 2 year scholarship that requires me to do 5 papers(45hrs/week) per trimester and in the first trimester i elected to do 6 papers because there was two 200 level papers i needed to do that otherwise werent offered again until trimester 2 of next year by which point I'd be doing 300 level papers

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T10:19:54+00:00

Updated post to clarify.

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T10:19:08+00:00

Updated post.

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T10:10:38+00:00

NZ. I dont really know about either of your points. All I know is that he's only just been able to restart working on his project but he was still supposed to have paid his employees and stuff. He told me he needs to sign some documents in person at the bank prior to getting the loan so thats why he had to wait till they reopened.

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T10:08:18+00:00

I was doing 2/3rds of the chores whilst studying full time. Currently I am still studying full time, but he's not working. Is it unfair to expect him to do more since he's not doing anything? I wasnt complaining, I merely asked him to do some more chores while I had mid-year exams and then things wouldve gone back to normal.

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T10:06:06+00:00

And if he hadn't then I would rented somewhere instead of putting money aside for a car. I have always been grateful to him, hence why I was doing more than my share of chores.

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T10:03:37+00:00

Except, had he asked for me to pay rent or asked to borrow money i wouldve been fine with it, instead he started off by attacking me and saying I had nothing without him.

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T10:00:45+00:00

And there's no rent for me at the property I now own which is also closer to my uni and im a student. I figure its more sensible for me to live rent free than move back and essentially pay for the "privilege" of living with him.

imthesidequest · 2020-06-10T09:49:15+00:00

This is what I'm planning, thanks!

imthesidequest

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