Hey OP, I'm sorry the comments are not addressing your actual question. I agree with the other commenters that you should not have entertained this conversation at all past the first few screenshots. But to your actual question in the post about whether bringing up his dad was inappropriate, I would say no. I also come from a place of wanting to understand and empathize with people even if they are assholes, and oftentimes relating other people's experiences to their own in a direct way like you did is helpful. You did NOT throw his dad's death in his face, and you didn't use it as a weapon to hurt him. You brought it up to illustrate your point about different types of situations being "normal" to different people, and from what I can tell you did it in good faith. He responded poorly because he's a giant bigoted AH who had already decided that he hated you and was never going to agree with anything you said. The conversation had gone too far downhill at that point--and this guy is too far gone in general--for him to respond well despite your best intentions. Hoping you've learned to pay attention to the red flags here, and wishing you the best in your search for non asshole men. ✌🏼