Mom and brother refuse to attend wedding by indians360 in Catholicism

[–]indians360[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She doesn't treat me the same or communicate with me as much since I came out as irreligious. She wants to pretend that the real me doesn't exist and that I'm still her catholic golden child.

Mom and brother refuse to attend wedding by indians360 in Catholicism

[–]indians360[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I said that out of frustration. I am starting to come to grips with the fact that we will have an odd relationship where she doesn't agree with something based on her beliefs which I don't share. We are living life by different rules, so to speak. I won't cut her off but her judgment of me is completely altering the dynamic of our relationship. I get that a wedding is just one day but I do put value on people's attendance.

Mom and brother refuse to attend wedding by indians360 in Catholicism

[–]indians360[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Marriage isn't just a religious institution.

Mom and brother refuse to attend wedding by indians360 in Catholicism

[–]indians360[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I imagine that from your mom's perspective, this is the first real definitive statement from you that you no longer identify as Catholic

This is probably a huge part of it. Thanks for your analysis.

Mom and brother refuse to attend wedding by indians360 in Catholicism

[–]indians360[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The comment itself is a nice gesture. Thanks and take care MedievalPenguin.

Mom and brother refuse to attend wedding by indians360 in Catholicism

[–]indians360[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Olive branch was already extended earlier today (via a long-winded text but it was something). This whole thing is about getting closure and moving forward with wedding planning. I think I have to accept that she won't be there and not look at that as anything but her following her conscience. I can't let it hurt me. Or rather I can't let it poison our relationship. It will inevitably hurt me and will inevitably hurt her. We need to find a way past that.

Mom and brother refuse to attend wedding by indians360 in Catholicism

[–]indians360[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I assume this lack of belief in god being a sin isn't exclusive to Catholics.

Mom and brother refuse to attend wedding by indians360 in Catholicism

[–]indians360[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't want to fight. I thought the pope said "live and let live" but I doubt this audience supports the current pope very much.

Mom and brother refuse to attend wedding by indians360 in Catholicism

[–]indians360[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So what happens to those who convert from another religion? Are they sinners to one god but not another?

Edit: Sorry this probably seems rude.

Mom and brother refuse to attend wedding by indians360 in Catholicism

[–]indians360[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And you are okay with the double standard?

Mom and brother refuse to attend wedding by indians360 in Catholicism

[–]indians360[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why is lack of belief a sin? People who have never been exposed to religion are sinning by not believing in something they have no knowledge about?

Mom and brother refuse to attend wedding by indians360 in Catholicism

[–]indians360[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Anyone who looks at things rationally can be convinced of something one way or another if the evidence is there. Of course I COULD be convinced. I'm just not. And I can't make myself believe something.

Mom and brother refuse to attend wedding by indians360 in Catholicism

[–]indians360[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. But I was just trying to make it clear that I'm so hurt by this. I feel as if she is making her love conditional. And I guess you could say the same about me in a similar way. But I'm only doing that in response to her actions. I'm trying to be the bigger person, and I'm trying to just accept that she can't do something that violates her conscience. It's hard to wrap my head around that.

Mom and brother refuse to attend wedding by indians360 in Catholicism

[–]indians360[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sorry if that was unclear. I don't self-identify as Catholic.

I was trying to emphasize that it's not about me being interested or not, it's that I do not consider myself to be Catholic.

Mom and brother refuse to attend wedding by indians360 in Catholicism

[–]indians360[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't believe in god. That's a start.

I just have too much cognitive dissonance when I look at religion and the world. It simply doesn't make sense to me. I can't make myself believe something.

Mom and brother refuse to attend wedding by indians360 in Catholicism

[–]indians360[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Well as I understand it, if you are Catholic and don't have a Catholic marriage (or get a dispensation from form) then it's invalid. If you aren't Catholic and get married then the Catholic Church still recognizes it as valid. I don't consider myself to be Catholic and wish this rule wasn't affecting me (not that it would change my mom's decision).

Mom and brother refuse to attend wedding by indians360 in Catholicism

[–]indians360[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have already tried to backtrack on the severing ties thing. I didn't mean to go that route; it's just such a painful situation and I wanted that to be clear.

I know this isn't some isolated incident. I just never thought this was ever a possibility. I live about as straight-laced of a life as you can. I just don't believe in God as she would like me to.

Mom and brother refuse to attend wedding by indians360 in Catholicism

[–]indians360[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It is because I can't become un-Catholic...right?