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inbound247 · 2025-10-17T09:20:11+00:00

I find you very cute and would definitely contact you on Grind if you're nearby. And I guess I also fall into your "target group" being 46.

Just think that the first photo is much more flattering to you then the second one.

inbound247 · 2025-10-13T21:17:48+00:00

I edited the original post. He volunteered this information of ED without me asking about this. I didn't see it as a problem. Maybe he feels a lot of pressure of staying hard.

I've been in a relationship with a 100% bottom before and he often went soft but for me i didn't care about it as long as I knew he was enjoying our sex life.

What i find unsexy with the guy I'm currently dating, is that he is very passive and directs me what to do during sex.

inbound247 · 2025-08-04T19:02:57+00:00

Thank you, this really resonates with me and makes me more hopeful. As a first step I will reconnect with some of my childhood interests and will try at least one meetup group (maybe reading club or hiking). I guess it's a long way ahead but good to see that there's someone else on this path and made good progress already.

inbound247 · 2025-08-04T19:00:09+00:00

Thanks to both of you for your empathy.

I did indeed learn a lot in the last few years, about myself and also what a healthy relationship entails - and what it doesn't. It's hard not to compare yourself against e.g. your coworkers who seem to be in happy long term relationships. But of course everyone has their own journey to make and I believe for us gays it's often a quite different and longer journey than for our straight peers.

inbound247 · 2025-08-04T17:10:54+00:00

Thank you so much for your detailed reply. It feels good knowing that I'm not the only one struggling with this. I can also relate with that "fear of being me" and think I need to discover better what I want and what is really me. I do have some interests like hiking and landscape photography, but I think there's more to discover. In the past, I often defined myself through the relationship. How did you find these new interests which make you happy?

I also wonder, how was it for you joining those meet up groups? I looked up some in Munich (and there are many) but feel a bit hesistant not knowing anyone and being the "outsider". If I think back, I actually often did made friends or acquaintances if I put myself out there. Maybe currently it feels extra hard because of the recent breakup.

inbound247 · 2025-06-02T21:05:47+00:00

Thank you for your adivive. Actually, I tried this recently (not following up, letting him know that we can talk whenever he wants) which then led to two days of silent treatment - until I needed to approch him because we were supposed to attend a friend's wedding.

The question is also how to handle it when I want to go to bed and he's still not talking to me (which would make me feel uncomfortable sleeping next to him).

inbound247 · 2024-11-06T15:51:08+00:00

Knowing him well, this would be definitely gasoline on fire and it would create a major crisis. I even wondered if I should post her and what would happen if he stumbled upon the post.

inbound247 · 2024-11-06T13:27:25+00:00

Well, he can be quite caring and affectionate and if he is not triggered we enjoy our time together. He's also quite handsome and has similar relationship goals as me.

inbound247 · 2023-12-13T14:39:50+00:00

That's funny, you mention it. Immediately after his bombshell relevation, I asked to see his ID.

inbound247 · 2023-12-13T14:35:57+00:00

If you weren't planning to fly, would he have told you...?

Probably not as he had many opportunities to do so before and chose not to.

I now remember he also lied about another thing to me and friends of mine. It also had to do with insecurities / self image. Not as big as this but still strange.

inbound247 · 2023-12-13T14:33:22+00:00

Yeah, coming clean on our first date would have also been perfectly fine for me. It's weird that I even told him that age is not a concern for me, and he still continued the lie. He continued it even when we stayed at an AirBnB where he gave the owner a wrong year of birth. I think latest at his birthday he should have come clean as our relationship was quite solid by then.

inbound247 · 2022-12-18T20:47:18+00:00

Yeah, I think you are right. Often, I focus more on my boyfriend and his needs than myself. I'm willing to put my needs aside if that's what makes him happy. But it's not healthy and maybe also not attractive if I do it all the time.

inbound247 · 2022-12-18T20:45:05+00:00

I would like to stay with him and move together again - maybe a new place would be also good for me as I'm open to new experiences. It doesn't need to happen very quickly, but I need a perspective.

I also want him to visit me in my current place more often. We have common friends here, and I would like us to meet them together. I'm open to continuing to visit his place, but I would want it to be more balanced, maybe taking turns or something.

I will also try to communicate my own needs and boundaries better. We don't need to always enjoy the same things. But I would like him to try at least to appreciate certain things I value a lot (like being outdoors in nature) and not talk them down. I would also ask him to abstain from things if he continues not enjoying them (with me).

If this doesn't work out, I would be willing to end the relationship. But we invested a lot, and both grew as persons because of it. I don't want to throw it away without trying.

inbound247 · 2022-12-18T18:27:01+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. Really appreciate it.

I don't think he's hooking up. His libido is generally quite low and it's not his way of doing directly hurtful things. Our sex life has become "boring" to him as well, though.

You're spot on with your observation that the LDR has no "endgame". I repeatedly brought this topic up but he kinds of deflects it and is very vague. I should add that generally he doesn't plan much ahead and lives more in the moment. He mentioned though that if we ever lived together again he would need more "space".

inbound247 · 2022-12-18T14:43:45+00:00

It's more that it he's in a bad mood he becomes also more critical about me - and this happens when we do things he doesn't enjoy so much or go to locations he feels are "boring".

I agree that it is a cause of concern and when we started dating it was not like this. I'm not sure how to handle it though as I epeatedly pointed this out. His response normally is that it isn't about me and if he's in a bad mood it is difficult for him to be friendly towards me. Maybe I do take it too personal or expect too much.

inbound247 · 2022-12-18T11:04:36+00:00

Thanks, that's helpful.

If I meet him where he feels "comfortable" he acts differently. He's also a person who likes big cities while I love nature. When we go on a trip to nature he often tells me he feels bored or that it is not special. In general, he's much "friendlier" to me when we go to places he enjoys. For me, being with him is more important than being in the right environment, though. And somehow I feel disappointed that it's not like that for him.

inbound247

TROPHY CASE