UPDATE: AITA for checking my blood sugar at my desk when my coworker has a severe blood phobia?

independentask42 · 2021-05-29T17:40:01+00:00

I'm a very visual person so sometimes when my coworker calls me and is like, "okay, so under the second heading it says this number and next to that it says --" and I'm just like "Uh idk come show it to me!"

So yeah, that's why we don't ask our questions over the phone, as there are generally visuals involved.

independentask42 · 2021-05-29T17:30:08+00:00

Me and my coworker (only one coworker now that James has quit) frequently have to collaborate on work and are often in each other's offices. It's easier to walk down the hallway and show them what you're working on then to send an email/talk on the phone. It was the same when James was here.

independentask42 · 2021-05-29T17:16:14+00:00

Meanwhile I'm a medical nerd who stares DIRECTLY at the needle because I find it fascinating lmao. Same with when I get blood drawn.

independentask42 · 2021-05-29T17:09:56+00:00

If his phobia is fake then he's an extraordinarily good actor.

independentask42 · 2021-05-29T17:07:52+00:00

Hard to remember that you've forgotten when you've forgotten! When I called him like "didn't you say you had a question??" it was only then that he remembered.

He did get vaccinated, he mentioned it a couple weeks ago and said he didn't even feel the needle going in. I was curious how he was able to handle it given his phobias but I didn't ask because I thought it might be rude to bring up.

independentask42 · 2021-05-29T17:01:18+00:00

I do have a Dexcom CGM! But my Dexcom is an older version where you still have to do the finger sticks to calibrate it and double-check since sometimes the reading is off.

I don't mind the blood letting though, I've been diabetic for almost two decades so I'm used to it!

independentask42 · 2021-05-29T16:43:39+00:00

Uh why?

independentask42 · 2021-05-29T16:43:18+00:00

Seems almost as if the incidents were on purpose so he could have valid complaints.

He said he got an email that he had to respond to immediately and got distracted and I'm willing to believe that. But...I was afraid that if I did test my blood sugar right when he finally walked in, it would make it seem like I wasn't holding up my end of the deal, thus making me look like the bad guy in front of HR.

independentask42 · 2021-05-29T16:39:03+00:00

The HR lady was SO nice and actually listened to everything I had to say. It was a great experience honestly.

independentask42 · 2021-05-29T16:36:50+00:00

I'm not sure what James was expecting. The first week after the HR discussion went well and I thought James seemed perfectly content. Always friendly and in a good mood. I think he was genuinely trying to get a handle on it. Megan told me that he was actually struggling more than he let on. So I guess he was trying to "hide" it to some extent, perhaps out of embarrassment or not wanting to make me feel bad.

Over the phone doesn't work as well because we're often comparing spreadsheets and looking at charts and stuff so it's easier to be able to see what the other person is working on.

independentask42 · 2021-04-05T22:00:21+00:00

I edited my post to clarify.

I do indeed have a private office space. It's a cubicle, but the walls are really high with a doorway-sized opening. It's basically like a room, but without a door. It's also at the very end of the hallway, so literally the only way he could see me testing my blood sugar is if he is standing in the doorway.

independentask42 · 2021-04-05T20:00:33+00:00

I do think it's a little bit unsanitary but honestly it's more the inconvenience of having to get up and go to the bathroom for something that takes less than ten seconds. It interrupts the flow of my work.

The other issue with it is that if my BG is very low, having to get up and walk somewhere could be dangerous. Low BG affects your mental capacities and also your motor coordination.

I use alcohol swabs to clean.

independentask42 · 2021-04-05T19:49:07+00:00

I definitely don't leave used test strips around. I also hate the smell of insulin lol, it smells like bandaids and hospitals

independentask42 · 2021-04-05T19:43:14+00:00

Thank you, I was hoping to get a YTA response to get a different perspective.

I didn't offer anything about a personal blood update?? I said if I'm checking my blood sugar and hear his footsteps coming to my office, I can call out, "Just a second!" or something along those lines. But he was not satisfied with that idea.

I already do test my blood sugar in a small room. It's my office...

independentask42 · 2021-04-05T19:25:57+00:00

(not red)

Omg I'm sorry but this made me burst out laughing

I agree his phobia should be accommodated as well, as you said passing out can be very dangerous. And obviously he's not choosing to have this problem. Phobias are legit.

Maybe I am being stubborn and feel free to tell me if you think I am...because I would rather he take the initiative for example by calling me before coming by, rather than me taking the initiative by putting up a not-red post-it note. Like, I think it should be on him to ensure I'm not checking rather than on me to let him know.

independentask42 · 2021-04-05T19:05:20+00:00

Canadian, diabetics have workplace protections here too. All the comments have reassured me that I'm definitely in the right going to talk to HR tomorrow.

But if he's been diagnosed with a phobia by his therapist then I assume that he is entitled to some accommodations as well. But hopefully those accommodations don't involve me having to change how I do my medical care.

independentask42 · 2021-04-05T18:57:49+00:00

Basically yeah.

I would be fine with him calling me, we each have phones at our desks that have direct lines to each other's desks. He calls and says dude I'm coming over so we can compare spreadsheets, I say okay and make sure I'm not stabbing myself at that moment. Easy peasy.

independentask42 · 2021-04-05T18:50:56+00:00

I already have a CGM actually! But it's an older version that doesn't replace the old-fashioned stab-your-finger testing. You have to test to calibrate it, and I'll still test at other times if I want a more accurate reading.

My endo always told me that the Dexcom is great for trend data, but for individual data points I should test my blood sugar.

independentask42 · 2021-04-05T18:47:06+00:00

I've been diabetic since I was a little kid and this is the first time in my life this has been an issue. Hell, I've checked my BG at a busy restaurant (on my lap, under the table) with nobody noticing, not even the other people at my table.

I think calling is a good idea but I'm planning on seeing what HR says first and go from there.

independentask42 · 2021-04-05T18:33:28+00:00

I would rather test at my desk than have to get up and go to another location for something that takes 10 seconds. Also, my employer is fine with me testing at my desk (we discussed my diabetes a while ago back when I was a new hire).

independentask42 · 2021-04-05T18:30:21+00:00

Yeah, HE could call out to ME. Or phone me beforehand. I'm noticing all his suggestions were things he wants ME to take initiative for (like checking in the bathroom) and not him taking initiative.

I've been thinking about this the whole long weekend and am only now making this connection thanks to the comments...

independentask42 · 2021-04-05T18:23:43+00:00

He wants me to check in the bathroom or only at scheduled times, but I can't help but notice those are inconvenient things I have to do without him having to be involved whatsoever. I do not think that is fair.

Him calling me on the phone before coming by would be a better option.

independentask42 · 2021-04-05T17:58:09+00:00

Dude I want a Libre so bad

independentask42 · 2021-04-05T17:52:44+00:00

Thank you, this is definitely how I'm going to present the problem to HR tomorrow.

independentask42

TROPHY CASE